(no subject)
and then sam goes and does something nice and sweet. she treated me like i was a friend. recently i only get that when we chill alone. or when chrissy.s not around. because her attention is focused on her. and then i get sad. an moody. an then she is even more mean to me. but last night was cool. i got her attention. i want so badly to still be the one for her. i just don't understand how she got over me so fast and i'm still stuck on her. i don't want to let her go and slip out of my life. but i sure as hell can't handle her with anyone else. i'll never be able to deal with seeing it or knowing it or hearing about it. i can't sleep if i'm not drunk or stoned. i toss an turn in bed all night just thinking of all the times chrissy and sam have done shit. i hear their groans on my bed. i think of all the times sam has jumped away from chrissy when they were sitting close and i came home. and how she cuddles with chrissy. i just wish there was a way to sweep her off her feet again. yea i'm working my ass off...