sleep problems part 181717
There's an old story about Evelyn Waugh, in which some woman asked him why he was so nasty if he was Catholic, and he answered "Madam, you have no idea how much nastier I would be if I weren't."
I am currently 2.5 hours into "bedtime", and Pippa is sitting in her crib right next to me as I type this, looking miserable.
I am super frustrated and I was making things worse by second guessing every parenting decision I ever made, as well as shaking my figurative fist at God, because as you'll recall, literally the only thing I prayed about during my pregnancy was that Pippa would be an easy sleeper. I am back to being super pissed off at God about this.
I have struggled with sleep my entire life and it is the worst thing in the world, so believe me, when I say that's all I prayed for, it's because if I could change one thing about myself, that would be it. So that's what I want her spared from.
But at the same time, given that I had sleep problems right from babyhood, it's BS for me to agonize over every sleep approach decision I've made from Pippa's infancy.
Like Evelyn Waugh's inborn nastiness, there's a pretty good chance that I'm dealing with inborn sleep difficulties. So "Pippa has sleep difficulties" is not ipso facto a demonstration that I am making poor parenting decisions, anymore than "Evelyn Waugh was a big old jerk" disproves Catholicism.
Mostly I just want to vent because I HAD THINGS TO DO WITH THESE 2.5 HOURS, PIPPA.
It isn't like this every night. Many nights she goes down right away, wakes only once overnight, and is bright and sunshiny in the mornings. But those nights don't seem real after 2.5 hours of crying, whining, and climbing out of the crib (drat this extra-tall baby!). All that seems real right now is thinking she's finally asleep, trying to leave the room, and hearing crying, or seeing a pajama'd figure come toddling out, over and over and over again. Maybe it's the molars (3 have erupted, one to go). Maybe it's a growth spurt. Many it's sunspots.
She looks asleep now, so we'll see if I can make it out of the room.
Edit: Looks like a success. I recuperated by eating the entire quarter pound of organic cherries I purchased this afternoon at the farmer's market.
I am currently 2.5 hours into "bedtime", and Pippa is sitting in her crib right next to me as I type this, looking miserable.
I am super frustrated and I was making things worse by second guessing every parenting decision I ever made, as well as shaking my figurative fist at God, because as you'll recall, literally the only thing I prayed about during my pregnancy was that Pippa would be an easy sleeper. I am back to being super pissed off at God about this.
I have struggled with sleep my entire life and it is the worst thing in the world, so believe me, when I say that's all I prayed for, it's because if I could change one thing about myself, that would be it. So that's what I want her spared from.
But at the same time, given that I had sleep problems right from babyhood, it's BS for me to agonize over every sleep approach decision I've made from Pippa's infancy.
Like Evelyn Waugh's inborn nastiness, there's a pretty good chance that I'm dealing with inborn sleep difficulties. So "Pippa has sleep difficulties" is not ipso facto a demonstration that I am making poor parenting decisions, anymore than "Evelyn Waugh was a big old jerk" disproves Catholicism.
Mostly I just want to vent because I HAD THINGS TO DO WITH THESE 2.5 HOURS, PIPPA.
It isn't like this every night. Many nights she goes down right away, wakes only once overnight, and is bright and sunshiny in the mornings. But those nights don't seem real after 2.5 hours of crying, whining, and climbing out of the crib (drat this extra-tall baby!). All that seems real right now is thinking she's finally asleep, trying to leave the room, and hearing crying, or seeing a pajama'd figure come toddling out, over and over and over again. Maybe it's the molars (3 have erupted, one to go). Maybe it's a growth spurt. Many it's sunspots.
She looks asleep now, so we'll see if I can make it out of the room.
Edit: Looks like a success. I recuperated by eating the entire quarter pound of organic cherries I purchased this afternoon at the farmer's market.