sick and tired of being sick and tired
i think for the rest of my life im going to be the kind of person that makes everything seem 10 times worse in my head. anytihng that goes wrong with osmetihng that i care about becomes a disaster in my head. i think that is mainly due to my extreme insecurities..but also to the fact that thats just the kind of person i am. everything seems so inconquerable bc i make it that way. i hold on to good times and feel meloncholy whenver something bad happens. thats why i cant let todd go. thats why i always think the worst when someone doesnt pick up the phone for me. im just that kind of person.
i dont think todd and i have talked for more than 3 days without fighting for the past two months. honestly. it was a dream i had that was terribly flawed and fell away. thats all. it was never meant to be so fuck it. now why i cant i just walk away?
honestly im just tired of talking about him. im tired of feeling this way and letting him know i feel this way. im tired of people like ben who are down as fuck but when it comes to a situation like tonight prove themselves to be completely fake and stupid.
FUCK MIAMI. JUST PLEASE GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO LET GO.
i dont think todd and i have talked for more than 3 days without fighting for the past two months. honestly. it was a dream i had that was terribly flawed and fell away. thats all. it was never meant to be so fuck it. now why i cant i just walk away?
honestly im just tired of talking about him. im tired of feeling this way and letting him know i feel this way. im tired of people like ben who are down as fuck but when it comes to a situation like tonight prove themselves to be completely fake and stupid.
FUCK MIAMI. JUST PLEASE GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO LET GO.