and so what happened....
So now the world, (or just me) will never know if I would have gone through with it. If anyone out there is wondering what the exiting conclusion to the Sugardaddie/Roger situation was, here it is: I was messaging him on my computer, Blake was nearby. I really didn't know what do to, so I asked him what I should type. I told Roger that I would go over to his house (possibly with my stalker friend Angel, who I have never met, but will eventually) and do what ever he wanted. But he had to give me $400.00 up front. At first, he seemed like he was going to go for it. Then he said, thats not how he wanted it, and he couldn't believe I was that kind of girl, he thought I was sweet and innocent, etc. etc. blah blah blah. And he said no, and that was that. I would never have put it all so directly, but that is how Blake is. But who does Roger think he is to think he can get some young, hot woman to be really turned on by him physically, when he is totally out of shape and not hot, and for her to fall in love with him instantly and be his sexual plaything? How unrealistic can you get?
Anyway..... all my job searches are so frustrating. I got dressed up and headed into town today and then half way there got the phone message that my job appt. had been canceled, until wed. I called blue hawaiian, and they said they are doing interviews for another week until they can give me any more information. I don't know if I was bugging them too much by calling twice, or what. I'm so confused.... when I'm in Kona, it seems as if I should be there. When I'm in Hilo, I feel like I should stay put and try to make it work. Even with my rent being so low, commuting from Nanewale to Hilo is crazy on gas and time. It would make more sence finantially to move into a cheep place in Hilo and save my self the gas, time, and where and tear on my car. But if I'm going to take the time, money and effort to move, then why not go directly to where all the jobs really are: kona? I don't know what to do. I can't believe I've been unemployed this long. I've let myself become nothing but distracted. There are so many options, I don't know what to focus on anymore.
I am waiting on a call right now from Vancy, the cute lesbian that lives up past Wymea. I think I'm going to drive up to see her tonight or tomorrow and hang out at some all day festival going on up there. I feels weird to not be around Blake right now, but I'm sure it's better to just separate myself from him if I can. I'm addicted to him in a bad way. And its the most pointless, stupid addiction/attraction ever. When I think about it objectively, I couldn't have possibly choosen a worse person to be with right now. SOme one who is leaving in two weeks, who has no education, carreer, money, and who's goal in life is to have sex with as many woman as possible on this planet. Good one Heather. I needed someone to smack me up side the head for that weeks ago, but the only person I am close to out here is him. Arg!
Anyway..... all my job searches are so frustrating. I got dressed up and headed into town today and then half way there got the phone message that my job appt. had been canceled, until wed. I called blue hawaiian, and they said they are doing interviews for another week until they can give me any more information. I don't know if I was bugging them too much by calling twice, or what. I'm so confused.... when I'm in Kona, it seems as if I should be there. When I'm in Hilo, I feel like I should stay put and try to make it work. Even with my rent being so low, commuting from Nanewale to Hilo is crazy on gas and time. It would make more sence finantially to move into a cheep place in Hilo and save my self the gas, time, and where and tear on my car. But if I'm going to take the time, money and effort to move, then why not go directly to where all the jobs really are: kona? I don't know what to do. I can't believe I've been unemployed this long. I've let myself become nothing but distracted. There are so many options, I don't know what to focus on anymore.
I am waiting on a call right now from Vancy, the cute lesbian that lives up past Wymea. I think I'm going to drive up to see her tonight or tomorrow and hang out at some all day festival going on up there. I feels weird to not be around Blake right now, but I'm sure it's better to just separate myself from him if I can. I'm addicted to him in a bad way. And its the most pointless, stupid addiction/attraction ever. When I think about it objectively, I couldn't have possibly choosen a worse person to be with right now. SOme one who is leaving in two weeks, who has no education, carreer, money, and who's goal in life is to have sex with as many woman as possible on this planet. Good one Heather. I needed someone to smack me up side the head for that weeks ago, but the only person I am close to out here is him. Arg!