This Wednesday Post! So Stout! So Opinionated! So Numerally Presented!
(Onward Minnesota, Onward North Dakota, Onward Black Hills & Little Bighorn, We Drive Through Your Confines On Our Way To Judith Gap!)
Four things to remember when traveling on Interstates 90 and/or 94 for 12 hours at a time:
- It can get very windy on the high plains. For instance, when driving into said wind, expect gas mileage to be very bad. Plan to fill up more often than usual. Also, keeping a constant speed of 80 mph in terrible crosswinds without cruise control is not only difficult, but terrifyingly dangerous. Passing semi-trucks in these conditions should merit something other than post-adrenaline, near-tears, breathless relief. Badges, maybe. Or perhaps, cash prizes.
- Passing a pair of Amish buggies being towed on a flat-bed truck should not be amusing enough to start one into uncontrollable fits of untamed laughter. Oddly enough, it may. Solitary driving conditions and massive amounts of caffeinated beverages could be to blame.
- Filling up when the gas tank reaches a quarter full is not a sign of weakness. It is merely a sign that gas stations cannot be spotted every couple of minutes (or every hour for that matter). It may also be a sign that you are possibly in God-forsaken country. Check your road map or the absence of human/animal life for confirmation.
- Never, ever, ever, never, ever eat a gas station sandwich. I cannot implore you enough. No matter how hungry you are, no matter how far away the "eat by" date is, do not do it. Have a twinkie. Have a slim jim. Wait for as long as it takes to find something else. This is a matter of utmost import and should not be violated under any circumstances!
- The police in Minnesota will pull you over for going 10 mph over the speed limit. But, they will be very conversational and chatty. However, being conversational and chatty back will not get you out of a speeding ticket. It was a nice try, though.
End Scene