"I was hoping the feeling of you looking at me was simply the fear of you looking over."

[e0l8g]

Thoughts of the past flooded my mind without mercy,
falling one by one from my eyes
and burning my skin as they tumble down the sides of my face.
I think I have things figured out
Yet I know I don't.
How does one justify their heart with their head?
Or their head with their heart?
The direction I seem to walk points toward "right"
What if I wanted to go "left" for a change?
Take a chance that stares me down
Or make a change that was least expected.
I'm far from what I seem
And the complications just grow deeper as I dig.
How does one conclude a life
Before knowing where to start?
Before understanding themselves?
I wouldn't question the stars
If they were able to explain themselves.
I wouldn't have a skepticism of the ocean
If it could tell me all it's secrets.
I wouldn't question myself
If I could convince the world.

And so what am I left with?
The...
useless
ineffective
hopeless
inadequate
worthless
uneasy
anxious
nervous
troubled
uncomfortable
edgy
apprehensive
tense
dejected
disheartened
weary
drained
fatigued

self.
I wouldn't question my footsteps
If I knew I was walking where I wished.

I'm tired.