(no subject)
being alone is what i want right now...complete isolation...
just me, a couple packs of marlboro and a few bottles of liquor...
in a place where i can do my thing...without having to think of the people surrounding me...
without having to think of the future nor the past...
just me, now and this moment...
i'll drink like there's no tomorrow without worrying of not being able to do my tasks the following day due to a hang-over...
i'll dance the day/night away...
i'll walk in circles naked...
no worrying of what food to cook for mah two bebehs...
no worrying of where to get money to buy them stuff..
no burden of what to tell my parents evrytimee i mess up...
no masks to be worn...
no need for me to be tough and strong for others' convenience...
no need to be the mom of all moms...
i just want to be me, with me and by me...
no outer force...
just me...
i can cry freely and openly...weep for joy and sadness all at the same time...
i can act as crazy as i want...
do things my way without worries...
do my pieces in utter isolation with extreme passion...
eat my veggies without having to explain to people why i suddenly chose to adapt to a vegetarian diet...
and still smoke and drink all at the same time...
no voices around me telling me what i should do and be...
no advices...i don't need any...
i just want to do my thing...my way...
no nagging from a sister deamnding you to cook rice and serve them food...
no need to put a straight and empathic face to people who ask for help...advices...
no need to put up a show that i can deal with everything...
that i don't feel emotions...
to celebrate life the way i want to...
to not worry of what course i should finish...
no mind boggling thoughts of whether i should pursue architecture or not...
just drinking and smoking, doing my thing...naked...in extreme isolation...
in the presence of my lover...my one and only SEA...
ahh...to dance under the radiance of the moon...to play with the treacherous specie...
to feel ecstacy and mind blowing pleasure...
then...when all is well, when i feel rejuvinated and composed...when i get contented...
i go back to YOUR reality...
i'll be strong and tough once more and continue playing my role as a shock absorber and as a mom to all...
i will again decipher on my future...
i will again think of ways to earn...
i will again face the people and explain to them 'bout my being a vegetarian...
i will again continue my struggle to stop smoking...
i'll fix my life and live it in a way that will not worry my parents...
in a way that i can be of help to mah bebehs, sisters and brothers...
in a way that i can give the 'right' moral support to friends...
i will again be the "ME" people percieve me to be...
and all will be well...
i've given myself the opportunity to make love with lunacy...
now, i'm willing to make love ceaselessly with YOUR REALITY.
just me, a couple packs of marlboro and a few bottles of liquor...
in a place where i can do my thing...without having to think of the people surrounding me...
without having to think of the future nor the past...
just me, now and this moment...
i'll drink like there's no tomorrow without worrying of not being able to do my tasks the following day due to a hang-over...
i'll dance the day/night away...
i'll walk in circles naked...
no worrying of what food to cook for mah two bebehs...
no worrying of where to get money to buy them stuff..
no burden of what to tell my parents evrytimee i mess up...
no masks to be worn...
no need for me to be tough and strong for others' convenience...
no need to be the mom of all moms...
i just want to be me, with me and by me...
no outer force...
just me...
i can cry freely and openly...weep for joy and sadness all at the same time...
i can act as crazy as i want...
do things my way without worries...
do my pieces in utter isolation with extreme passion...
eat my veggies without having to explain to people why i suddenly chose to adapt to a vegetarian diet...
and still smoke and drink all at the same time...
no voices around me telling me what i should do and be...
no advices...i don't need any...
i just want to do my thing...my way...
no nagging from a sister deamnding you to cook rice and serve them food...
no need to put a straight and empathic face to people who ask for help...advices...
no need to put up a show that i can deal with everything...
that i don't feel emotions...
to celebrate life the way i want to...
to not worry of what course i should finish...
no mind boggling thoughts of whether i should pursue architecture or not...
just drinking and smoking, doing my thing...naked...in extreme isolation...
in the presence of my lover...my one and only SEA...
ahh...to dance under the radiance of the moon...to play with the treacherous specie...
to feel ecstacy and mind blowing pleasure...
then...when all is well, when i feel rejuvinated and composed...when i get contented...
i go back to YOUR reality...
i'll be strong and tough once more and continue playing my role as a shock absorber and as a mom to all...
i will again decipher on my future...
i will again think of ways to earn...
i will again face the people and explain to them 'bout my being a vegetarian...
i will again continue my struggle to stop smoking...
i'll fix my life and live it in a way that will not worry my parents...
in a way that i can be of help to mah bebehs, sisters and brothers...
in a way that i can give the 'right' moral support to friends...
i will again be the "ME" people percieve me to be...
and all will be well...
i've given myself the opportunity to make love with lunacy...
now, i'm willing to make love ceaselessly with YOUR REALITY.