My Afternoon Jacket
My work uniform is black shoes, black pants, a black cap, and a white chef's jacket like this one. Sometimes I button it all the way up; sometimes I leave the top one undone because it's totally style. The closest I come to actually cooking while wearing this chef's jacket is making coleslaw (Recipe: 1. Open plastic bag of pre-shredded green cabbage, and smaller enclosed bags of pre-shredded carrots and red cabbage. 2. Mix with dressing. 3. Place in bowl in deli case).
To earn the honor of wearing my jacket, I try to get it as messy as possible throughout the course of the day. Then I can pretend that I am a Busy, Hard-Working Chef--I don't have time to change my gloves, I have so much Legitimate Cooking to do! So I'm just going to wipe this Tomato Bisque on my Jacket. I am also going to stick Labels that Printed Accidentally on my Jacket--I don't have time to throw them away! Besides, I don't care about my Personal Appearance, because as a Dedicated Chef, I'm only interested in the Food. And because the Cut of this Jacket does Nothing for my Figure, so it's a Lost Cause Anyway.
The jacket also lends credibility to the other pretends that I do at work, like Pretend that-I-know-anything-about-cheese, Pretend that-our-deli-food-is-made-in-the-store, and, my personal favorite, Pretend that-I-am-too-busy-doing-chef-stuff-to-help-you,-even-if-"chef stuff"-looks-like-"chatting with my co-workers."
To earn the honor of wearing my jacket, I try to get it as messy as possible throughout the course of the day. Then I can pretend that I am a Busy, Hard-Working Chef--I don't have time to change my gloves, I have so much Legitimate Cooking to do! So I'm just going to wipe this Tomato Bisque on my Jacket. I am also going to stick Labels that Printed Accidentally on my Jacket--I don't have time to throw them away! Besides, I don't care about my Personal Appearance, because as a Dedicated Chef, I'm only interested in the Food. And because the Cut of this Jacket does Nothing for my Figure, so it's a Lost Cause Anyway.
The jacket also lends credibility to the other pretends that I do at work, like Pretend that-I-know-anything-about-cheese, Pretend that-our-deli-food-is-made-in-the-store, and, my personal favorite, Pretend that-I-am-too-busy-doing-chef-stuff-to-help-you,-even-if-"chef stuff"-looks-like-"chatting with my co-workers."