today..........everyday.............is fuck for me
alright its been a billion years since ive updated. i really am screwed up lately. i havent been to college in over a week. i cant tell my mom anything she will hate me so much. everyday i wake up and act like im going to school and i drive to school and because i hate it and i have missed so much and im so far behind i cant walk through the doors so i just sleep in my car for four hours till i have to work. im living a lie. another thing. jesse and rakel broke up which is good for him. she slept with some army guy and cheated on him. fuck that. im sick of these fuckin macho dudes coming around and stealin up all the respectable thoughtful dudes women. when it comes down to it id fuckin knock a hole in any stupid fucks head if they ever slept with my girl, or hurt one of my friends. im not a violent person but i love my friends and if i think someone needs an ass beating ill serve it up. im getting into the Vivid crew real deep lately. i think itll be like 5 more months till they make me get a job there. i think i brought in like 5 grand worth of business to them and im not even a sales employee. i mean i moderate the forums and i write small articles but other than that i dont work there. thats mostly contracted shit. also. i want to make my mom happy and pass this semester and i wanted to drop until i realized that if im not a full time student now i dont have any medical help. and with my luck as soon as i lost my coverage id get into a sitaution and not have any insurance and id be fucked. i really hope things dont blow up to big even tho they will when my grades come in, but i want to have my friends there for me. the more and more i talk to people the more and more i realize i love them. call it strange but i like being a part of peoples lives it makes me feel important. who knows, i think i should be a teacher or something. that would be an easy job. id be one of those cool teachers you remember your whole life. who knows. so a little breakdown of what i have missed at school, two count them two macroeconomic tests, two math tests, a whole english portfolio, two logic tests, and two speeches. not to mention like a million classes in between. i found that sleep is the only time i can escape this impending doom that is my life. my gay ass boss told me i couldnt have thanksgiving weekend off and now i can only see my dad and little brother for 1 fucking day. i might just not show up fuck that mother fucker. random and angry and fucked up as usual im done with this post. peace