Not my circus. Not my monkeys.
Well let’s see… It’s 2014. So far this year I haven’t smoked a pack of cigarettes in less than two days. I haven’t slept with any married women (or unmarried women). It’s 2:45 in the morning and I’m sober, completely. I even paid off my latest car loan BEFORE the car has broken down again (imagine that?!).
So... Everything’s going nicely. In fact, half an hour ago I was dozing off, when the phone rang.
A “blocked call” normally means telemarketer. At 2:30 in the morning it could mean something else. A loved one could have been in an accident and has borrowed a cell phone from another person and it automatically “blocks” the sender’s id. Maybe.
In this case it was Tommy. Calling in an attempt to bring me up to date with what he has found out about his ex. As shocking as that sounds, I wasn’t interested. I dealt with my feelings for her for nearly three years before realizing I did what I could to help her. I left those feelings behind when I found out (about a year ago) how severely she betrayed and slandered me.
So... Tommy tries to spout-off about Dawn this, Dawn that, blah blah blah. He's no better than she is. He's fathered two children (maybe more), and never sees any of them. Dawn has four children she never sees, sure. I figure it this way, people who have children but refuse to take care of them are either intensely mentally ill or just plain rotten.
I just hung-up and meant to try for sleep again, but I knew I would have burn this frustration off somehow. I'm not built to continuously enter relationships with people whom pretend to be someone else, people choosing to live in denial, people with a taste for the lifeblood of others.
I am what I appear to be. I'm a guy who enjoys life best when he is somewhat secure and stable. That's about all there is to me. Don't call me at 2:30 in the fucking morning because you're drunk and want to apologize for being an ass years ago. Don't call after you've been up all night smoking meth and you need a rational voice to help bring you down.
Shit, life is difficult enough without having to wonder what makes a woman give birth to two children and then walk away, and do it again before abandoning all sense of self worth and responsibility to four living human beings.
I cannot figure that out. I cannot help Dawn, and I cannot help Tommy with his incoherent babbling either.
I don't need to.
All I need to do is make my way through another 24 hours and call it a day, and try again.
So... Everything’s going nicely. In fact, half an hour ago I was dozing off, when the phone rang.
A “blocked call” normally means telemarketer. At 2:30 in the morning it could mean something else. A loved one could have been in an accident and has borrowed a cell phone from another person and it automatically “blocks” the sender’s id. Maybe.
In this case it was Tommy. Calling in an attempt to bring me up to date with what he has found out about his ex. As shocking as that sounds, I wasn’t interested. I dealt with my feelings for her for nearly three years before realizing I did what I could to help her. I left those feelings behind when I found out (about a year ago) how severely she betrayed and slandered me.
So... Tommy tries to spout-off about Dawn this, Dawn that, blah blah blah. He's no better than she is. He's fathered two children (maybe more), and never sees any of them. Dawn has four children she never sees, sure. I figure it this way, people who have children but refuse to take care of them are either intensely mentally ill or just plain rotten.
I just hung-up and meant to try for sleep again, but I knew I would have burn this frustration off somehow. I'm not built to continuously enter relationships with people whom pretend to be someone else, people choosing to live in denial, people with a taste for the lifeblood of others.
I am what I appear to be. I'm a guy who enjoys life best when he is somewhat secure and stable. That's about all there is to me. Don't call me at 2:30 in the fucking morning because you're drunk and want to apologize for being an ass years ago. Don't call after you've been up all night smoking meth and you need a rational voice to help bring you down.
Shit, life is difficult enough without having to wonder what makes a woman give birth to two children and then walk away, and do it again before abandoning all sense of self worth and responsibility to four living human beings.
I cannot figure that out. I cannot help Dawn, and I cannot help Tommy with his incoherent babbling either.
I don't need to.
All I need to do is make my way through another 24 hours and call it a day, and try again.