implementing a rule of life
So, I am trying to implement the concept of a Rule of Life in my life.
A Rule, in the monastic sense, is a set of guidelines for a religious community. The most important part of a Rule, as opposed to a mere schedule or set of laws, is its spirit. Different communities have different charisms (gifts) and goals, so their Rules are different because the underlying spirits are different. One community might have a spirit focused on serving the sick, another on teaching children, another on mission work, another on studying scripture, etc.
Applying the idea of a Rule to lay life isn't an innovation--after all, third order people (that is, lay associates of religious communities) have done it for hundreds of years, and there have even been purely lay movements with them--but the idea of the creation of one solely for your individual family is, I think, a new twist. The idea is from Holly Pierlot's book A Mother's Rule of Life.
So to begin with, I wrote myself a Spirit of My Rule:Spirit of My Mother’s Rule:
To love and serve God through my domestic church and vocation as wife and mother;
to be prudent in my choices;
to be just in my expectations of others and myself;
to be courageous in persisting with my tasks;
to be temperate in my indulgences and penances;
and to pray that God may grant me faith, hope and charity.
The example spirit in the book is a lot longer and quotes Mary's fiat, to which I was like "Oh great, how do I come up with something as good as that," but I'm kind of starting out slow here.
I also wrote up a basic daily... template more than schedule, I guess, for the time period when the baby is little. Rather than hours, it gives more general time periods such as "within an hour of waking for the day" and "morning". For example, the "evening" time slot says this:Mass if not already gone to and if day/health allows; snacks and naps as necessary; if nice weather, try to take a walk; before going to bed “for the night” (might be arbitrary) read a book to the baby, give baby massage, and spend at least 10 minutes in night prayer
Again, this looks much different from the daily schedule in the book, which is drawn up along hours and is geared toward her family wherein the youngest member is about four, so all the children have their own columns with schedules and chores. If I gave the baby her own column, every single box would likely contain "nurse or sleep or play or soil myself or spit up, as the whim takes me". That doesn't need a column.
I also wrote in some weekly tasks such as meal planning, and I made a chart for myself with all the Mass and confession times during the week for nearby parishes.
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The Husband is on nights now, so he's here for lunch. Today I made bacon asparagus cheddar omelets. They came out really well! I have never been very good at making omelets. My roommate the year before I got married was really good at them, and it's a skill I admire. The only issue with my omelets today is that they didn't fold that nicely (I tore them as I folded them) but they tasted perfect.
In the Nero Wolfe books they're always putting almonds and apricot jam into omelets, so I have to try that some time. One recipe is the "hedgehog omelet" where you take the slivered almonds and poke them into the finished omelet to look like bristles. That is so domestic crafty it almost makes me suspicious. It's like a spider sense, only instead of danger it senses the malign presence of Martha Stewart. "I feel a great disturbance in the domestic force, as if a million bathrooms had been suddenly color-coordinated..."
Edit: Also I am going to attempt to follow the Easter Challenge and for the 50 days of Easter, basically to intend joy. To focus on "whatever is good".
It seems to me more and more that the most naturally healthful life is a life that includes both fasting and feasting, both time for penance and time for indulgence, both scrutiny of the bad and celebration of the good. This is a time period that is, over all, for the feasting, the indulgence, and the celebration. Certainly there will be periods of relative lowness in it (like Fridays other than this Friday) but that is just as there are period of relative highness in Lent (like Sundays). As Christians we have to embrace both the cross and the resurrection. One without the other gets us into big trouble.
A Rule, in the monastic sense, is a set of guidelines for a religious community. The most important part of a Rule, as opposed to a mere schedule or set of laws, is its spirit. Different communities have different charisms (gifts) and goals, so their Rules are different because the underlying spirits are different. One community might have a spirit focused on serving the sick, another on teaching children, another on mission work, another on studying scripture, etc.
Applying the idea of a Rule to lay life isn't an innovation--after all, third order people (that is, lay associates of religious communities) have done it for hundreds of years, and there have even been purely lay movements with them--but the idea of the creation of one solely for your individual family is, I think, a new twist. The idea is from Holly Pierlot's book A Mother's Rule of Life.
So to begin with, I wrote myself a Spirit of My Rule:Spirit of My Mother’s Rule:
To love and serve God through my domestic church and vocation as wife and mother;
to be prudent in my choices;
to be just in my expectations of others and myself;
to be courageous in persisting with my tasks;
to be temperate in my indulgences and penances;
and to pray that God may grant me faith, hope and charity.
The example spirit in the book is a lot longer and quotes Mary's fiat, to which I was like "Oh great, how do I come up with something as good as that," but I'm kind of starting out slow here.
I also wrote up a basic daily... template more than schedule, I guess, for the time period when the baby is little. Rather than hours, it gives more general time periods such as "within an hour of waking for the day" and "morning". For example, the "evening" time slot says this:Mass if not already gone to and if day/health allows; snacks and naps as necessary; if nice weather, try to take a walk; before going to bed “for the night” (might be arbitrary) read a book to the baby, give baby massage, and spend at least 10 minutes in night prayer
Again, this looks much different from the daily schedule in the book, which is drawn up along hours and is geared toward her family wherein the youngest member is about four, so all the children have their own columns with schedules and chores. If I gave the baby her own column, every single box would likely contain "nurse or sleep or play or soil myself or spit up, as the whim takes me". That doesn't need a column.
I also wrote in some weekly tasks such as meal planning, and I made a chart for myself with all the Mass and confession times during the week for nearby parishes.
---
The Husband is on nights now, so he's here for lunch. Today I made bacon asparagus cheddar omelets. They came out really well! I have never been very good at making omelets. My roommate the year before I got married was really good at them, and it's a skill I admire. The only issue with my omelets today is that they didn't fold that nicely (I tore them as I folded them) but they tasted perfect.
In the Nero Wolfe books they're always putting almonds and apricot jam into omelets, so I have to try that some time. One recipe is the "hedgehog omelet" where you take the slivered almonds and poke them into the finished omelet to look like bristles. That is so domestic crafty it almost makes me suspicious. It's like a spider sense, only instead of danger it senses the malign presence of Martha Stewart. "I feel a great disturbance in the domestic force, as if a million bathrooms had been suddenly color-coordinated..."
Edit: Also I am going to attempt to follow the Easter Challenge and for the 50 days of Easter, basically to intend joy. To focus on "whatever is good".
It seems to me more and more that the most naturally healthful life is a life that includes both fasting and feasting, both time for penance and time for indulgence, both scrutiny of the bad and celebration of the good. This is a time period that is, over all, for the feasting, the indulgence, and the celebration. Certainly there will be periods of relative lowness in it (like Fridays other than this Friday) but that is just as there are period of relative highness in Lent (like Sundays). As Christians we have to embrace both the cross and the resurrection. One without the other gets us into big trouble.