What Words Can't Do [3/4]
Title:What Words Can't Do [3/4]
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Kai/Kyungsoo
Word Count: 12,292
Warning: Sexy times...but not really? Almost sexy times.
Disclaimer: I am so cheesy. Sorry.
Summary: Things are always the same for Kai. Day after day, his life has been the same for as long as he could remember. The physiciatric ward he grew up in the only place he has ever known, Kai is stuck in the vicisious cycle of routine, everything uniform and immutable. Until the arrival of his new nurse, Do Kyungsoo. And suddenly things aren't so predictiable or unchanging, and they are definitely not the same.
The car ride to Seoul was about a hundred times more awkward than Kyungsoo had anticipated. He had been excepting Kai’s cold shoulder and aloof demeanor, but if th wasn't d enough, Sehun had decided (because I haven’t been to the city in a while, he had said, but the truth was so obvious it was laughable) to tag along, and so now Kyungsoo was stuck in the back seat of Luhan’s navy blue Hyundai with Kai. Luhan was driving and Sehun sat in the passenger seat, failing (Well excuse me, there are just so many damn lines on this thing! Sehun had interjected) to give directions, even with a G and ap. Luhan, probably just trying to be polite (or just to break the stifling silence) attempted to make feeble conversation, which eventually just died off when he realized he was mostly talking to himself, and Sehun gave a small awkward cough every now for similar reason
Kai faced out the window; his head leaned against the glass as he took in the scenery that blurred by. Kyungsoo wondered what Kai thought of it all, because he knew that the boy had no recollection of these new things that he was seeing. He wants to ask him, and wants to explain things to him; he wants to help Kai see the world, and have him become apart of it, but before he can actually muster any courage to say anything, their fight from the previous night stops him, and then he is thinking about Kai’s sketchpad, which he had managed to put back before Kai had noticed. Kyungsoo knew what he had done wrong, and he knew that he needed to fix this. But he was afraid; Afraid that he would mess up again, and make things worse, and the last thing he wanted was Kim Jongin to be even colder and more unforgiving, as if they really were nothing more than a nurse and a patient. He thinks a bit, and he stares out his window, through the slightly tinted glass to look at the clear skies billows of clouds scattered throughout, open fields of short patchy grass and the open countryside that lay beyond it, all looking a little grayer, a little damper than usual, but maybe it’s just the glass. His thoughts begin to drift, and Kyungsoo hates it because he always ends up thinking about things he doesn’t want to, and then he starts feeling things he hates, and then he slips into that place he hates because it’s so hard to get back, to pull himself out, to stop himself from slipping awa
He is a torrent of feelings, swirling emotions of sadness and anger, mostly self-directed, and he is at a loss.
If only there were words he could use to explain to Kim Jongin how he was feeling, how sorry he was and how much he meant to him, and how he would never leave his side, and that he never meant it from the beginning, because there wasn’t a thing that Kyungsoo would ever hide from Kim Jongin or Kai, because…
Well, because he loved hi
He blushes a little at the realization and suddenly he is kind of glad that Kai wasn’t facing him.
Words can’t help him right now, so he decides he won’t use his words this time-no, he would have to show Kim Jongin, he would have to do what words can’t, no matter how painful it may be for himself.
It’s with this resolve that Kyungsoo finally leans over to Sehun, beckoning for him to lean closer, secret hopes and plans leaving his mouth in small little whisper
Kai continues to pretend that he is staring out the window, as if he hadn’t noticed the small movement in his peripheral view, and that he wasn’t just a little jealous at how close Sehun was leaning to Kyungsoo.
**
Kai finally faces Kyungsoo for the first time since getting into the car. Kai was fully convinced now that Sehun was physically incapable of reading the map, because not only had they taken an unusually long rest stop break (what were they doing up there!?), but they had managed to stray way off the main road: they had turned onto a very secluded dirt road, one that had trees leaning down at every edge, their branches making a beautiful arch down the road, and with no one else on the small road, it was very peaceful. They had finally stopped when they reached a clearing, where Luhan stopped the car and parked it.
This certainly wasn’t Seoul, that much Kai knew.
“Where are we?” his voice slightly hoarse from the elongated silence.
Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything but “Close your eyes.”
**
“Ok, now, open them.” Kyungsoo lets go out of Kai’s wrist, which he had been holding onto so he could lead him down the rough path, untouched by humans and littered with sticks, twigs and stones of various size
Kai slowly opens his eyes, lifting each lid a little bit at a tim
“I brought you to meet my parents.&rdqu
Kai fully opens his eyes upon he hearing this.
Two marble slabs lay in front of him, both identical in size and shape, the only difference being the named carved into its smooth dark surface. The graves are in pretty decent conditon, despite the little weeds growing at their bases, and it seems like it has been a while since has been there, years maybe. The withered remains of flowers from the last visitor lay in front of them, and Kyungsoo picks them up and replaces them with a fresh new batch of flowers-these ones a vibrant purple and a deep crimson- that were very much alive and healthy. Kyungsoo then gets down onto his knees as he begins to pay homage to the people who had brought him into this cruel world, and then proceeded to leave him helplessly alone.
This is the first time Kai has understood what “awkward” actually meant as he towered over Kyungsoo, watching him pay his respects, unsure if he should join him, curious as to what happened, confused as to why Kyungsoo hadn&rsquo just said so the first place, but mostly, he is sad. Sad because the thought of Kyungsoo being alone made his heartache, and it hurt him to think that Kyungsoo was painfully similar to him in many ways. Somewhere in the mix with the sadness, Jongin feels guilty because he had been so selfish, because he had only thought of himself. He couldn’t help it, because he hated that word, the one that always came with empty promises and false pretenses and sorrowful goodbyes. He thought he could handle hearing it now, so long as it wasn’t from Kyungsoo. Anybody but Kyungsoo, he had panicked at the thought the night that Kyungsoo had said it, his sleeping pills doing nothing to suppress the nightmares that came over him; Kyungsoo flashing him a well painted smile, speaking gentle words with absolutely no meaning but filled with intent and manipulation, and Kai woke up panting, sweat matting tufts of his hair to his face, the image of Kyungsoo’s slender figure vanishing down the never ending grey hallway engrained in his mind…
And now the nightmares don’t seem so bad as he thinks about Kyungsoo being just like Jongin, except with nobody to even pretend to care for him, even if it always just a lie. Jongin never had anything to begin with, so he never had anything to loose. Kyungsoo may have had something he never did, but Kyungsoo had to live through the pain of loosing it too, it dawns on Jongi
Jongin wants to say something to Kyungsoo, to tell him h he uld be his family now, how he wou never ave his side, how he would give him everything he had before, and more. But the words never come to him, and Jongin acknowledges that it was something no words could ever express, because he finally had somebody who gave his life meaning, and gave him something worth living for, somebody who gave him an existence beyond the solid brick walls of the place he called home&helli
Jongin finally reach his solve, and for once, the always happy and innocent Kai, does to
**
When Kyungsoo is finally done, he stands up, brushing off the grass that sticks to his slacks. Kai hasn’t said anything since they have gotten here, but Kyungsoo doesn’t mind because he understands that there isn’t much to be said.
Kyungsoo is feeling a little better now, and visiting his parent’s grave doesn’t leave him as bitter as it used to when they had first died. The last time he had been there was almost 4 years ago, and he had only visited once since the rainy June day of their funeral, to which next to nobody showed up to because everybody was “busy”, or they weren’t “around”, leaving Kyungsoo and a few other close family friends to show up. When they all left, Kyungsoo had collapsed in a heap on the ground, uncaring if anybody saw, sobs ripping out of his chest as he realized he was the sad remains of what was once a family. He had been almost done with high school then, so his relatives had made no effort to try and take care of the boy, because he would be “going to college soon, I’m sure he can take care of himself until then.”
“I’m sorry.&rdqu
Kyungsoo breaks out of his daze and looks at Kai.
Kai is looking at him now, his normal playfulness gone, instead replaced by a seriousness that Kyungsoo had never seen in Kai before. Kai takes a few steps toward Kyungsoo, closing the distance. He is standing about a foot from the nurse, and he looks him dead in the eye and says it again, “I’m sorry.&rdqu
Kyungsoo isn’t sure if he’s apologizing for his parents or for their figh
“You don’t nee-&rdqu
Kai cuts him off as he begins his own rant, his voice cracking with emotion, “I’m sorry for all the pain you’ve had, I’m sorry for all the loneliness you’ve ever felt, I’m sorry for those sleepless nights, I’m sorry for all those tears you’ve shed, I’m sorry for you having to take care of me, because I know that I’m not always the easiest to take care and I’m sorry that I’m always so selfish, always demanding this and that out of you, I’m sorry that I’ve made your life harder, and that I take up all your time, so that you can never do the things you want to, and that you never have free time because your stuck taking care of a cra-”
“Kai, Kai, Stop.” Kyungsoo grabs Kai by his shoulders, as if this would physically stop the boy from continuing. Kai’s words die on his lips as he waits for Kyungsoo to speak.
“Don’t apologize to me about anything. I have never regretted a single minute I have spent with you, even if you are selfish, and demanding, and ridiculous.” Kai rolls his eyes. “There is nowhere else I would rather be, and there is nobody else I would rather be with. And besides, I would spend any free time I had with you anyways. I love my job again, I love going to work again, and I love knowing that everyday I will get to see you, and I love-, er, well, I love you.” This time it’s Kyungsoo’s words that die, and he is flushed an embarrassing shade of pink.
Kai takes a minute to process everything his nurse had just said, before his eyes widen a little in surprise, shining with that life Kyungsoo had seen in certain Kim Jongin’s patient file. Jongin breaks into the most beautiful smile that Kyungsoo has ever seen, so that he can’t help but smile right back at Jongin.
There is no more distance between the two when Kai envelops Kyungsoo in his arms, and Kyungsoo is glad to see that Kai's heart is racing, just like Kyungsoo'
“I love you too.” Kai pulls back a little so he can look at Kyungsoo’s face when he says it, and Kyungsoo’s blush is spreading across his face, cheeks flaming. Damn, he was so cute when he was like this, Kai thinks as he leans down toward him.
Kyungsoo buries his head into Kai’s shoulder to hide his face, and they stay like this for a little bit, not saying anything, the silence comfortable and swee
They turn their heads when they hear a gagging noise, and Sehun and Luhan are walking toward them; Sehun shakes his head in disgust at the embracing couple and Luhan smiles in adoration.
“Have you no shame, doing this right in front of your mother and father, Kyungsoo? They’re probably turning in their graves.&rdqu
“I think it’s cute!~” Luhan counters, smiling up at Sehun, as if waiting for him to agree.
“Oh?” Sehun tries not to look interested, keeping his voice monotone.
Luhan nods enthusiastically and continues, “Yes, it’s so romantic! I love romantic things. Like long walks on the beach, or candle lit dinners, or couple shirts. Stuff like that."
Sehun nods silently, taking mental notes, minus the couple shirts because, ew, couple shirts, how tacky, (but how typical for Luhan) even if they were “just” friends, and he is about to say something else, when he cuts off abruptl
“EWW, GET A ROOM”, he shrieks at the couple, who had went from to a sweet embrace to full blown making out, little squeaks of pleasure leaving their mouths, seemingly forgetting that Luhan and Sehun were still there, watching them, having to witness something that was a little to intimate for public eyes, and certainly not appropriate for the graves of Kyungsoo’s parent
Luhan blushes and awkwardly turns away to give them privacy, secondhand embarrassment getting the best of him, and Kyungsoo breaks apart from Kai panting, laughing at the misfortune of their spectators, and Kai smirks, as if to say “this is just the beginning…”
**
A drop lands on Kai’s cheek and he pats his face, looking up, and sees that it’s just starting to sprinkle. They have just pulled up into the place where they will be staying, and it was truly a dump. Kai isn’t fazed by it, because his world has always been white linen sheets, plastic bed frames and stiff beds. This new scenery was nice, the change was nice and he didn’t even mind the horrible stench of cheap cigarettes and alcohol, the dingy lighting and the piss filled bathroom, because it was unlike anything he had ever seen before. Kyungsoo watches in amusement as Kai marvels over the littlest of things, while trying to hold his own disgust because their room was filthy, and obviously not meant for a 4 night stay. Of course, Sehun can’t read a map OR choose a decent hotel, Kyungsoo sighs bitterly.
Sehun helps them bring their luggage into their room, and after making a snide remark about keeping things in their pants if they can, and how he will be seeing them in 4 days, he and Luhan leave to go do whatever they were going to d
Kyungsoo finally looks around the room and realizes that there is only one bed.
That means…he would have to share a bed with Kai.
He bites his lips, and feels ashamed that he is somewhat excited at the prospect of sleeping in the same bed as Kai. And they were alone, just the two of them, in a motel…
Kai suddenly flops onto the bed, sprawling his limbs out, and messing up the perfectly made bedspread, so Kyungsoo just sits down nervously at the edge, the only place Kai wasn’t occupying. Kai seems to know what Kyungsoo is thinking about when he stares up at him through his dark lashes, his face a bit too teasing, too seductive, and Kyungsoo’s heart is pounding obnoxiously loud, and he’s sure that Kai can hear it to
He swallows uncomfortably. “What?”
There’s a confident smirk playing on Kai's lips, and he sits up, and starts crawling toward Kyungsoo on all fours, like he was a feline, stealthy and co
Suddenly Kyungsoo misses the playful Kai, the happy-go-lucky childish Kai who didn’t look like he was about to devour him alive.
“W-w-what are you doing?” Kyungsoo tries not to sound flustered as Kai is getting closer, and closer…
And then Kai pounces on him, shoving him down on the bed, so that his legs are straddling Kyungsoo’s hips and Kyungsoo can’t say anything because there’s no air in his lungs, and he can’t seem to remember how to breath
“Am I making you nervous?” Kai laughs cockily, his hands moving up and down Kyungsoo’s hips slowly, and he squirms because it’s making him feel rather aroused. Kai seems to notice and his hands start wandering to the hem of Kyungsoo’s shirt. He slides one of his hands under and Kyungsoo gasps when Kai’s cool hands make contact with his skin, because it was so much warmer, and the difference in temperatures felt so goo
“K-Kai I think we should p-probably unpack now bec-” Kyungsoo lets out a yelp when Kai rubs his fingers against his nipples, and every time Kai touches him, rubs him, he feels himself, much to his embarrassment, getting harde
“Do you like it when I touch you?” Kai stops touching him for a second to listen to his response.
“N-No.” Kyungsoo manages to choke out, and he knows it’s not true, and thankfully, Kai doesn’t stop, because he knows it's not true eithe
Kai pulls up Kyungsoo’s shirt, and leans down to tentatively lick one of his nipples. Kyungsoo’s breathing hitches and Kai smiles wickedly, “We both know that’s not true Do Kyungsoo.”
Kyungsoo wants to crawl into a hole and die because the blood rushing to the area between his legs seems to confirm everything he say
Kai doesn’t wait for Kyungsoo to respond, his hands starting to make their way downward. Kyungsoo hasn’t thought this through, because he hadn’t been expecting there to be only one bed, and he hadn’t been expecting that Sehun would leave so soon, and he hadn’t been expecting that Kai would want him as much as he wanted Kai…
There’s a knock at the door, and Kyungsoo gratefully leaps out from underneath Kai. Kai lets out a sigh of disappointment because things were just starting to get good.
Kyungsoo pats his hair down and tries to look presentable before answering the doo
“Yes?” He smiles, and sees that it’s only Sehun, who is holding Kyungsoo’s silver digital camera in his hands.
“Am I interrupting something?” He lifts an eyebrow at Kyungsoo after giving him a once over.
“No!” He probably shouldn’t have denied it so strongly.
“I don’t believe you.” Sehun hears Kai cackle from inside the room, confiriming Sehun's suspicion
“Anyways, here.” Kyungsoo takes the camera from Sehun slowly, afraid of what will happen once he was gone, and he had to return to his room, back to his bed, where Kai sat waiting for him.
“Uh. Just make sure you guys use protec-”
Kyungsoo doesn’t hesitate to indignantly slam the door in Oh Sehun’s face.
**
Kyungsoo managed to avoid being near Kai and the bed, the rest of the evening, up until when they had to go to sleep which, thankfully, by the time he had gotten out of the shower, Kai was already snoring quietl
He curled up next to the younger boy and snuggled into his side, glad that the other wasn’t awake to see him do it. He’d act as if he had rolled over and done it in his sleep, and that it was all just a coincidence. He was too shy to come right out and say “Kai let’s cuddle!~” (although he knew Kai would have no problem saying such a thing). Kyungsoo sighed, thinking about the rain earlier today and hoped that tomorrow there would be none because the last thing he needed was for the weather to stop him; he planned it all so perfectly. It was with these worries he finally managed to drift off to sleep.
Part 4
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Kai/Kyungsoo
Word Count: 12,292
Warning: Sexy times...but not really? Almost sexy times.
Disclaimer: I am so cheesy. Sorry.
Summary: Things are always the same for Kai. Day after day, his life has been the same for as long as he could remember. The physiciatric ward he grew up in the only place he has ever known, Kai is stuck in the vicisious cycle of routine, everything uniform and immutable. Until the arrival of his new nurse, Do Kyungsoo. And suddenly things aren't so predictiable or unchanging, and they are definitely not the same.
The car ride to Seoul was about a hundred times more awkward than Kyungsoo had anticipated. He had been excepting Kai’s cold shoulder and aloof demeanor, but if th wasn't d enough, Sehun had decided (because I haven’t been to the city in a while, he had said, but the truth was so obvious it was laughable) to tag along, and so now Kyungsoo was stuck in the back seat of Luhan’s navy blue Hyundai with Kai. Luhan was driving and Sehun sat in the passenger seat, failing (Well excuse me, there are just so many damn lines on this thing! Sehun had interjected) to give directions, even with a G and ap. Luhan, probably just trying to be polite (or just to break the stifling silence) attempted to make feeble conversation, which eventually just died off when he realized he was mostly talking to himself, and Sehun gave a small awkward cough every now for similar reason
Kai faced out the window; his head leaned against the glass as he took in the scenery that blurred by. Kyungsoo wondered what Kai thought of it all, because he knew that the boy had no recollection of these new things that he was seeing. He wants to ask him, and wants to explain things to him; he wants to help Kai see the world, and have him become apart of it, but before he can actually muster any courage to say anything, their fight from the previous night stops him, and then he is thinking about Kai’s sketchpad, which he had managed to put back before Kai had noticed. Kyungsoo knew what he had done wrong, and he knew that he needed to fix this. But he was afraid; Afraid that he would mess up again, and make things worse, and the last thing he wanted was Kim Jongin to be even colder and more unforgiving, as if they really were nothing more than a nurse and a patient. He thinks a bit, and he stares out his window, through the slightly tinted glass to look at the clear skies billows of clouds scattered throughout, open fields of short patchy grass and the open countryside that lay beyond it, all looking a little grayer, a little damper than usual, but maybe it’s just the glass. His thoughts begin to drift, and Kyungsoo hates it because he always ends up thinking about things he doesn’t want to, and then he starts feeling things he hates, and then he slips into that place he hates because it’s so hard to get back, to pull himself out, to stop himself from slipping awa
He is a torrent of feelings, swirling emotions of sadness and anger, mostly self-directed, and he is at a loss.
If only there were words he could use to explain to Kim Jongin how he was feeling, how sorry he was and how much he meant to him, and how he would never leave his side, and that he never meant it from the beginning, because there wasn’t a thing that Kyungsoo would ever hide from Kim Jongin or Kai, because…
Well, because he loved hi
He blushes a little at the realization and suddenly he is kind of glad that Kai wasn’t facing him.
Words can’t help him right now, so he decides he won’t use his words this time-no, he would have to show Kim Jongin, he would have to do what words can’t, no matter how painful it may be for himself.
It’s with this resolve that Kyungsoo finally leans over to Sehun, beckoning for him to lean closer, secret hopes and plans leaving his mouth in small little whisper
Kai continues to pretend that he is staring out the window, as if he hadn’t noticed the small movement in his peripheral view, and that he wasn’t just a little jealous at how close Sehun was leaning to Kyungsoo.
**
Kai finally faces Kyungsoo for the first time since getting into the car. Kai was fully convinced now that Sehun was physically incapable of reading the map, because not only had they taken an unusually long rest stop break (what were they doing up there!?), but they had managed to stray way off the main road: they had turned onto a very secluded dirt road, one that had trees leaning down at every edge, their branches making a beautiful arch down the road, and with no one else on the small road, it was very peaceful. They had finally stopped when they reached a clearing, where Luhan stopped the car and parked it.
This certainly wasn’t Seoul, that much Kai knew.
“Where are we?” his voice slightly hoarse from the elongated silence.
Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything but “Close your eyes.”
**
“Ok, now, open them.” Kyungsoo lets go out of Kai’s wrist, which he had been holding onto so he could lead him down the rough path, untouched by humans and littered with sticks, twigs and stones of various size
Kai slowly opens his eyes, lifting each lid a little bit at a tim
“I brought you to meet my parents.&rdqu
Kai fully opens his eyes upon he hearing this.
Two marble slabs lay in front of him, both identical in size and shape, the only difference being the named carved into its smooth dark surface. The graves are in pretty decent conditon, despite the little weeds growing at their bases, and it seems like it has been a while since has been there, years maybe. The withered remains of flowers from the last visitor lay in front of them, and Kyungsoo picks them up and replaces them with a fresh new batch of flowers-these ones a vibrant purple and a deep crimson- that were very much alive and healthy. Kyungsoo then gets down onto his knees as he begins to pay homage to the people who had brought him into this cruel world, and then proceeded to leave him helplessly alone.
This is the first time Kai has understood what “awkward” actually meant as he towered over Kyungsoo, watching him pay his respects, unsure if he should join him, curious as to what happened, confused as to why Kyungsoo hadn&rsquo just said so the first place, but mostly, he is sad. Sad because the thought of Kyungsoo being alone made his heartache, and it hurt him to think that Kyungsoo was painfully similar to him in many ways. Somewhere in the mix with the sadness, Jongin feels guilty because he had been so selfish, because he had only thought of himself. He couldn’t help it, because he hated that word, the one that always came with empty promises and false pretenses and sorrowful goodbyes. He thought he could handle hearing it now, so long as it wasn’t from Kyungsoo. Anybody but Kyungsoo, he had panicked at the thought the night that Kyungsoo had said it, his sleeping pills doing nothing to suppress the nightmares that came over him; Kyungsoo flashing him a well painted smile, speaking gentle words with absolutely no meaning but filled with intent and manipulation, and Kai woke up panting, sweat matting tufts of his hair to his face, the image of Kyungsoo’s slender figure vanishing down the never ending grey hallway engrained in his mind…
And now the nightmares don’t seem so bad as he thinks about Kyungsoo being just like Jongin, except with nobody to even pretend to care for him, even if it always just a lie. Jongin never had anything to begin with, so he never had anything to loose. Kyungsoo may have had something he never did, but Kyungsoo had to live through the pain of loosing it too, it dawns on Jongi
Jongin wants to say something to Kyungsoo, to tell him h he uld be his family now, how he wou never ave his side, how he would give him everything he had before, and more. But the words never come to him, and Jongin acknowledges that it was something no words could ever express, because he finally had somebody who gave his life meaning, and gave him something worth living for, somebody who gave him an existence beyond the solid brick walls of the place he called home&helli
Jongin finally reach his solve, and for once, the always happy and innocent Kai, does to
**
When Kyungsoo is finally done, he stands up, brushing off the grass that sticks to his slacks. Kai hasn’t said anything since they have gotten here, but Kyungsoo doesn’t mind because he understands that there isn’t much to be said.
Kyungsoo is feeling a little better now, and visiting his parent’s grave doesn’t leave him as bitter as it used to when they had first died. The last time he had been there was almost 4 years ago, and he had only visited once since the rainy June day of their funeral, to which next to nobody showed up to because everybody was “busy”, or they weren’t “around”, leaving Kyungsoo and a few other close family friends to show up. When they all left, Kyungsoo had collapsed in a heap on the ground, uncaring if anybody saw, sobs ripping out of his chest as he realized he was the sad remains of what was once a family. He had been almost done with high school then, so his relatives had made no effort to try and take care of the boy, because he would be “going to college soon, I’m sure he can take care of himself until then.”
“I’m sorry.&rdqu
Kyungsoo breaks out of his daze and looks at Kai.
Kai is looking at him now, his normal playfulness gone, instead replaced by a seriousness that Kyungsoo had never seen in Kai before. Kai takes a few steps toward Kyungsoo, closing the distance. He is standing about a foot from the nurse, and he looks him dead in the eye and says it again, “I’m sorry.&rdqu
Kyungsoo isn’t sure if he’s apologizing for his parents or for their figh
“You don’t nee-&rdqu
Kai cuts him off as he begins his own rant, his voice cracking with emotion, “I’m sorry for all the pain you’ve had, I’m sorry for all the loneliness you’ve ever felt, I’m sorry for those sleepless nights, I’m sorry for all those tears you’ve shed, I’m sorry for you having to take care of me, because I know that I’m not always the easiest to take care and I’m sorry that I’m always so selfish, always demanding this and that out of you, I’m sorry that I’ve made your life harder, and that I take up all your time, so that you can never do the things you want to, and that you never have free time because your stuck taking care of a cra-”
“Kai, Kai, Stop.” Kyungsoo grabs Kai by his shoulders, as if this would physically stop the boy from continuing. Kai’s words die on his lips as he waits for Kyungsoo to speak.
“Don’t apologize to me about anything. I have never regretted a single minute I have spent with you, even if you are selfish, and demanding, and ridiculous.” Kai rolls his eyes. “There is nowhere else I would rather be, and there is nobody else I would rather be with. And besides, I would spend any free time I had with you anyways. I love my job again, I love going to work again, and I love knowing that everyday I will get to see you, and I love-, er, well, I love you.” This time it’s Kyungsoo’s words that die, and he is flushed an embarrassing shade of pink.
Kai takes a minute to process everything his nurse had just said, before his eyes widen a little in surprise, shining with that life Kyungsoo had seen in certain Kim Jongin’s patient file. Jongin breaks into the most beautiful smile that Kyungsoo has ever seen, so that he can’t help but smile right back at Jongin.
There is no more distance between the two when Kai envelops Kyungsoo in his arms, and Kyungsoo is glad to see that Kai's heart is racing, just like Kyungsoo'
“I love you too.” Kai pulls back a little so he can look at Kyungsoo’s face when he says it, and Kyungsoo’s blush is spreading across his face, cheeks flaming. Damn, he was so cute when he was like this, Kai thinks as he leans down toward him.
Kyungsoo buries his head into Kai’s shoulder to hide his face, and they stay like this for a little bit, not saying anything, the silence comfortable and swee
They turn their heads when they hear a gagging noise, and Sehun and Luhan are walking toward them; Sehun shakes his head in disgust at the embracing couple and Luhan smiles in adoration.
“Have you no shame, doing this right in front of your mother and father, Kyungsoo? They’re probably turning in their graves.&rdqu
“I think it’s cute!~” Luhan counters, smiling up at Sehun, as if waiting for him to agree.
“Oh?” Sehun tries not to look interested, keeping his voice monotone.
Luhan nods enthusiastically and continues, “Yes, it’s so romantic! I love romantic things. Like long walks on the beach, or candle lit dinners, or couple shirts. Stuff like that."
Sehun nods silently, taking mental notes, minus the couple shirts because, ew, couple shirts, how tacky, (but how typical for Luhan) even if they were “just” friends, and he is about to say something else, when he cuts off abruptl
“EWW, GET A ROOM”, he shrieks at the couple, who had went from to a sweet embrace to full blown making out, little squeaks of pleasure leaving their mouths, seemingly forgetting that Luhan and Sehun were still there, watching them, having to witness something that was a little to intimate for public eyes, and certainly not appropriate for the graves of Kyungsoo’s parent
Luhan blushes and awkwardly turns away to give them privacy, secondhand embarrassment getting the best of him, and Kyungsoo breaks apart from Kai panting, laughing at the misfortune of their spectators, and Kai smirks, as if to say “this is just the beginning…”
**
A drop lands on Kai’s cheek and he pats his face, looking up, and sees that it’s just starting to sprinkle. They have just pulled up into the place where they will be staying, and it was truly a dump. Kai isn’t fazed by it, because his world has always been white linen sheets, plastic bed frames and stiff beds. This new scenery was nice, the change was nice and he didn’t even mind the horrible stench of cheap cigarettes and alcohol, the dingy lighting and the piss filled bathroom, because it was unlike anything he had ever seen before. Kyungsoo watches in amusement as Kai marvels over the littlest of things, while trying to hold his own disgust because their room was filthy, and obviously not meant for a 4 night stay. Of course, Sehun can’t read a map OR choose a decent hotel, Kyungsoo sighs bitterly.
Sehun helps them bring their luggage into their room, and after making a snide remark about keeping things in their pants if they can, and how he will be seeing them in 4 days, he and Luhan leave to go do whatever they were going to d
Kyungsoo finally looks around the room and realizes that there is only one bed.
That means…he would have to share a bed with Kai.
He bites his lips, and feels ashamed that he is somewhat excited at the prospect of sleeping in the same bed as Kai. And they were alone, just the two of them, in a motel…
Kai suddenly flops onto the bed, sprawling his limbs out, and messing up the perfectly made bedspread, so Kyungsoo just sits down nervously at the edge, the only place Kai wasn’t occupying. Kai seems to know what Kyungsoo is thinking about when he stares up at him through his dark lashes, his face a bit too teasing, too seductive, and Kyungsoo’s heart is pounding obnoxiously loud, and he’s sure that Kai can hear it to
He swallows uncomfortably. “What?”
There’s a confident smirk playing on Kai's lips, and he sits up, and starts crawling toward Kyungsoo on all fours, like he was a feline, stealthy and co
Suddenly Kyungsoo misses the playful Kai, the happy-go-lucky childish Kai who didn’t look like he was about to devour him alive.
“W-w-what are you doing?” Kyungsoo tries not to sound flustered as Kai is getting closer, and closer…
And then Kai pounces on him, shoving him down on the bed, so that his legs are straddling Kyungsoo’s hips and Kyungsoo can’t say anything because there’s no air in his lungs, and he can’t seem to remember how to breath
“Am I making you nervous?” Kai laughs cockily, his hands moving up and down Kyungsoo’s hips slowly, and he squirms because it’s making him feel rather aroused. Kai seems to notice and his hands start wandering to the hem of Kyungsoo’s shirt. He slides one of his hands under and Kyungsoo gasps when Kai’s cool hands make contact with his skin, because it was so much warmer, and the difference in temperatures felt so goo
“K-Kai I think we should p-probably unpack now bec-” Kyungsoo lets out a yelp when Kai rubs his fingers against his nipples, and every time Kai touches him, rubs him, he feels himself, much to his embarrassment, getting harde
“Do you like it when I touch you?” Kai stops touching him for a second to listen to his response.
“N-No.” Kyungsoo manages to choke out, and he knows it’s not true, and thankfully, Kai doesn’t stop, because he knows it's not true eithe
Kai pulls up Kyungsoo’s shirt, and leans down to tentatively lick one of his nipples. Kyungsoo’s breathing hitches and Kai smiles wickedly, “We both know that’s not true Do Kyungsoo.”
Kyungsoo wants to crawl into a hole and die because the blood rushing to the area between his legs seems to confirm everything he say
Kai doesn’t wait for Kyungsoo to respond, his hands starting to make their way downward. Kyungsoo hasn’t thought this through, because he hadn’t been expecting there to be only one bed, and he hadn’t been expecting that Sehun would leave so soon, and he hadn’t been expecting that Kai would want him as much as he wanted Kai…
There’s a knock at the door, and Kyungsoo gratefully leaps out from underneath Kai. Kai lets out a sigh of disappointment because things were just starting to get good.
Kyungsoo pats his hair down and tries to look presentable before answering the doo
“Yes?” He smiles, and sees that it’s only Sehun, who is holding Kyungsoo’s silver digital camera in his hands.
“Am I interrupting something?” He lifts an eyebrow at Kyungsoo after giving him a once over.
“No!” He probably shouldn’t have denied it so strongly.
“I don’t believe you.” Sehun hears Kai cackle from inside the room, confiriming Sehun's suspicion
“Anyways, here.” Kyungsoo takes the camera from Sehun slowly, afraid of what will happen once he was gone, and he had to return to his room, back to his bed, where Kai sat waiting for him.
“Uh. Just make sure you guys use protec-”
Kyungsoo doesn’t hesitate to indignantly slam the door in Oh Sehun’s face.
**
Kyungsoo managed to avoid being near Kai and the bed, the rest of the evening, up until when they had to go to sleep which, thankfully, by the time he had gotten out of the shower, Kai was already snoring quietl
He curled up next to the younger boy and snuggled into his side, glad that the other wasn’t awake to see him do it. He’d act as if he had rolled over and done it in his sleep, and that it was all just a coincidence. He was too shy to come right out and say “Kai let’s cuddle!~” (although he knew Kai would have no problem saying such a thing). Kyungsoo sighed, thinking about the rain earlier today and hoped that tomorrow there would be none because the last thing he needed was for the weather to stop him; he planned it all so perfectly. It was with these worries he finally managed to drift off to sleep.
Part 4