Big bang 2013: Better together: Chapter one
Fic title: Better together 1/5
Author name: dutch_chick674
Artist name: theextrac00kie
Genre:> RPS au
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 23.331
Warnings: Angst, sex scenes
Summary: Jared finally left Jensen when he was tired of always being the second choice to the other man. He worked thought the hard times on supernatural but was happy when the series finally ended.
Jensen was broken when Jared finally had enough, even though he always knew in the back of his mind that thing would eventually fall apart. He only realized what a fool he was letting Jared go after he had ruined things between them
This is the story of what happens when they meet again four years after supernatural ended.
Authors note 1: This is part of the heartbreak verse, but reading it not requited.
prequel
Chapter one.
Four years later...
Jensen’s heart stops when he sees Jared on the red carpet. He knew they would eventually see each other again. They both run in the same circles, so it is kind of a miracle that it took four years for this moment to happen.
Jensen stays at a respectable distance as he watches the other man interact with the press, and wonders if he should greet him. He’s happy when the decision is taken away from him by a photographer requesting a picture of him and Jared together. He waits a moment, to see Jared’s reaction, and when it doesn’t look like the other man is going to object, Jensen walks over. Jared is stiff, and the interaction is uncomfortable at first, but soon they fall back into the easy flow they used to have.
They continue to make small talk even after they enter the theatre, out of the eye of the press. And, because someone out there loves him, Jensen is seated next to Jared. When Jensen points this out Jared just shrugs, and says that the person who had made the seating arrangement obviously knew that they used to work together and used to be friends. For one awkward moment, Jensen tries to explain the past, only to be cut off by Jared. Jensen understands; this is not the time, nor the place. They remain quiet during the movie, and Jensen is enthralled with Jared moving on screen.
At the end of the movie, Jensen is disappointed, and he wishes for an excuse to spend more time with Jared. He wants to talk to this person who once was the most important person in his life, and needs to make sure that at least one of them is happy.
Then Jared turns to him, eyes soft and wet with emotion, and Jensen can’t believe his ears when Jared asks if he wants to grab something to drink after the premiere.
When Jared calls him a week later, to set up lunch, he tells himself not to get his hopes up and that Jared probably only wants to catch up, maybe even be friends. Even if that thought breaks his heart a little bit, he has to admit he misses Jared, misses the easy camaraderie they once had and he is willing to try and get it back.
He had never expected to get a second chance at a relationship with Jared, not after everything that had happened between them and how much he had hurt Jared. He didn’t think Jared would open himself up to Jensen like that again, but since their second date, Jared has been shyly flirting and Jensen can't help but flirt back. He also can't stop the tiny spark of hope that flares every time Jared smiles at him.
They don't see each other nearly as much as Jensen wants. They are both busy guys. Jensen finally gets a change to direct a TV movie. It might not seem like much but it has some big names attached. Jared has a big part in a drama, and is happy that he finally gets a chance to prove he can act, which he didn’t get in the rom-coms after Supernatural. Despite the scheduling problems, they still made time for each other once or twice a week.
“I can't believe you're going to direct Joseph Gordon-Levitt. You know he's been getting Oscar nods for years now. This movie is going to be big just because he's in it,” Jared says, smiling at Jensen.
“Oh, so not because I'm a great director,” Jensen says playfully before taking a sip from his whine.
Jared eyes go big and Jensen can't help the laugh that escapes.
They're at a restaurant eating dinner together. It still feels a little strange to be out in public together like this. Despite that they had both told the public they were gay, after things between them had ended, Jensen still has to resist the urge to duck his face away every time someone walks by. This can easily been seen as a romantic dinner and he is nervous. He never really dated in public. He isn't even sure this is a date, but still.
“I know I'm lucky to get this chance,” Jensen says, after he's finished laughing, “It's a good script too. How's your movie coming along?”
“Great man, I know it’s going to be a good one. I’m going to leave for a location shoot tomorrow. You know shit is classy when you get those, right?” Jared says, smiling.
Jensen nods, proud of Jared. He sits back as Jared starts telling him about the things he plans to do and the things he wants to see when he is on location, and Jensen is happy to listen.
***
Jared hadn't planned on drinking as much as he did. He had so much fun last night that he forgot the way he got around Jensen when he was drunk. So, when they finally left the restaurant, Jared was hanging off Jensen, and his hands grabbed at every part of the other man that was within reach. Unfortunately, Jensen was in much the same state, which meant their second first time together was nearly a copy of their real first time together.
“Come on, Jensen. I want you so much. I've missed you inside of me,” Jared moaned, pulling Jensen against him.
Jared could feel Jensen’s groan rumble against his chest where Jensen lay on top of him. He pushed up from the couch to take off his own shirt and then started on Jensen's.
“God Jay, you, so hot,” Jensen whispered, undoing Jared’s pants.
Jared shakes the memory away. He doesn't want to think about how Jensen’s hands found their way around his cock, or about how he and Jensen had proceeded to get each other off.
Jared groans, feeling a headache start at the back of his head, one that is sure to bloom into a full-on hangover. He's about to get up when he hears his bedroom door open.
“Hey Jay,” Jensen’s soft voice cuts the silence.
Jared turns to look at the other man. Jensen's wearing the same jeans he wore last night, and he still looked sleep-rumpled and cute. He's holding a glass of water in one hand and a bottle of Advil in the other.
“I guessed you might need this?” he asks, sounding unsure.
Jared wonders if Jensen is having flashbacks too, and is remembering the way Jared had kicked him out of the bed, and out of his house, the first time they had slept together, all those years ago. Jared had been furious to be the one Jensen cheated with. He got over it eventually, stupidly enough. But the situation is different now, he tells himself. Jensen is single now.
Jared takes the pills and water from Jensen, swallowing them down gratefully, happy to have an excuse to stay quiet, at least until the glass is empty. Jensen sits down awkwardly on the bed next to him, making sure to keep some distance between them. Jared thinks it’s kind of funny, because he was fairly certain Jensen woke up this morning with Jared plastered to him. He has always cuddled close in his sleep.
“I'm sorry Jared,” Jensen whispered head bowed. “Damn it,” he continues, under his breath, then he turns to Jared, “I was hoping we could take it slow.”
Jared smiles even though he knows it must look faked. “Too late for that now,” he says.
“Too late for everything, or too late to go slow?” he asks taking Jared’s hands. “Because if I have a chance with you Jay, I'm going to take it.”
Jared sighs. “I’m not sure Jen, the last few weeks have been wonderful and I've missed hanging out with you. But, if we're going to do this? I want to date. I want. . .” He doesn't know how to continue, doesn’t know how to say that he wants more. He wants everything he didn't have the first time around, and he wants to be loved the way he knows he deserves.
Jensen nods. He lies down, pulls Jared against him, and softly strokes his hair. And Jared thinks that maybe he doesn't need to say it after all.
***
Jensen starts thinking about ways to win Jared over. He knows better than anyone that having sex with someone doesn't mean you hold their heart. Jared won’t let him in as easily as he did the first time, and Jensen understands that he hurt the man so much that he has to earn his way back.
Sleeping with Jared was a stupid move, not that either of them was really thinking at the time; both of them had drunk too much and it happened in the heat of the moment. Not that he regretted it; it had gotten Jared to admit that he wanted to be courted, even if he hasn't said so. Jensen is learning to read between the lines.
So now Jensen is breaking his head on how exactly he is going to do this. He wishes for a friend he could call on for advice, but the only person he can think of is Steve, and he is on tour with Chris. And the moment Chris gets wind of what going on, Jensen is sure he'll take the first plane back to LA to slap some sense into him.
He's kind of lucky that Jared had a location shoot so soon after their hook-up. It gives him some time to think things over. He wishes he hadn’t gotten used to having Jared in his life again. He picks up his phone more than he wants to admit, but, because of the time difference, he knows he’ll wake up Jared. Luckily, he still has his work to distract him.
***
Jared lets himself fall back on the hotel bed, sighing. He used to love location shoots, was happy to see more of the planet and was grateful that his job provided the opportunity. A good side-effect of these shoots was getting closer to the cast and crew, but Jared isn't really enjoying this location shoot. He seems to have s a hard time fitting in. He never had this problem before; usually conversation flowed easily with him. But now he isn’t really interested in what his co-workers have to say.
He finds himself remembering times on Supernatural and the close knit family he had there. He finds himself turning to make a joke or plan a prank, expecting Jensen to be standing right next to him. He hasn’t had those urges in years and he knows seeing Jensen again, connecting with him again, is the cause. Jensen has wormed his way back into Jared life and heart. And despite how scared it makes Jared, the only thing that makes his bruised heart feel better is Jensen.
After a long week of late night shots Jared is ready to drop. Remembering Supernatural and the way Jensen and he were back then, without the heartache that usually came with these memories, is making him miss Jensen. But the truth is they are barely dating, and calling each other every day would be weird. Besides, Jared doesn't want to seem needy, though he desperately wishes he could justify a late phone call. He has to make do with texting Jensen, which he does as often as he can.
Jared feels himself slowly drift into sleep when his phone startles him. Jared can't help the smile on his face when he sees who's calling. Jensen.
“Hey Jen!”
“Hey Jared,” Jensen sounds sleepy, like he just woke up.
Jared turns to look at the clock: one AM, and it’s three hours later where Jensen is, so no wonder he sounds sleepy.
“Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?” Jared questions, even though he really wants to talk to Jensen.
“I was, but your text said you'd be done around this time so I set an alarm.”
Jared can't help his giddy feeling at Jensen's admission; it’s very sweet of Jensen to disrupt his sleep just to talk to Jared. Unfortunately, it also reminds Jared of other late night phone calls, made when Danneel was asleep so that they could have some privacy. Jared pushes away those thoughts . That’s in the past, and there’s no need to think about it now.
“I miss you man, I know it's strange with the way we left things after...”
“I miss you too,” Jared cuts in before Jensen can finish. He doesn't really want to be reminded of that night, and he stubbornly ignores the fact that he has been revisiting those memories each of the last seven nights.
He’s afraid. The last time he let himself feel so much it nearly broke him. He can't believe Jensen has him tied up in knots already.
“Yeah,” Jensen sighs softly, “I know you're more than I deserve, and I plan on wooing you.”
Jared can't stop the giggle fit that comes. “You're ridiculous,” he says when he has caught his breath.
“I know. Now tell me how your day was.”
Jared relaxes back into his cushions and starts telling Jensen about the cool stunts he was able to do today.
***
Jensen is nervous about meeting Jared at the airport without having discussed it with him first. When he came up with the idea, it had seemed romantic, but now it just seems stupid. He and Jared aren’t that serious yet. And he fears Jared might think he is assuming things by picking Jared up from the airport.
Jensen is second guessing his every move, and has been ever since he and Jared had met again, which is unusual for him. He usually isn’t afraid of failing or looking like a dork. But this time, he doesn't want to fuck it up and he’s afraid that Jared might take one look at him then turn and walk away.
Jensen had been thinking about ways to win Jared back, and coming up blank, until he eventually caved and called his mom to ask for some tips on romance. It had meant listening to his mom squealing and asking him who the lucky guy was. Truth be told, he would do anything to make this work. After all these years, Jared is still the one who got away, the one Jensen never forgot. He wasn’t joking when he said the he was willing to work for it.
He just hopes that Jared likes the surprise Jensen has in store for him.
Jensen spots Jared the moment the other man comes out of the baggage claim. Jared's face breaks into a bright grin the moment he sees Jensen standing there, a single red rose in hand. Jared walks up to him, laughing, and Jensen can't help but grin in response.
He wants to do the ridiculous romantic thing and run up to Jared and throw himself at the other man. He doesn’t, afraid of someone seeing them. Things between them are too new to go public yet. Besides he doesn’t know how Jared feels about him being there, he doesn’t want to get rejected.
“Hey,” Jared says, the moment he’s within earshot, “you didn't have to come.”
Jensen feels himself blush, “I wanted to.”
Jared’s smile grows impossibly bigger and he leans down to kiss Jensen. It's a soft and gentle kiss, over before Jensen's ready.
They stand there for a minute before Jared takes his hand and walks towards the exit.
“You know that rose is ridiculous, right? I know you said you were going to woo me but dude,” Jared says as they walk through the airport.
Jensen shrugs. “I know. Well, I realized after I bought it, but by then I already had it.”
He doesn't know when he developed this nervous babble.
“Next time, just bring a cup of coffee,” Jared says turning towards him when they get to the car. “So what did you plan for us today?”
“How did you know I had something planned?”
“Come on Jensen, I still know you.”
“Uh,” Jensen starts, all of a sudden doubting himself, “I was going to drive you home, cook you dinner. I'm guessing you're tired, so I wanted to watch a movie.”
Jared pulls Jensen close, and kisses him deeply. “That sounds awesome,” Jared breathes against Jensen's lips.
“Yeah? I didn't think you'd have anything edible at home so I brought groceries.” Jensen says opening his car.
Jared sighs when he gets in. “You are awesome.”
They drive in silence, and Jensen smiles softly to himself when his hand find Jared's, and he links their fingers together.
When they get to Jared's home, Jensen tells Jared to go unpack his bags while he starts dinner.
When Jared comes into the kitchen, Jensen is humming to himself while he tosses an onion into the stir-fry he is making. Jared steps up behind him, wraps his arms around him and kisses his neck. Jensen forgets the years that have come between them and is thrown back four years as soon as he feels Jared’s hard body
“Hey Jay. Dinner is almost ready. You just sit down.”
Jensen puts the wok on the table and sits down across from Jared smiling softly, “So tell me how the location shoot was.”
Jared starts telling Jensen about his new movie and the director he is working with. Jensen sits back and listens to Jared babble. They finish eating at about the same time as Jared finishes telling his stories, and then Jared and Jensen clear the table together in silence.
It's easy between them, just like it had been before. Only this time Jensen knows to appreciate and cherish it. Jared starts losing focus halfway through the movie and, when Jensen has to rouse him, he decides to call it a day. They spend half an hour at the door kissing each other goodbye. All in all, he considers it a good date.
***
“So now the two of you are together?” Chad asks, in disbelief.
Jared shakes his head. “No, we’re just dating. I'm not going to just start something with him again. He didn't have to work for it the first time; this time will be different.”
Chad nods. Chad is the only person who kind of knows what went down with Jensen. Well, maybe that isn’t exactly true. Chad thinks Jared and Jensen only hooked up once, and Jared was too ashamed to tell him everything. He was ashamed of the way he almost gave up everything for a man who was never really his.
“So he takes you out and buys you flowers and shit?” Chad asks.
Jared feels a blush creep up his face, because, despite it being extremely girly, that's exactly what Jensen had been doing. Jared had thought that Jensen had been joking when he had said that he was going to woo Jared. But it seems like Jensen is determined to make up for lost time. For the past month, Jensen had been the perfect gentlemen. If Jared was honest with himself, he has to admit he kind of likes it. It makes him feel special in a way that being with Jensen never has before.
“He does, doesn't he?” Chad says, clearly surprised, and then his face turns serious. “Well you deserve it.”
Jared nods. After Jared cut it off with Jensen, things had been rough, but Chad had been there for everything. Even though Chad came to live in Vancouver for a month or two, Jared never really gave the other man an explanation for his depression. Now Jared is thinking that maybe Chad knew a bit more that he was letting on.
“Yeah I like to think so. Another beer?” Jared asks, trying to change the topic.
Chad nods. “Yeah and when you get back you can tell me all about the dates. But leave the kinky sex stuff out of it yeah?”
Jared nods; there was no kinky sex stuff to tell. As he said before, they have been taking it slow. Not that Jared didn't want to have sex, but it was nice just to hang out together. After that one night they haven't slept together, and all they have been doing is going to out to dinner and, a couple times, staying at Jensen's or Jared’s to watch a movie. Of course, there was making out involved, but Jensen always stopped before things went too far.
“So tell me,” Chad says when he walks back into the living room with two beer and four tequila shots. “Are you Mrs. Ackles or is he Mrs. Padalecki?”
Jared growls, and throws a napkin at his friend.
At the end of the night, Jared is more than a little bit drunk when he goes home. He can't stop thinking about Jensen. He tries not to, but he can’t help but wonder what they are to each other. He wants Jensen to be his boyfriend. He never had the guts to tell him.
He's so busy thinking about Jensen that he doesn't realize he gave the cab driver Jensen's address until he's in front of Jensen's house.
All the lights are out, but the cab has already left so it seems as if he doesn't have much of a choice but to wake Jensen up. It takes almost five minutes of leaning on the doorbell before Jensen finally opens.
Jared smiles when he sees his boyfriend looking all confussed and cute. Then he starts thinking about the boyfriend part again.
“Are you my boyfriend?” is out of his mouth before he can stop himself.
“What?” Jensen asks, with a cute little frown on his forehead.
Jared pushes him aside to get to Jensen's couch, suddenly feeling dizzy. Jensen sits down next to him.
“Jared?”
Jared lets his head roll towards Jensen, and leans back against the couch.
“What are you doing here? Other than asking me if I'm you boyfriend?” Jensen asks.
Jared looks at him before leaning in to Jensen side and kissing him deeply, the way he’s wished Jensen would do many times. He manhandles Jensen so that Jensen is lying on the couch before Jared crawls on top of him.
“Hmm, missed this,” Jared murmurs into Jensen's mouth, letting his hand roam over the other man's body.
“Jay, baby you have to stop. You're drunk and you don't want this, at least not now,” Jensen says when Jared's wandering hands reach his belt.
Jared opens his mouth to protest but the movement makes the room spin and bile rises in his throat. He makes a dash for the bathroom to throw up.
***
Jared wakes up the next day with a splitting headache. When he sits up and looks around, he sees Jensen lying next to him. God, he had been so stupid yesterday. He should have known better than to show up at Jensen's door drunk off his ass.
“Hey,” he says, embarrassed.
“We have to stop ending up like this,” Jensen says smirking a bit. “How are you feeling?”
“Like a fool.”
Jensen smiles at him. “So I take it you remember everything?”
Jared nods hiding his face in the pillow.
“Good,” Jensen says pulling Jared so that he's facing him. “You know Jay you don't have to be drunk to be honest with me.”
Jared looks up at Jensen. The other man looks sincere and a bit sad.
“I like to think that we are better at this, now. That we can talk about the way things are progressing in our relationship.
Jared blinks at Jensen. “Our relationship?” he questions.
Jensen nods, and pulls Jared against him so that Jared’s head rests on Jensen shoulder. “I'd like to think that's what we have. That this is what we are choosing to start.”
Jared did not expect that level of maturity from Jensen. Something has changed over the years, and it comes as a relief, since Jared has apparently lost his nerve to talk about relationships.
“Yeah, I'm sorry for storming in like that.”
“It’s okay, Jay,” Jensen says, nudging Jared so that they can kiss.
After a couple of minutes, Jensen pulls back, smirking. “Now I’m going to make you some breakfast,” Jensen says, pushing of the bed and walking out of the bedroom.
next chapter
Author name: dutch_chick674
Artist name: theextrac00kie
Genre:> RPS au
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 23.331
Warnings: Angst, sex scenes
Summary: Jared finally left Jensen when he was tired of always being the second choice to the other man. He worked thought the hard times on supernatural but was happy when the series finally ended.
Jensen was broken when Jared finally had enough, even though he always knew in the back of his mind that thing would eventually fall apart. He only realized what a fool he was letting Jared go after he had ruined things between them
This is the story of what happens when they meet again four years after supernatural ended.
Authors note 1: This is part of the heartbreak verse, but reading it not requited.
prequel
Chapter one.
Four years later...
Jensen’s heart stops when he sees Jared on the red carpet. He knew they would eventually see each other again. They both run in the same circles, so it is kind of a miracle that it took four years for this moment to happen.
Jensen stays at a respectable distance as he watches the other man interact with the press, and wonders if he should greet him. He’s happy when the decision is taken away from him by a photographer requesting a picture of him and Jared together. He waits a moment, to see Jared’s reaction, and when it doesn’t look like the other man is going to object, Jensen walks over. Jared is stiff, and the interaction is uncomfortable at first, but soon they fall back into the easy flow they used to have.
They continue to make small talk even after they enter the theatre, out of the eye of the press. And, because someone out there loves him, Jensen is seated next to Jared. When Jensen points this out Jared just shrugs, and says that the person who had made the seating arrangement obviously knew that they used to work together and used to be friends. For one awkward moment, Jensen tries to explain the past, only to be cut off by Jared. Jensen understands; this is not the time, nor the place. They remain quiet during the movie, and Jensen is enthralled with Jared moving on screen.
At the end of the movie, Jensen is disappointed, and he wishes for an excuse to spend more time with Jared. He wants to talk to this person who once was the most important person in his life, and needs to make sure that at least one of them is happy.
Then Jared turns to him, eyes soft and wet with emotion, and Jensen can’t believe his ears when Jared asks if he wants to grab something to drink after the premiere.
When Jared calls him a week later, to set up lunch, he tells himself not to get his hopes up and that Jared probably only wants to catch up, maybe even be friends. Even if that thought breaks his heart a little bit, he has to admit he misses Jared, misses the easy camaraderie they once had and he is willing to try and get it back.
He had never expected to get a second chance at a relationship with Jared, not after everything that had happened between them and how much he had hurt Jared. He didn’t think Jared would open himself up to Jensen like that again, but since their second date, Jared has been shyly flirting and Jensen can't help but flirt back. He also can't stop the tiny spark of hope that flares every time Jared smiles at him.
They don't see each other nearly as much as Jensen wants. They are both busy guys. Jensen finally gets a change to direct a TV movie. It might not seem like much but it has some big names attached. Jared has a big part in a drama, and is happy that he finally gets a chance to prove he can act, which he didn’t get in the rom-coms after Supernatural. Despite the scheduling problems, they still made time for each other once or twice a week.
“I can't believe you're going to direct Joseph Gordon-Levitt. You know he's been getting Oscar nods for years now. This movie is going to be big just because he's in it,” Jared says, smiling at Jensen.
“Oh, so not because I'm a great director,” Jensen says playfully before taking a sip from his whine.
Jared eyes go big and Jensen can't help the laugh that escapes.
They're at a restaurant eating dinner together. It still feels a little strange to be out in public together like this. Despite that they had both told the public they were gay, after things between them had ended, Jensen still has to resist the urge to duck his face away every time someone walks by. This can easily been seen as a romantic dinner and he is nervous. He never really dated in public. He isn't even sure this is a date, but still.
“I know I'm lucky to get this chance,” Jensen says, after he's finished laughing, “It's a good script too. How's your movie coming along?”
“Great man, I know it’s going to be a good one. I’m going to leave for a location shoot tomorrow. You know shit is classy when you get those, right?” Jared says, smiling.
Jensen nods, proud of Jared. He sits back as Jared starts telling him about the things he plans to do and the things he wants to see when he is on location, and Jensen is happy to listen.
***
Jared hadn't planned on drinking as much as he did. He had so much fun last night that he forgot the way he got around Jensen when he was drunk. So, when they finally left the restaurant, Jared was hanging off Jensen, and his hands grabbed at every part of the other man that was within reach. Unfortunately, Jensen was in much the same state, which meant their second first time together was nearly a copy of their real first time together.
“Come on, Jensen. I want you so much. I've missed you inside of me,” Jared moaned, pulling Jensen against him.
Jared could feel Jensen’s groan rumble against his chest where Jensen lay on top of him. He pushed up from the couch to take off his own shirt and then started on Jensen's.
“God Jay, you, so hot,” Jensen whispered, undoing Jared’s pants.
Jared shakes the memory away. He doesn't want to think about how Jensen’s hands found their way around his cock, or about how he and Jensen had proceeded to get each other off.
Jared groans, feeling a headache start at the back of his head, one that is sure to bloom into a full-on hangover. He's about to get up when he hears his bedroom door open.
“Hey Jay,” Jensen’s soft voice cuts the silence.
Jared turns to look at the other man. Jensen's wearing the same jeans he wore last night, and he still looked sleep-rumpled and cute. He's holding a glass of water in one hand and a bottle of Advil in the other.
“I guessed you might need this?” he asks, sounding unsure.
Jared wonders if Jensen is having flashbacks too, and is remembering the way Jared had kicked him out of the bed, and out of his house, the first time they had slept together, all those years ago. Jared had been furious to be the one Jensen cheated with. He got over it eventually, stupidly enough. But the situation is different now, he tells himself. Jensen is single now.
Jared takes the pills and water from Jensen, swallowing them down gratefully, happy to have an excuse to stay quiet, at least until the glass is empty. Jensen sits down awkwardly on the bed next to him, making sure to keep some distance between them. Jared thinks it’s kind of funny, because he was fairly certain Jensen woke up this morning with Jared plastered to him. He has always cuddled close in his sleep.
“I'm sorry Jared,” Jensen whispered head bowed. “Damn it,” he continues, under his breath, then he turns to Jared, “I was hoping we could take it slow.”
Jared smiles even though he knows it must look faked. “Too late for that now,” he says.
“Too late for everything, or too late to go slow?” he asks taking Jared’s hands. “Because if I have a chance with you Jay, I'm going to take it.”
Jared sighs. “I’m not sure Jen, the last few weeks have been wonderful and I've missed hanging out with you. But, if we're going to do this? I want to date. I want. . .” He doesn't know how to continue, doesn’t know how to say that he wants more. He wants everything he didn't have the first time around, and he wants to be loved the way he knows he deserves.
Jensen nods. He lies down, pulls Jared against him, and softly strokes his hair. And Jared thinks that maybe he doesn't need to say it after all.
***
Jensen starts thinking about ways to win Jared over. He knows better than anyone that having sex with someone doesn't mean you hold their heart. Jared won’t let him in as easily as he did the first time, and Jensen understands that he hurt the man so much that he has to earn his way back.
Sleeping with Jared was a stupid move, not that either of them was really thinking at the time; both of them had drunk too much and it happened in the heat of the moment. Not that he regretted it; it had gotten Jared to admit that he wanted to be courted, even if he hasn't said so. Jensen is learning to read between the lines.
So now Jensen is breaking his head on how exactly he is going to do this. He wishes for a friend he could call on for advice, but the only person he can think of is Steve, and he is on tour with Chris. And the moment Chris gets wind of what going on, Jensen is sure he'll take the first plane back to LA to slap some sense into him.
He's kind of lucky that Jared had a location shoot so soon after their hook-up. It gives him some time to think things over. He wishes he hadn’t gotten used to having Jared in his life again. He picks up his phone more than he wants to admit, but, because of the time difference, he knows he’ll wake up Jared. Luckily, he still has his work to distract him.
***
Jared lets himself fall back on the hotel bed, sighing. He used to love location shoots, was happy to see more of the planet and was grateful that his job provided the opportunity. A good side-effect of these shoots was getting closer to the cast and crew, but Jared isn't really enjoying this location shoot. He seems to have s a hard time fitting in. He never had this problem before; usually conversation flowed easily with him. But now he isn’t really interested in what his co-workers have to say.
He finds himself remembering times on Supernatural and the close knit family he had there. He finds himself turning to make a joke or plan a prank, expecting Jensen to be standing right next to him. He hasn’t had those urges in years and he knows seeing Jensen again, connecting with him again, is the cause. Jensen has wormed his way back into Jared life and heart. And despite how scared it makes Jared, the only thing that makes his bruised heart feel better is Jensen.
After a long week of late night shots Jared is ready to drop. Remembering Supernatural and the way Jensen and he were back then, without the heartache that usually came with these memories, is making him miss Jensen. But the truth is they are barely dating, and calling each other every day would be weird. Besides, Jared doesn't want to seem needy, though he desperately wishes he could justify a late phone call. He has to make do with texting Jensen, which he does as often as he can.
Jared feels himself slowly drift into sleep when his phone startles him. Jared can't help the smile on his face when he sees who's calling. Jensen.
“Hey Jen!”
“Hey Jared,” Jensen sounds sleepy, like he just woke up.
Jared turns to look at the clock: one AM, and it’s three hours later where Jensen is, so no wonder he sounds sleepy.
“Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?” Jared questions, even though he really wants to talk to Jensen.
“I was, but your text said you'd be done around this time so I set an alarm.”
Jared can't help his giddy feeling at Jensen's admission; it’s very sweet of Jensen to disrupt his sleep just to talk to Jared. Unfortunately, it also reminds Jared of other late night phone calls, made when Danneel was asleep so that they could have some privacy. Jared pushes away those thoughts . That’s in the past, and there’s no need to think about it now.
“I miss you man, I know it's strange with the way we left things after...”
“I miss you too,” Jared cuts in before Jensen can finish. He doesn't really want to be reminded of that night, and he stubbornly ignores the fact that he has been revisiting those memories each of the last seven nights.
He’s afraid. The last time he let himself feel so much it nearly broke him. He can't believe Jensen has him tied up in knots already.
“Yeah,” Jensen sighs softly, “I know you're more than I deserve, and I plan on wooing you.”
Jared can't stop the giggle fit that comes. “You're ridiculous,” he says when he has caught his breath.
“I know. Now tell me how your day was.”
Jared relaxes back into his cushions and starts telling Jensen about the cool stunts he was able to do today.
***
Jensen is nervous about meeting Jared at the airport without having discussed it with him first. When he came up with the idea, it had seemed romantic, but now it just seems stupid. He and Jared aren’t that serious yet. And he fears Jared might think he is assuming things by picking Jared up from the airport.
Jensen is second guessing his every move, and has been ever since he and Jared had met again, which is unusual for him. He usually isn’t afraid of failing or looking like a dork. But this time, he doesn't want to fuck it up and he’s afraid that Jared might take one look at him then turn and walk away.
Jensen had been thinking about ways to win Jared back, and coming up blank, until he eventually caved and called his mom to ask for some tips on romance. It had meant listening to his mom squealing and asking him who the lucky guy was. Truth be told, he would do anything to make this work. After all these years, Jared is still the one who got away, the one Jensen never forgot. He wasn’t joking when he said the he was willing to work for it.
He just hopes that Jared likes the surprise Jensen has in store for him.
Jensen spots Jared the moment the other man comes out of the baggage claim. Jared's face breaks into a bright grin the moment he sees Jensen standing there, a single red rose in hand. Jared walks up to him, laughing, and Jensen can't help but grin in response.
He wants to do the ridiculous romantic thing and run up to Jared and throw himself at the other man. He doesn’t, afraid of someone seeing them. Things between them are too new to go public yet. Besides he doesn’t know how Jared feels about him being there, he doesn’t want to get rejected.
“Hey,” Jared says, the moment he’s within earshot, “you didn't have to come.”
Jensen feels himself blush, “I wanted to.”
Jared’s smile grows impossibly bigger and he leans down to kiss Jensen. It's a soft and gentle kiss, over before Jensen's ready.
They stand there for a minute before Jared takes his hand and walks towards the exit.
“You know that rose is ridiculous, right? I know you said you were going to woo me but dude,” Jared says as they walk through the airport.
Jensen shrugs. “I know. Well, I realized after I bought it, but by then I already had it.”
He doesn't know when he developed this nervous babble.
“Next time, just bring a cup of coffee,” Jared says turning towards him when they get to the car. “So what did you plan for us today?”
“How did you know I had something planned?”
“Come on Jensen, I still know you.”
“Uh,” Jensen starts, all of a sudden doubting himself, “I was going to drive you home, cook you dinner. I'm guessing you're tired, so I wanted to watch a movie.”
Jared pulls Jensen close, and kisses him deeply. “That sounds awesome,” Jared breathes against Jensen's lips.
“Yeah? I didn't think you'd have anything edible at home so I brought groceries.” Jensen says opening his car.
Jared sighs when he gets in. “You are awesome.”
They drive in silence, and Jensen smiles softly to himself when his hand find Jared's, and he links their fingers together.
When they get to Jared's home, Jensen tells Jared to go unpack his bags while he starts dinner.
When Jared comes into the kitchen, Jensen is humming to himself while he tosses an onion into the stir-fry he is making. Jared steps up behind him, wraps his arms around him and kisses his neck. Jensen forgets the years that have come between them and is thrown back four years as soon as he feels Jared’s hard body
“Hey Jay. Dinner is almost ready. You just sit down.”
Jensen puts the wok on the table and sits down across from Jared smiling softly, “So tell me how the location shoot was.”
Jared starts telling Jensen about his new movie and the director he is working with. Jensen sits back and listens to Jared babble. They finish eating at about the same time as Jared finishes telling his stories, and then Jared and Jensen clear the table together in silence.
It's easy between them, just like it had been before. Only this time Jensen knows to appreciate and cherish it. Jared starts losing focus halfway through the movie and, when Jensen has to rouse him, he decides to call it a day. They spend half an hour at the door kissing each other goodbye. All in all, he considers it a good date.
***
“So now the two of you are together?” Chad asks, in disbelief.
Jared shakes his head. “No, we’re just dating. I'm not going to just start something with him again. He didn't have to work for it the first time; this time will be different.”
Chad nods. Chad is the only person who kind of knows what went down with Jensen. Well, maybe that isn’t exactly true. Chad thinks Jared and Jensen only hooked up once, and Jared was too ashamed to tell him everything. He was ashamed of the way he almost gave up everything for a man who was never really his.
“So he takes you out and buys you flowers and shit?” Chad asks.
Jared feels a blush creep up his face, because, despite it being extremely girly, that's exactly what Jensen had been doing. Jared had thought that Jensen had been joking when he had said that he was going to woo Jared. But it seems like Jensen is determined to make up for lost time. For the past month, Jensen had been the perfect gentlemen. If Jared was honest with himself, he has to admit he kind of likes it. It makes him feel special in a way that being with Jensen never has before.
“He does, doesn't he?” Chad says, clearly surprised, and then his face turns serious. “Well you deserve it.”
Jared nods. After Jared cut it off with Jensen, things had been rough, but Chad had been there for everything. Even though Chad came to live in Vancouver for a month or two, Jared never really gave the other man an explanation for his depression. Now Jared is thinking that maybe Chad knew a bit more that he was letting on.
“Yeah I like to think so. Another beer?” Jared asks, trying to change the topic.
Chad nods. “Yeah and when you get back you can tell me all about the dates. But leave the kinky sex stuff out of it yeah?”
Jared nods; there was no kinky sex stuff to tell. As he said before, they have been taking it slow. Not that Jared didn't want to have sex, but it was nice just to hang out together. After that one night they haven't slept together, and all they have been doing is going to out to dinner and, a couple times, staying at Jensen's or Jared’s to watch a movie. Of course, there was making out involved, but Jensen always stopped before things went too far.
“So tell me,” Chad says when he walks back into the living room with two beer and four tequila shots. “Are you Mrs. Ackles or is he Mrs. Padalecki?”
Jared growls, and throws a napkin at his friend.
At the end of the night, Jared is more than a little bit drunk when he goes home. He can't stop thinking about Jensen. He tries not to, but he can’t help but wonder what they are to each other. He wants Jensen to be his boyfriend. He never had the guts to tell him.
He's so busy thinking about Jensen that he doesn't realize he gave the cab driver Jensen's address until he's in front of Jensen's house.
All the lights are out, but the cab has already left so it seems as if he doesn't have much of a choice but to wake Jensen up. It takes almost five minutes of leaning on the doorbell before Jensen finally opens.
Jared smiles when he sees his boyfriend looking all confussed and cute. Then he starts thinking about the boyfriend part again.
“Are you my boyfriend?” is out of his mouth before he can stop himself.
“What?” Jensen asks, with a cute little frown on his forehead.
Jared pushes him aside to get to Jensen's couch, suddenly feeling dizzy. Jensen sits down next to him.
“Jared?”
Jared lets his head roll towards Jensen, and leans back against the couch.
“What are you doing here? Other than asking me if I'm you boyfriend?” Jensen asks.
Jared looks at him before leaning in to Jensen side and kissing him deeply, the way he’s wished Jensen would do many times. He manhandles Jensen so that Jensen is lying on the couch before Jared crawls on top of him.
“Hmm, missed this,” Jared murmurs into Jensen's mouth, letting his hand roam over the other man's body.
“Jay, baby you have to stop. You're drunk and you don't want this, at least not now,” Jensen says when Jared's wandering hands reach his belt.
Jared opens his mouth to protest but the movement makes the room spin and bile rises in his throat. He makes a dash for the bathroom to throw up.
***
Jared wakes up the next day with a splitting headache. When he sits up and looks around, he sees Jensen lying next to him. God, he had been so stupid yesterday. He should have known better than to show up at Jensen's door drunk off his ass.
“Hey,” he says, embarrassed.
“We have to stop ending up like this,” Jensen says smirking a bit. “How are you feeling?”
“Like a fool.”
Jensen smiles at him. “So I take it you remember everything?”
Jared nods hiding his face in the pillow.
“Good,” Jensen says pulling Jared so that he's facing him. “You know Jay you don't have to be drunk to be honest with me.”
Jared looks up at Jensen. The other man looks sincere and a bit sad.
“I like to think that we are better at this, now. That we can talk about the way things are progressing in our relationship.
Jared blinks at Jensen. “Our relationship?” he questions.
Jensen nods, and pulls Jared against him so that Jared’s head rests on Jensen shoulder. “I'd like to think that's what we have. That this is what we are choosing to start.”
Jared did not expect that level of maturity from Jensen. Something has changed over the years, and it comes as a relief, since Jared has apparently lost his nerve to talk about relationships.
“Yeah, I'm sorry for storming in like that.”
“It’s okay, Jay,” Jensen says, nudging Jared so that they can kiss.
After a couple of minutes, Jensen pulls back, smirking. “Now I’m going to make you some breakfast,” Jensen says, pushing of the bed and walking out of the bedroom.
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