(no subject)
God today was cold as fuck. Like really cold. Like I wanted to freeze to the ground and die cold. Okay, maybe it wasn't that cold but it was still cold as shit. I almost fell like 1043985045803245 times while pushing carts. I know I don't have that great of balance, but shit c'mon.
Tosha was a total douche to me on the phone today. It hurt alot actually. I called her before I went to work and asked if she had any company. She said no that we could talk. I woke up missing her so bad today, like seriously just laying in bed crying because I miss her so much and about the whole situation. Well on the phone I start pouring my heart out to her. She's heard my feelings before, so it was nothing new, but it was still very meaningful to me for her to hear it. She told me that she had to go. I asked why and she said that she was watching a movie and that she couldn't concentrate on it. Yup, that hurt a fucking lot. I don't know if she just didn't want to start crying too or if her fucking boyfriend was there. If it was the latter and I find out then I'm going to be seriously pissed.
She said she'd call me tonight.... I'm waiting.
I love her so much. I wish this shit would just go the direction it needs to. I doubt it will though. Things never do go the way you need them to. They always just come back to bite you in the ass, get infected, let you feel every pulse of your heart and stick around to constantly remind you of how shitty your pathetic little life is.
I think it's time to lay in bed with my bottle of Everclear... that sounds like it will warm me up. Or at least put me to sleep.
Tosha was a total douche to me on the phone today. It hurt alot actually. I called her before I went to work and asked if she had any company. She said no that we could talk. I woke up missing her so bad today, like seriously just laying in bed crying because I miss her so much and about the whole situation. Well on the phone I start pouring my heart out to her. She's heard my feelings before, so it was nothing new, but it was still very meaningful to me for her to hear it. She told me that she had to go. I asked why and she said that she was watching a movie and that she couldn't concentrate on it. Yup, that hurt a fucking lot. I don't know if she just didn't want to start crying too or if her fucking boyfriend was there. If it was the latter and I find out then I'm going to be seriously pissed.
She said she'd call me tonight.... I'm waiting.
I love her so much. I wish this shit would just go the direction it needs to. I doubt it will though. Things never do go the way you need them to. They always just come back to bite you in the ass, get infected, let you feel every pulse of your heart and stick around to constantly remind you of how shitty your pathetic little life is.
I think it's time to lay in bed with my bottle of Everclear... that sounds like it will warm me up. Or at least put me to sleep.