On Frenchness
Actual cheese customer interaction from a few weeks ago:
Me: Hello, can I help you with anything?
Customer: Thanks, I'm just trying to decide...
Me: Okay, just let me know if you'd like to sample anything.
Customer: Well, I lived in France for ten years, so I think I know what all these are like.
Me: Whoa, okay, lady, not all good cheeses are from France, and I lived there, too, so don't get snarky with me.
Oh, sorry--that's what I wanted to say. And then she had the gall to criticize my fromage d'Affinois. Quelle salope!
Point being, although I have played the "I lived in France recently" card on some people to boost my cheese cred, sometimes it doesn't work. And when I do, that just leads to the customer telling me endless stories about hir latest vacation, and the country house they rented in Provence or wherever, and the charming little restaurant they found, and how much they loved everything, and the French really know how to appreciate life, don't you think? Yes, okay, they do, but they are also whiny and racist and unemployed, and I don't really have any enthralling stories to tell you about my time there, so let me just wrap up your Bucherondin (which I can pronounce and you can't, sucka) and send you on your way.
And much as I'd like to fake a French accent, my boss is actually French, and customers know her. (When I work cheese, usually at least three people (usually men) come by and ask if she's there. No, she's not. You're stuck with me. Oh, you don't actually want to buy anything? I see how it is.) Plus, my French accent is terrible, whether speaking French or English. I'm convinced that knowing French got me this job, because I mentioned it on the Craigslist resume that the store manager responded to, and because I have no other credentials. But, I've got enough deceit and cheese types to keep track of without adding an accent to the mix.
Me: Hello, can I help you with anything?
Customer: Thanks, I'm just trying to decide...
Me: Okay, just let me know if you'd like to sample anything.
Customer: Well, I lived in France for ten years, so I think I know what all these are like.
Me: Whoa, okay, lady, not all good cheeses are from France, and I lived there, too, so don't get snarky with me.
Oh, sorry--that's what I wanted to say. And then she had the gall to criticize my fromage d'Affinois. Quelle salope!
Point being, although I have played the "I lived in France recently" card on some people to boost my cheese cred, sometimes it doesn't work. And when I do, that just leads to the customer telling me endless stories about hir latest vacation, and the country house they rented in Provence or wherever, and the charming little restaurant they found, and how much they loved everything, and the French really know how to appreciate life, don't you think? Yes, okay, they do, but they are also whiny and racist and unemployed, and I don't really have any enthralling stories to tell you about my time there, so let me just wrap up your Bucherondin (which I can pronounce and you can't, sucka) and send you on your way.
And much as I'd like to fake a French accent, my boss is actually French, and customers know her. (When I work cheese, usually at least three people (usually men) come by and ask if she's there. No, she's not. You're stuck with me. Oh, you don't actually want to buy anything? I see how it is.) Plus, my French accent is terrible, whether speaking French or English. I'm convinced that knowing French got me this job, because I mentioned it on the Craigslist resume that the store manager responded to, and because I have no other credentials. But, I've got enough deceit and cheese types to keep track of without adding an accent to the mix.