ponderings
Last night was a struggle toward the end. Aren't all things though? Work was a struggle, I had to go get the oil changed in my car, went and got some food to sustain me till the next pay check and for some reason the mood, already brooding and just unhappy about the difficulties at work started to swivel inward. Chicken Tikka for dinner, chocolate Chip cookie and a bubble bath with one of my favorite fiction novels...no luck.
Asking myself why a lot. Why did I buy this house, why did I take the job in Virginia and stay here for just shy of a decade? all sorts of whys. I have answers for most of them, I'm just not entirely satisfied with them.
I am still in Virginia because it was the best job offer to come along my way ten years ago.
I bought the house because, well i needed a place to live and I am tired of spending what i now pay in a mortgage payment in rent. SO really I've made an investment....sometimes it doesn't feel like it and its been just under a year.
I do like my house, i just wish i had the income to make all the improvements i want to do. I grew up in a house that was always in the process of some sort of construction, destruction etc. So i should be used to things being partway done....i'm not. I've talked to family about it and they explain that i'm the only one doing the work now and its going to go slower. these lulls don't seem to help much of course.
Also, my dad is being inducted into my high school's athletic hall of fame; he and one of his wrestlers and the 97 state championship team. I had requested to have tonight off...one of the few times i ask for time off....I didn't get the time off. Maybe that's ultimately why I'm feeling so low. I had a possibility of going home to my parent's and celebrating with them and the wrestling family. so instead of being productive (on day six of a long week) i'm sulking and really just....being lazy and unmotivated after working all night.
excuses excuses, I've got excuses. or rather reasons that I'm just not content at the moment.
ok i'm going to numb the mind with some facebook games, maybe a bit of pinterest.....then bed..yay 3rd shift 0___o
Asking myself why a lot. Why did I buy this house, why did I take the job in Virginia and stay here for just shy of a decade? all sorts of whys. I have answers for most of them, I'm just not entirely satisfied with them.
I am still in Virginia because it was the best job offer to come along my way ten years ago.
I bought the house because, well i needed a place to live and I am tired of spending what i now pay in a mortgage payment in rent. SO really I've made an investment....sometimes it doesn't feel like it and its been just under a year.
I do like my house, i just wish i had the income to make all the improvements i want to do. I grew up in a house that was always in the process of some sort of construction, destruction etc. So i should be used to things being partway done....i'm not. I've talked to family about it and they explain that i'm the only one doing the work now and its going to go slower. these lulls don't seem to help much of course.
Also, my dad is being inducted into my high school's athletic hall of fame; he and one of his wrestlers and the 97 state championship team. I had requested to have tonight off...one of the few times i ask for time off....I didn't get the time off. Maybe that's ultimately why I'm feeling so low. I had a possibility of going home to my parent's and celebrating with them and the wrestling family. so instead of being productive (on day six of a long week) i'm sulking and really just....being lazy and unmotivated after working all night.
excuses excuses, I've got excuses. or rather reasons that I'm just not content at the moment.
ok i'm going to numb the mind with some facebook games, maybe a bit of pinterest.....then bed..yay 3rd shift 0___o