AND TAKE IT TO THE LIMIT ONE MORE TIME....
"So put me on a highway
And show me a sign
And take it to the limit one more time"
That is my lyrical quote of my week because it pretty much sums up everything that i have bottled up inside of right now, and thats alot.
Let me explain a little bit....it might take a while.
Andrew called me the other day.
HE said that he just wanted to talk to me.
So on friday night at like 11 we went and parked in the "secret spot (summer i miss you)" and chated.
At first he just made small talk..you know how are things whats up.
But i knew that wasnt what he dragged me out of my house for
so i just waited for him to quit the bull and just come out with it.
Finally he told me what has been killing him for about 3 weeks now.
He told me hes been absolutely miserably.
Esecially when he sees me around glou. with jj.
He told me he even cryed, and andrew NEVER crys.
i dont think that i could even picture him crying but i guess he did.
He says he cant sleep cant eat and hes hit rock bottom.
I do feel kinda bad for him but i dont have any sympathy.
I dont think he knows what he put me through, because he put me through hell.
He treated me like shit and made me feel like i was nothing to him.
he cheated lied and broke my heart byond compare.
i dont think that ive ever cryed so much in my entire life.
AND THATS A LOT.
But still i told him that he deserves what he got.
He deserves to be hurting and wishing he didnt fuck up as bad as he did.
I wish he didnt either but whats done is done and all anyone can try and do is fix it.
So thats what he wants to do...fix things with me.
But i dont know what to do at all.
Andrew could have been the effing love of my life. true story.
I gave him everything he wanted i treated him so good I DID HIS FUCKING LAUNDRY
but he took it for granted and thats not my problem.
He cant just have everything back be cause he feels sorry
thats not the way that it works with me.
I dont know what i want to do
I am dating jj and its honestly so good
but deep inside i still have those intense feelings for andrew.
I told andrew i wasnt going to stop ddating jj
and he said that was fine but that as long as we can hang out as friends.
i said yes. andrew is still like my best friend.
So on sunday i went up to the mall to get a few things wiht andrew
and then we went out to eat.
I must say its wasnt as bad as i thought it was going to be at all.
We laugheed and had fun just like we always do.
ANd that broke my heart even more
It broke my heart that after everything hes put me through,
after all the shit hes done i cant hate him i just can not hate him
that has to mean something right?
but then that night i went and got hot chocolat with jj pete linberge and danbrown!
and it was hilarious as always
and after when it was just me and jj at stage fort it was just as good.
i like laughing with him and i like being cute wiht him
i like having something new but im still hanging on to something old and i dont know how to let go or if i want to just quite yet.
what the fucking hell do i do?
someone please just help me because im in a rut and i dont think i can get out anytime soon. blech.
Peter ruan texted me last night.
We just made small talk for a few minutes
but then he asked me to hang out and i had to bring up the whole ordeal.
He filpped.
he sai he never said that and he would never say that
hhe also said he liked me about five hunded times via text messgae
but i dont think that i cna believe him at all
because hes dont shit like this before and theres no denying that
so for right now i dont even want to deal with it
ill just let him do his thing
and ill just fucking do mine
i dont give a shit whos lying or whos not.
Im done with it and i want something positive in my life to come out of shit like this.
"So put me on a highway
And show me a sign
And take it to the limit one more time
You can spend all your time making money
You can spend all your love making time
If it all fell to pieces tomorrow
Would you still be mine? "
please summer just com back to me. I just want to feel that way again
This past summer was the best
and nothing beats the cottage ever.
I get sad whenever i think of it and it just seems to far away
but atleast i have that feeling with me
and nothing can take that away.
things are just so complicated now
with school and boys and girls and parents and job.
i dontknow what to do with myself.
i always feel like shit
im running on redbulls skittles and cigs.
I sound like a faggot hahesa.
But its true
I dont ever get enough sleep
my throat is killing me
and i think im heading for a break down sometime soon.
it isnt going to be fun
but maybe completly breaking down will make me get back up and do what im supposed to.
i just want to laydown in my bed and sleepp for an entire week
if i could do that i would wake up and be fine.
or is school stared at like 8 that would be pretty swell as well.
But lifes a bitch and i know that
ialso know nothings ever going to change or ge better unless i make it get beter.
So all i need is a little modivation, just a little please, to get up and do something with my life. or atleast start planning.
But i cant and untill the day that i do things will suck
and thats a damn shame but hey! what are you going to do about it.
NOTHING.
do people honestly like to hear me bitch? because i sure do :)
And show me a sign
And take it to the limit one more time"
That is my lyrical quote of my week because it pretty much sums up everything that i have bottled up inside of right now, and thats alot.
Let me explain a little bit....it might take a while.
Andrew called me the other day.
HE said that he just wanted to talk to me.
So on friday night at like 11 we went and parked in the "secret spot (summer i miss you)" and chated.
At first he just made small talk..you know how are things whats up.
But i knew that wasnt what he dragged me out of my house for
so i just waited for him to quit the bull and just come out with it.
Finally he told me what has been killing him for about 3 weeks now.
He told me hes been absolutely miserably.
Esecially when he sees me around glou. with jj.
He told me he even cryed, and andrew NEVER crys.
i dont think that i could even picture him crying but i guess he did.
He says he cant sleep cant eat and hes hit rock bottom.
I do feel kinda bad for him but i dont have any sympathy.
I dont think he knows what he put me through, because he put me through hell.
He treated me like shit and made me feel like i was nothing to him.
he cheated lied and broke my heart byond compare.
i dont think that ive ever cryed so much in my entire life.
AND THATS A LOT.
But still i told him that he deserves what he got.
He deserves to be hurting and wishing he didnt fuck up as bad as he did.
I wish he didnt either but whats done is done and all anyone can try and do is fix it.
So thats what he wants to do...fix things with me.
But i dont know what to do at all.
Andrew could have been the effing love of my life. true story.
I gave him everything he wanted i treated him so good I DID HIS FUCKING LAUNDRY
but he took it for granted and thats not my problem.
He cant just have everything back be cause he feels sorry
thats not the way that it works with me.
I dont know what i want to do
I am dating jj and its honestly so good
but deep inside i still have those intense feelings for andrew.
I told andrew i wasnt going to stop ddating jj
and he said that was fine but that as long as we can hang out as friends.
i said yes. andrew is still like my best friend.
So on sunday i went up to the mall to get a few things wiht andrew
and then we went out to eat.
I must say its wasnt as bad as i thought it was going to be at all.
We laugheed and had fun just like we always do.
ANd that broke my heart even more
It broke my heart that after everything hes put me through,
after all the shit hes done i cant hate him i just can not hate him
that has to mean something right?
but then that night i went and got hot chocolat with jj pete linberge and danbrown!
and it was hilarious as always
and after when it was just me and jj at stage fort it was just as good.
i like laughing with him and i like being cute wiht him
i like having something new but im still hanging on to something old and i dont know how to let go or if i want to just quite yet.
what the fucking hell do i do?
someone please just help me because im in a rut and i dont think i can get out anytime soon. blech.
Peter ruan texted me last night.
We just made small talk for a few minutes
but then he asked me to hang out and i had to bring up the whole ordeal.
He filpped.
he sai he never said that and he would never say that
hhe also said he liked me about five hunded times via text messgae
but i dont think that i cna believe him at all
because hes dont shit like this before and theres no denying that
so for right now i dont even want to deal with it
ill just let him do his thing
and ill just fucking do mine
i dont give a shit whos lying or whos not.
Im done with it and i want something positive in my life to come out of shit like this.
"So put me on a highway
And show me a sign
And take it to the limit one more time
You can spend all your time making money
You can spend all your love making time
If it all fell to pieces tomorrow
Would you still be mine? "
please summer just com back to me. I just want to feel that way again
This past summer was the best
and nothing beats the cottage ever.
I get sad whenever i think of it and it just seems to far away
but atleast i have that feeling with me
and nothing can take that away.
things are just so complicated now
with school and boys and girls and parents and job.
i dontknow what to do with myself.
i always feel like shit
im running on redbulls skittles and cigs.
I sound like a faggot hahesa.
But its true
I dont ever get enough sleep
my throat is killing me
and i think im heading for a break down sometime soon.
it isnt going to be fun
but maybe completly breaking down will make me get back up and do what im supposed to.
i just want to laydown in my bed and sleepp for an entire week
if i could do that i would wake up and be fine.
or is school stared at like 8 that would be pretty swell as well.
But lifes a bitch and i know that
ialso know nothings ever going to change or ge better unless i make it get beter.
So all i need is a little modivation, just a little please, to get up and do something with my life. or atleast start planning.
But i cant and untill the day that i do things will suck
and thats a damn shame but hey! what are you going to do about it.
NOTHING.
do people honestly like to hear me bitch? because i sure do :)