(no subject)

[dunxdunxweexwee]

Me and Tosha have this open door type thing between us. Where we tell eachother what's going on in our lives and stuff. Well a couple weeks ago I learned about her new boyfriend. Needless to say my emotions are quite mixed. She says she will only ever love me, and that we'll be back together next year at Chickisha. If this is the case though why would she get involved with some guy. I don't understand. Of all the bitching and stuff I do about never having a date I'm being such a hypocrite about this. But I know I could never actually get involved with someone other than her. I could go on a date and stuff but I could never get to the point where we are together. I hate that she feels different than me on this subject. It's really quite difficult thinking about her without him popping in my head now. What's even worst is that he is a cool guy. So natural attempts of the he's horrible to her type stuff doesnt work. He used to be mean to her but he no longer is. This is still reason enough in my mind to slit his throat. Actually in my mind I would love to slit his throat for even touching her. But I refrain. I just love her so much and I've lost her more times than should have ever happened. I don't want it to happen again, because quite frankly she is the only girl I care about. She is the only person I truly love enough to want to spend the rest of my life with. This I am positive of.

Fuck this fucked up situation.

I want my laptop already. Damn 3 days until christmas shit.