pregnancy insanity
"Pregnancy Insanity" is the head or subhead of one of the chapters in a pregnancy humor book I've read and it's a pretty apt term. I think I'm in the throes of it now. I just put a pizza in the oven but I don't even think I'm hungry.
The rib pain seems to be connected to Braxton Hicks contractions; I just noticed that whenever I have rib pain, I'm actually having contractions too. (You can feel contractions from the outside because the belly gets hard during the contraction and then softens when it's done.)
I'm really hoping this is not true though and it's just growing pains from my rib cage expanding (which I know has also happened) and thus will end soon, because I don't want ten more weeks of this.
But yeah, my hormones in general just feel like I've bought a one-way ticket to crazy town. I cried at church on Sunday because the man sitting in front of us (me + the two toddlers, husband in choir loft) asked--in a totally polite and non-nasty way--if I could get LB to stop kicking his feet. I didn't even notice he was doing it (he was, from my angle, sitting quietly on the kneeler, and I was preoccupied with keeping Pippa happy), but actually that was what made me cry--I felt completely incompetent, because I thought things had been going pretty well and OMG how could I not NOTICE I am a FAILURE weep weep weep.
And I cried today because Pippa hit me with a toy and it really hurt (it was a toy phone and she got me on the eyebrow ridge). I put her in time out and then burst into tears, which probably upset Pippa more than the time out. She wanted lots of hugs when time out was over and said sorry.
I'm definitely being very short with her, I know, but it's hard. It feels like the more I need a break, the more she tries to connect with me, and the more hounded I feel and retreat, and the more she then approaches, etc. Like, she's always been a pretty self-entertaining kid, and definitely ok with me using the bathroom or whatever by myself. But now she starts calling "Moooooommmmmmmyyy! Loooooooooo! Okay, Mommy?" whenever I'm out of her sight. Even when I've told her "I'm going to the bathroom." I'm just glad I have a babygate so she can't follow me into the bathroom, which is a phenomenon that is supposed to be very common, at least in the online mom-o-sphere.
She also always wants to sit on me/by me, instead of running around all over the place and doing stuff. This is extra uncomfortable with the rib pain and results in me getting VERY touched-out by the end of the day.
Oh, the other thing is that ever since we got back from Disney World she's been calling me Mommy instead of Mama. I don't know if she got that from my parents (who definitely refer to me as "mommy") or heard other kids at the park calling their mothers that or what. I don't think it's media, because she doesn't watch a lot of TV and what she does is either older kids using "Mom" or "Mum". Truth be told, it kind of bums me out a little. I like "Mama" better.
I think I'm going to half-heartedly eat 1/8 of this pizza, put the rest in the fridge, and then go read murder mysteries or plot actual murders or something.
The rib pain seems to be connected to Braxton Hicks contractions; I just noticed that whenever I have rib pain, I'm actually having contractions too. (You can feel contractions from the outside because the belly gets hard during the contraction and then softens when it's done.)
I'm really hoping this is not true though and it's just growing pains from my rib cage expanding (which I know has also happened) and thus will end soon, because I don't want ten more weeks of this.
But yeah, my hormones in general just feel like I've bought a one-way ticket to crazy town. I cried at church on Sunday because the man sitting in front of us (me + the two toddlers, husband in choir loft) asked--in a totally polite and non-nasty way--if I could get LB to stop kicking his feet. I didn't even notice he was doing it (he was, from my angle, sitting quietly on the kneeler, and I was preoccupied with keeping Pippa happy), but actually that was what made me cry--I felt completely incompetent, because I thought things had been going pretty well and OMG how could I not NOTICE I am a FAILURE weep weep weep.
And I cried today because Pippa hit me with a toy and it really hurt (it was a toy phone and she got me on the eyebrow ridge). I put her in time out and then burst into tears, which probably upset Pippa more than the time out. She wanted lots of hugs when time out was over and said sorry.
I'm definitely being very short with her, I know, but it's hard. It feels like the more I need a break, the more she tries to connect with me, and the more hounded I feel and retreat, and the more she then approaches, etc. Like, she's always been a pretty self-entertaining kid, and definitely ok with me using the bathroom or whatever by myself. But now she starts calling "Moooooommmmmmmyyy! Loooooooooo! Okay, Mommy?" whenever I'm out of her sight. Even when I've told her "I'm going to the bathroom." I'm just glad I have a babygate so she can't follow me into the bathroom, which is a phenomenon that is supposed to be very common, at least in the online mom-o-sphere.
She also always wants to sit on me/by me, instead of running around all over the place and doing stuff. This is extra uncomfortable with the rib pain and results in me getting VERY touched-out by the end of the day.
Oh, the other thing is that ever since we got back from Disney World she's been calling me Mommy instead of Mama. I don't know if she got that from my parents (who definitely refer to me as "mommy") or heard other kids at the park calling their mothers that or what. I don't think it's media, because she doesn't watch a lot of TV and what she does is either older kids using "Mom" or "Mum". Truth be told, it kind of bums me out a little. I like "Mama" better.
I think I'm going to half-heartedly eat 1/8 of this pizza, put the rest in the fridge, and then go read murder mysteries or plot actual murders or something.