Bugging thoughts
I am a rather difficult person to get along with. Prideful, blunt, honest, definitely NOT two faced, what you see is basically what you get. I get tired pretending that people are not hurting my feelings or that people are not being mean to me. I don't care if you pick and choose amongst friends. I find the level of self absorption very... revealing. So I spend my time with my family. I enjoy my free/down time, drama and stress free. It's relaxing.
Going out with my husband is enough to entertain me. Some people say, you have to have a life beyond your family. Some say, once you are married, you friends floats away or once your friends are married, they are pretty much gone from your life. I've seem it going both ways. A typical Malay, expects their newly wed husband/wife to be their entire world. Sure they do go out to meet people and such, but they don't desperately carve time away from their spouse.
On the other hand, a lot of articles now days encourage the husband and wife to develope their own little corner in life. Keeps things interesting. Stops your spouse from feeling like you are constantly around and dependant on him/her. I wonder... doesn't this encourage them to grow apart? Sometimes you are so busy with your part of life, you forget the person you married, and one day wake up wondering, who is this stranger that I am married to.
I will be on my laptop doing my LJ thing, my readings, sometimes game, online shopping... A few feet away, my husband is on his puter, playing games, studying, lvling my char, reading something. If you ask me if we are constantly together, I'd say, yep! but we are not constantly in each other's face. Occasionally he wanders over to see what I'm doing and when my feet falls asleep, I'd stagger over to check on who he's gaming with, how far into the lvls are our characters, what are the new quests that we can do.
Of course, we go out, but since I've twisted my foot repeatedly right before my wedding till the honeymoon, I am not much of a walker. I work 5 days a week, more then 10 hours a day out of the house. On weekends, forgive my for not wanting to face the traffic as I do the other 5 days. Although nowdays Cory drives me around on weekends, I get car sick a LOT! So it's not worth all that going out if I am going to be dog sick for the rest of the day.
Work on the other hand has picked up. It's the season, baby! woot woot! Sometimes I drag my poor husband to the office on weekends and public holidays so that I can finish work. Deadlines which belongs to our head office, consistently change at their whim and fancy. I mean, who really care about the poor minions that has to do it, right?
Sometimes I think to myself, 'Is this worth all that I put into?' Being nice? Being kind? Being thoughtful? I recently got a forwarded email about a blind horse and a horse with a bell on the tail who leads the blind horse. Of course it's from the person who constantly gets me in his face for not doing work. Trying to guilt me into feeling sorry for him? Hell no! If you are going to talk big, walk it or bugger off. Spending work hours just floating around doing God knows what and then spending a lot of hours overtime is not productive. I might leave at 6 p.m. but I know for sure that I have done a lot of stuff and got them all off my back. I gave you 3 long weeks to finish something and ended up having to overtime last minute cause that exactly the kind of person you are, last minute man.
Sometimes I feel that maybe I am better off to follow everyone's example. Shoot the breeze, talk a lot of crap and pretend that I know everything. Except for my damn pride! I'd be damned if I follow their pathetic existence. Money, money, money that is all that I hear from people but rarely do I hear, productivity, productivity, productivity. Always chasing after the latest trends, worshiping money, getting tied in knots over credit card debts.
*taps chin* Maybe I am really unkind after all. Expecting too much from people. Disappointing myself. Wanis asked me, 'why are we the 2 people who goes to work on public holiday? why don't we do what everyone else do?' I don't know, it's not like we are getting paid as much as we work anyways. It just makes me bitter to think about it.
I guess moving to the US will be another option that I can consider. Unlike a lot of people out there, I am not constantly in love with any country but mine. Australia, Canada, US or Britain, I prefer my little obscure life here in Malaysia. Provincial as it is, annoying as the kiasus are, I am pretty comfortable here. Instead of wanting to conquer the world, I choose to be happy. I like being happy in my little corner of the world.
Going out with my husband is enough to entertain me. Some people say, you have to have a life beyond your family. Some say, once you are married, you friends floats away or once your friends are married, they are pretty much gone from your life. I've seem it going both ways. A typical Malay, expects their newly wed husband/wife to be their entire world. Sure they do go out to meet people and such, but they don't desperately carve time away from their spouse.
On the other hand, a lot of articles now days encourage the husband and wife to develope their own little corner in life. Keeps things interesting. Stops your spouse from feeling like you are constantly around and dependant on him/her. I wonder... doesn't this encourage them to grow apart? Sometimes you are so busy with your part of life, you forget the person you married, and one day wake up wondering, who is this stranger that I am married to.
I will be on my laptop doing my LJ thing, my readings, sometimes game, online shopping... A few feet away, my husband is on his puter, playing games, studying, lvling my char, reading something. If you ask me if we are constantly together, I'd say, yep! but we are not constantly in each other's face. Occasionally he wanders over to see what I'm doing and when my feet falls asleep, I'd stagger over to check on who he's gaming with, how far into the lvls are our characters, what are the new quests that we can do.
Of course, we go out, but since I've twisted my foot repeatedly right before my wedding till the honeymoon, I am not much of a walker. I work 5 days a week, more then 10 hours a day out of the house. On weekends, forgive my for not wanting to face the traffic as I do the other 5 days. Although nowdays Cory drives me around on weekends, I get car sick a LOT! So it's not worth all that going out if I am going to be dog sick for the rest of the day.
Work on the other hand has picked up. It's the season, baby! woot woot! Sometimes I drag my poor husband to the office on weekends and public holidays so that I can finish work. Deadlines which belongs to our head office, consistently change at their whim and fancy. I mean, who really care about the poor minions that has to do it, right?
Sometimes I think to myself, 'Is this worth all that I put into?' Being nice? Being kind? Being thoughtful? I recently got a forwarded email about a blind horse and a horse with a bell on the tail who leads the blind horse. Of course it's from the person who constantly gets me in his face for not doing work. Trying to guilt me into feeling sorry for him? Hell no! If you are going to talk big, walk it or bugger off. Spending work hours just floating around doing God knows what and then spending a lot of hours overtime is not productive. I might leave at 6 p.m. but I know for sure that I have done a lot of stuff and got them all off my back. I gave you 3 long weeks to finish something and ended up having to overtime last minute cause that exactly the kind of person you are, last minute man.
Sometimes I feel that maybe I am better off to follow everyone's example. Shoot the breeze, talk a lot of crap and pretend that I know everything. Except for my damn pride! I'd be damned if I follow their pathetic existence. Money, money, money that is all that I hear from people but rarely do I hear, productivity, productivity, productivity. Always chasing after the latest trends, worshiping money, getting tied in knots over credit card debts.
*taps chin* Maybe I am really unkind after all. Expecting too much from people. Disappointing myself. Wanis asked me, 'why are we the 2 people who goes to work on public holiday? why don't we do what everyone else do?' I don't know, it's not like we are getting paid as much as we work anyways. It just makes me bitter to think about it.
I guess moving to the US will be another option that I can consider. Unlike a lot of people out there, I am not constantly in love with any country but mine. Australia, Canada, US or Britain, I prefer my little obscure life here in Malaysia. Provincial as it is, annoying as the kiasus are, I am pretty comfortable here. Instead of wanting to conquer the world, I choose to be happy. I like being happy in my little corner of the world.