(no subject)
for as long as i can remember i have felt like a sinking ship.
even during times when everything is going well i feel deep down as though the water is about to flood over and pull me under. i cannot catch my breath. inevitably i am pulled under.
i felt as though i were a sinking ship - that anyone coming close to me would be pulled under with me, destroyed. it has played out time and time again - against all protestations and warnings, those who come close to me invariably end up hurt, broken.
my flares have gone unseen. my creaking and breaking apart has not been enough to dissuade people from approaching me. try as i might they do not stay away and after they are gone the strangest thing is that i am not sunk - i have not moved - i find myself in the exact same place i have always felt myself to be.
i am not a sinking ship. i do not slowly plunge beneath the water's surface. encircled by those i have injured as they slowly float away from me, i cannot warn others off from their doom. i am their ruin. coldly i stand by as they invariably fall back into the surrounding mist. no, i am not a sinking ship - i am the fucking iceberg.
even during times when everything is going well i feel deep down as though the water is about to flood over and pull me under. i cannot catch my breath. inevitably i am pulled under.
i felt as though i were a sinking ship - that anyone coming close to me would be pulled under with me, destroyed. it has played out time and time again - against all protestations and warnings, those who come close to me invariably end up hurt, broken.
my flares have gone unseen. my creaking and breaking apart has not been enough to dissuade people from approaching me. try as i might they do not stay away and after they are gone the strangest thing is that i am not sunk - i have not moved - i find myself in the exact same place i have always felt myself to be.
i am not a sinking ship. i do not slowly plunge beneath the water's surface. encircled by those i have injured as they slowly float away from me, i cannot warn others off from their doom. i am their ruin. coldly i stand by as they invariably fall back into the surrounding mist. no, i am not a sinking ship - i am the fucking iceberg.