Black Like Me
All Sta 00 (10:17:25 PM): what are you up to?
La Doctress (10:18:53 PM): about to make an entry about dude who tried to challenge my blackness lol
All Sta 00 (10:19:04 PM): lol ::smh::
All Sta 00 (10:19:52 PM): mofo must've been Malcolm X himself :-\
La Doctress (10:20:33 PM): LOL!
La Doctress (10:20:40 PM): not at ALL
La Doctress (10:20:55 PM): dude does not know who Assata Shakur is!!
All Sta 00 (10:21:04 PM): "Tupac's momma?" :-[
All Sta 00 (10:21:07 PM): LOL :-X
La Doctress (10:21:07 PM): talkin bout "is she Tupac's mom??"
La Doctress (10:21:11 PM): LOL YES!!
All Sta 00 (10:21:13 PM): LOLLLLLLLL
All Sta 00 (10:21:18 PM): ::SMH!::
lol So this dude at my job really tried to play me! It's hilarious though. First let's go back a few months....
Idiot: Yeah, I really need to get my reading up.
Eb: Oh, have you ever read the autobiography of Assata Shakur?
Moron: Nah.
Eb: Oh ok. I can bring it in for you. I'll let you borrow it.
Estupido: Ok... Is Tupac in it?
Eb: *seriously bewildered for a minute* Ummm... nah. I think you're thinking of Afeni Shakur. I'm talkin' about Assata Shakur.
Just Dumb: Ok. Ok. Is Tupac mentioned in it though?
People..... I WISH I was exagerrating or lying!! Is he serious? Does he really NEED Pac in this book? Has he even HEARD of the Black Panthers?!?! Needless to say, I did not lend this fool my book.
So fast forward to yesterday. Dude came in. And I've never outright not liked him (til yesterday lol), but I always felt he was sneaky. The type of person that is constantly trying to get one over on you. He never does, but he *thinks* he does. Like the type of person to ask for a pen. You loan him a pen and he thinks he's "gamed" you or some shit (that hasn't exactly happened, but it's a good example of his personality). Basically cocky and believing he's way more slick than he really is. So again, yesterday he comes in and first he tries to play another co-worker. Here's the convo...
Her: I saw Cristina the other day.
Me: Yeah, I saw her last week. She came in to pick up her last check.
Her: *more randomness about Cristina, then* You know, it took me a while to realize that all the times she treated me she was being reimbursed by YAP. I just thought she was really nice. *chuckles*
Him: What?! How could you NOT know that?
Her: No, I'm just saying, I didn't know at first.
Him: But come on, it's common sense. You think someone is really that nice?
Me: Uuuhhhh, someone *could* be that nice.
Her: You know? It's not that serious.
Me: He's sitting here trying to look so smart. "WHHOOAA How could you NOT know that?!?! I'm SO SMART!!!"
Him: I'm not sayin all that, but how generous do you think someone is?
Me: It's not like she was giving out lobster dinners or anything. These aren't cashmere sweaters. We're talkin about lunch here and there.
Her: Yeah and I said I figured it out after a while.
I didn't take it that seriously, but after the fact I realized I prolly hurt his pride. lol Plus since he thinks he's so clever with his lil insults. I guess it really got to him that I called him on tryna seem so smart and trynna play her. So him and I continue for like 2 hours! Just stupid lil petty ass arguments. Including him starting some madness about intelligence and how it relates to immigrants (I'm still failing to make the connection =/ ). And him, at some point, saying something to the effect of "I'm not even gonna embarrass you like that. I'm not gonna say it. I don't want to hurt your feelings... blablahblah... you might get suicidal." o.0!!!! Whoa. WOW! PLEASE get the fuck over yourself!! You really need to realize how insignificant you are in my world! So at some point he starts talkin about checks. He didn't get one because he didn't do his paperwork last week (LOL!). So he's tight about not getting a check (and of course because earlier I called him out). Then we have this exchange...
Ass: So Eb, how the check lookin'?
Eb: Huh? What check? Yours? It's lookin blank 'cause you don't have one.
Dick: No, how's yours lookin?
Eb: Huh? How's it lookin?
Bitch: You don't understand that? Do you hang out around a lot of white people?
Folks..... I seriously could not reply. The notion of a muthafucka who replied "is Tupac in it?" when I offered up Assata's autobio challengin ME on MY blackness was too much for me to handle. And then him thinking that I didn't understand him (when I'd clearly understood the same question two seconds prior). And then him basing THIS as a lithmus test of my blackness. lol I could not compute. I went blank! I just chuckled and kept saying "absolutely." This is proof positive that stupid is contagious.
Oh and the amount of the wouldbe check he was nuttin up about? It was for one and a half hours!! 1.5, folks! You can't make this shit up!!! It was for a staff meeting he attended which was from 5:30 to 7. And for real, he showed up LATE to the shit! And normally I'm not even anal like that, but he was such a dick that when he handed in his paperwork with 5:30 to 7, I nicely crossed out the 5:30 and put in 6 (and for real, he may have gotten in later than 6). So he had a titty attack over what will end up being an $11.50 check BEFORE taxes! Maaaaaaaaannnn. I'm cracking up and he hasn't gotten the check yet!
Moral: don't fuck with the lady who handles payroll.
La Doctress (10:18:53 PM): about to make an entry about dude who tried to challenge my blackness lol
All Sta 00 (10:19:04 PM): lol ::smh::
All Sta 00 (10:19:52 PM): mofo must've been Malcolm X himself :-\
La Doctress (10:20:33 PM): LOL!
La Doctress (10:20:40 PM): not at ALL
La Doctress (10:20:55 PM): dude does not know who Assata Shakur is!!
All Sta 00 (10:21:04 PM): "Tupac's momma?" :-[
All Sta 00 (10:21:07 PM): LOL :-X
La Doctress (10:21:07 PM): talkin bout "is she Tupac's mom??"
La Doctress (10:21:11 PM): LOL YES!!
All Sta 00 (10:21:13 PM): LOLLLLLLLL
All Sta 00 (10:21:18 PM): ::SMH!::
lol So this dude at my job really tried to play me! It's hilarious though. First let's go back a few months....
Idiot: Yeah, I really need to get my reading up.
Eb: Oh, have you ever read the autobiography of Assata Shakur?
Moron: Nah.
Eb: Oh ok. I can bring it in for you. I'll let you borrow it.
Estupido: Ok... Is Tupac in it?
Eb: *seriously bewildered for a minute* Ummm... nah. I think you're thinking of Afeni Shakur. I'm talkin' about Assata Shakur.
Just Dumb: Ok. Ok. Is Tupac mentioned in it though?
People..... I WISH I was exagerrating or lying!! Is he serious? Does he really NEED Pac in this book? Has he even HEARD of the Black Panthers?!?! Needless to say, I did not lend this fool my book.
So fast forward to yesterday. Dude came in. And I've never outright not liked him (til yesterday lol), but I always felt he was sneaky. The type of person that is constantly trying to get one over on you. He never does, but he *thinks* he does. Like the type of person to ask for a pen. You loan him a pen and he thinks he's "gamed" you or some shit (that hasn't exactly happened, but it's a good example of his personality). Basically cocky and believing he's way more slick than he really is. So again, yesterday he comes in and first he tries to play another co-worker. Here's the convo...
Her: I saw Cristina the other day.
Me: Yeah, I saw her last week. She came in to pick up her last check.
Her: *more randomness about Cristina, then* You know, it took me a while to realize that all the times she treated me she was being reimbursed by YAP. I just thought she was really nice. *chuckles*
Him: What?! How could you NOT know that?
Her: No, I'm just saying, I didn't know at first.
Him: But come on, it's common sense. You think someone is really that nice?
Me: Uuuhhhh, someone *could* be that nice.
Her: You know? It's not that serious.
Me: He's sitting here trying to look so smart. "WHHOOAA How could you NOT know that?!?! I'm SO SMART!!!"
Him: I'm not sayin all that, but how generous do you think someone is?
Me: It's not like she was giving out lobster dinners or anything. These aren't cashmere sweaters. We're talkin about lunch here and there.
Her: Yeah and I said I figured it out after a while.
I didn't take it that seriously, but after the fact I realized I prolly hurt his pride. lol Plus since he thinks he's so clever with his lil insults. I guess it really got to him that I called him on tryna seem so smart and trynna play her. So him and I continue for like 2 hours! Just stupid lil petty ass arguments. Including him starting some madness about intelligence and how it relates to immigrants (I'm still failing to make the connection =/ ). And him, at some point, saying something to the effect of "I'm not even gonna embarrass you like that. I'm not gonna say it. I don't want to hurt your feelings... blablahblah... you might get suicidal." o.0!!!! Whoa. WOW! PLEASE get the fuck over yourself!! You really need to realize how insignificant you are in my world! So at some point he starts talkin about checks. He didn't get one because he didn't do his paperwork last week (LOL!). So he's tight about not getting a check (and of course because earlier I called him out). Then we have this exchange...
Ass: So Eb, how the check lookin'?
Eb: Huh? What check? Yours? It's lookin blank 'cause you don't have one.
Dick: No, how's yours lookin?
Eb: Huh? How's it lookin?
Bitch: You don't understand that? Do you hang out around a lot of white people?
Folks..... I seriously could not reply. The notion of a muthafucka who replied "is Tupac in it?" when I offered up Assata's autobio challengin ME on MY blackness was too much for me to handle. And then him thinking that I didn't understand him (when I'd clearly understood the same question two seconds prior). And then him basing THIS as a lithmus test of my blackness. lol I could not compute. I went blank! I just chuckled and kept saying "absolutely." This is proof positive that stupid is contagious.
Oh and the amount of the wouldbe check he was nuttin up about? It was for one and a half hours!! 1.5, folks! You can't make this shit up!!! It was for a staff meeting he attended which was from 5:30 to 7. And for real, he showed up LATE to the shit! And normally I'm not even anal like that, but he was such a dick that when he handed in his paperwork with 5:30 to 7, I nicely crossed out the 5:30 and put in 6 (and for real, he may have gotten in later than 6). So he had a titty attack over what will end up being an $11.50 check BEFORE taxes! Maaaaaaaaannnn. I'm cracking up and he hasn't gotten the check yet!
Moral: don't fuck with the lady who handles payroll.