bongos. pork. parenting.
I ended up going to Mass by myself in the afternoon, since I was feeling better by then. I went to the neighborhood, walkable parish rather than taking the bus to our registered parish. Sometimes I feel a little guilty about not attending our geographic parish and helping it out, especially because I get the sense that the priests there are really trying to turn around a place that had become really stagnant. (Not so long ago, they put laminated flyers in all the pews with helpful tips like "please don't eat in the pews during Mass", so we're really talking square one here.)
There is a lot we love about our parish but probably one of the biggest things is something that as far as I know no other parish in our area has, and that's a choral group that has irregular rehearsals. For The Husband this is absolutely critical because his work schedule is always different. Not just that he has different days off, but he works mornings, mid-shifts, and closing shifts. He simply can't commit to any standard time; his standing request to have Sundays off is frequently disregarded. Being able to participate in the musical life of the parish makes such a big difference in his spiritual health. I really noticed an improvement when he began participating in the schola (this was when we were still dating).
Anyway, The Husband offered to attend Mass with me, even though he had already been that morning, but I told him it was ok, to just stay home, and I'm glad I did, because while for me the musical selections were just a bit distracting/irritating, I know they would have really ruined his mood. Let's just say that bongos figured heavily. I find it very difficult to pray when bongos are being played in the background, even if those bongos are gamely attempting a "meditative" mood. I think it was worse because of course it's Holy Week and thus the scripture readings and so on are all very solemn, but the music selections were jarringly upbeat to begin with and Mr./Ms. Bongo was jamming away merrily throughout. The Agnus Dei in particular, not only was it very poppy, they actually did a key change up for the third repetition, which to my mind's ear was like someone shouting "One more time! Lamb of Gooooooooood..."
Of course most important of all Jesus was there, and I'm glad I went. But aesthetics do matter because matter matters. We as Catholics should know that. We're not incorporeal. We have senses.
Anyway, because of aforementioned schedule thing, we can help/be involved at our parish much more than we could this one, even though it's closer, but it is nice to have the music assist one in developing the proper spiritual focus, rather than being something that one has to try to block out. I am distractable enough without that.
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The peanut butter pork tasted amazing! I had three helpings which is something that never happens. I even just had a little bit more as a snack just now. The Husband was more neutral about it. He ate it and professed satisfaction but he didn't seem to find it as amazing as I did.
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I was reading a blog about trying to schedule your life as a mother, and one of the comments has the secret (perhaps) behind one of those things that I at least admire so much about the moms with eleven children and every single one is super well behaved. Here's the quote:
"Teach the preschool kids how to sit still. Starting with one minute increments have them sit in a chair on a stool or on a favorite blanket. Start small and have the goal of being able to sit for 30 min within six months or so. They can't get up, and if they do twice, stop. Do it once or twice a day. It's not punishment so be a cheerleader. You have to be high school drama club type excited, it is worth feeling silly. I started this with my oldest and each kid starts at around 18 mos. I can go to the post office, line the kids up on the bench and know each kid will sit still and quiet the whole time. It never ceases to amaze people, but it takes practice (MONTHS of practice!) and a very cheerful Mommy to do it!"
BRILLIANT. I'm totally going to do that.
The commenter also stresses that with big families, you have to make sure that your children are independent: self-soothing, creative, imaginative, and able to come up with their own plans and ideas.
I own the book and I'm a little daunted about putting it into practice, but the author does seem like a really reasonable person. I get so anxious about not being good enough as a housewife that it really makes a difference to read things like:You have a new little baby who simply needs your relaxed loving presence. THIS is what God asks of you right now... There is no other important job to do right now - In the scheme of your married life, your baby comes above your housework... Don't try to create an artificial schedule as a rule of life right now. A rule only works when it works within the context of family life as your family manifests it... And as for God - talk to Him when you nurse. This will provide many many opportunities for you to converse with Him. He is not sitting in the sky saying "Because you are a Mom, you cannot pray to me now." In fact, he is saying the opposite, "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers and sisters, that you do unto me." Thus, however you would wish to treat Christ, you can now treat your baby, as Christ is within him.
There is a lot we love about our parish but probably one of the biggest things is something that as far as I know no other parish in our area has, and that's a choral group that has irregular rehearsals. For The Husband this is absolutely critical because his work schedule is always different. Not just that he has different days off, but he works mornings, mid-shifts, and closing shifts. He simply can't commit to any standard time; his standing request to have Sundays off is frequently disregarded. Being able to participate in the musical life of the parish makes such a big difference in his spiritual health. I really noticed an improvement when he began participating in the schola (this was when we were still dating).
Anyway, The Husband offered to attend Mass with me, even though he had already been that morning, but I told him it was ok, to just stay home, and I'm glad I did, because while for me the musical selections were just a bit distracting/irritating, I know they would have really ruined his mood. Let's just say that bongos figured heavily. I find it very difficult to pray when bongos are being played in the background, even if those bongos are gamely attempting a "meditative" mood. I think it was worse because of course it's Holy Week and thus the scripture readings and so on are all very solemn, but the music selections were jarringly upbeat to begin with and Mr./Ms. Bongo was jamming away merrily throughout. The Agnus Dei in particular, not only was it very poppy, they actually did a key change up for the third repetition, which to my mind's ear was like someone shouting "One more time! Lamb of Gooooooooood..."
Of course most important of all Jesus was there, and I'm glad I went. But aesthetics do matter because matter matters. We as Catholics should know that. We're not incorporeal. We have senses.
Anyway, because of aforementioned schedule thing, we can help/be involved at our parish much more than we could this one, even though it's closer, but it is nice to have the music assist one in developing the proper spiritual focus, rather than being something that one has to try to block out. I am distractable enough without that.
---
The peanut butter pork tasted amazing! I had three helpings which is something that never happens. I even just had a little bit more as a snack just now. The Husband was more neutral about it. He ate it and professed satisfaction but he didn't seem to find it as amazing as I did.
---
I was reading a blog about trying to schedule your life as a mother, and one of the comments has the secret (perhaps) behind one of those things that I at least admire so much about the moms with eleven children and every single one is super well behaved. Here's the quote:
"Teach the preschool kids how to sit still. Starting with one minute increments have them sit in a chair on a stool or on a favorite blanket. Start small and have the goal of being able to sit for 30 min within six months or so. They can't get up, and if they do twice, stop. Do it once or twice a day. It's not punishment so be a cheerleader. You have to be high school drama club type excited, it is worth feeling silly. I started this with my oldest and each kid starts at around 18 mos. I can go to the post office, line the kids up on the bench and know each kid will sit still and quiet the whole time. It never ceases to amaze people, but it takes practice (MONTHS of practice!) and a very cheerful Mommy to do it!"
BRILLIANT. I'm totally going to do that.
The commenter also stresses that with big families, you have to make sure that your children are independent: self-soothing, creative, imaginative, and able to come up with their own plans and ideas.
I own the book and I'm a little daunted about putting it into practice, but the author does seem like a really reasonable person. I get so anxious about not being good enough as a housewife that it really makes a difference to read things like:You have a new little baby who simply needs your relaxed loving presence. THIS is what God asks of you right now... There is no other important job to do right now - In the scheme of your married life, your baby comes above your housework... Don't try to create an artificial schedule as a rule of life right now. A rule only works when it works within the context of family life as your family manifests it... And as for God - talk to Him when you nurse. This will provide many many opportunities for you to converse with Him. He is not sitting in the sky saying "Because you are a Mom, you cannot pray to me now." In fact, he is saying the opposite, "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers and sisters, that you do unto me." Thus, however you would wish to treat Christ, you can now treat your baby, as Christ is within him.