still not riding that ride (continued)

[duerespectguv]

Declan's not the sort to snoop but he finishes his book after she's been gone for an hour or two and starts looking around for something else to read when a bound set of papers catches his attention. It's not a regular book, that much is clear, and as he starts flipping through it, it looks like a screenplay. With...Magnus and Zimmerman and Kate.

Declan puts it down, not really sure if he should keep reading or not without Kate's knowledge. Fuck. Just...fuck.

Out in the pure hell that is the island turned Magic Kingdom, Kate runs into Trip. He's not the last person she wants to see, since he can usually get a smile out of her, but he's not anyone she's looking for. She's actually not looking for anyone, just collecting up food to bring back (not home, they're still going home, both of them, together) for Declan.

Trip decides he needs to cheer her up, but she's real clear on the subject that cheering her up is a non-physical activity. At least, it's not a physical activity involving skin. He manages to talk her into a few games (which she wins, thanks very much), and gets a thanks, it was great, but there's someone else for his troubles. She made a promise, even if she hasn't promised him yet, and she's keeping it.

Part of her's more relaxed because of it on her way back, but the rest of her's ratcheted tight and all the shit she doesn't want to be thinking about or remembering is right up near the surface.

Declan moves from the script to a few baskets of things that are right out in the open. He's the worst sort of snoop, pawing through her things, and while he knows Kate's probably done the same or worse at his place, it's not his style. The baskets appear to be sewing things, though, and fabric she's presumably salvaged from things in the box. She's talented with a needle, actually, and it's one more thing he can add to the list of things that make up Kate Freelander. His Katie, more or less, and that just fucks him continually. Maybe one day she'll promise. Maybe one day soon.

When she gets to the door and Declan's pawing around in her crap, Kate freezes. Like most thieves and cons, she hates other people snooping. It's the height of hypocrisy, she knows, but it's made a little better by the fact that a thief who can get in and out with her crap actually earns her respect. She's juggling big cups of beer and fabric sacks of every food thing she could find. She ditched the crap she and Trip won in one of her hidey holes on the way back to the cabin (it's hidden under one of the monorail things for now), not because of trip, but sleeping with stuffed animals (which she does) is entirely too cutesy for Declan to know about right now.

She swallows her reactions to him pawing around because if she's thinking about next week and next month and she left him here alone, she needs to stop being over-protective about crap he's going to find out. "Hey, babe. Bored out of your mind yet?"

"Sorry, I was just...being a snoop. I apologize," Declan says, grinning sheepishly at her. He rubs one hand over the back of his neck, nervous, and nods toward the bags. "What's the haul, then? Anything particularly tasty?"

It's hypocrisy on her part, maybe, but he's not the sort of man to betray the trust of a woman he cares about and he's just done that, so it puts him out of sorts.

"Everything," Kate confirms and hands over the haul so she can come in and lace up her boots. Declan's acting off, which tells her she needs to look around for what he might have--

Oh. Shit. Fuck. She'd meant... oh hell. She's been planning to tell him. She just...didn't know how, and now...

"Uh, did you..." Her voice trails off and her hands ball awkwardly in her jacket now that she's got it off. "The script...did you read it?" Maybe she should pass it off as something Walter was writing, like the Adjuster movies.

"Yeah. Something about you and Magnus and some bloke named Jimmy. That's not the one that...your dad?" Declan asks, awkward about the whole thing. Is he fictional? Did someone find out their lives and decide to option it into a show, like Walter did with the comic book? It's all a little too much to think about right now and it's sort of hurting his head.

Shit. Kate sighs and nods, 'cause yeah, this is going to be awkward as fuck. She bends down and strips off her boots while she's telling him, "It's okay, you reading it. I was going to talk to you about it." Then she washes up quick from the basin of water she keeps for that (an idea she took from him, and from spending too much quality time with her fingers and not wanting them dirty).

"I'm shit at this talking people through stuff, but--" She rolls her shoulders and meets his gaze entirely too softly. It bugs her that he might be hurting and it might be her fault. "It's different with you."

"Let's lay down for a bit, then? Get comfortable?" He needs to be holding her while they talk about whether or not he's fictional and while he doesn't think it'll change anything about their relationship, the comfort and the knowledge that she's warm and real and right here is something he needs if he's going to wrap his head around this.

Part of her wants a little distance so much she can taste it. She sucks in her cheeks and bites at the inside of one and nods, though. It's important. She knows it is. If they're going to 'make a go of it', if she's not going to screw them up, she needs to be here for him, even if it's hard. "Okay, yeah," she tells him and goes to sit awkwardly on the futon-mat-thing that serves as a bed. She needs to make an indoor hammock for it, or find out how to get a bedframe around here.

Declan sits close but doesn't wrap his arms around her and he hopes that's not too stifling. He knows she's not...well, all right, she likes cuddling but only in some contexts and he imagines this isn't one.

"All right. What do you know?"

Kate sighs, sort of. It's a frustrated little huff of breath from everything combined, the amusement park, him snooping even though she's okay with it in theory, the script, the awkward, and the feelings she can't freaking stop feeling even though it'd be much easier if she could. She pushes at him, moving him back toward the wall of the hut for support so she can sit between his legs and lean against him, if he'll let her.

"Are you sure you want to know, Declan? It doesn't change anything."

"I like to go into things with eyes open," Declan says, shrugging. "It doesn't bother me if I'm fictional. I'm a bloody hero, after all, and that's not changing. Not unless this screenplay has me going on a Jack the Ripper spree later."

She tilts her head and smiles back across her shoulder at him. "If I say you're my hero, do you think that changes us from like paranormal to romance?" Her nose wrinkles, lips quirking at the suggestion, and she rubs her hands against his thighs. "I don't know if we're fictional. Kind of pisses me off if we are. I know stories need bad guys but if they made that shit up about my mom going into labor because of my dad, and...yeah. It kind of pisses me off that someone would make that up." Kate shrugs, though, leaning into him. "It's not exactly how I remember it, but it's close. Maybe they're making movies out of our lives, like Walter."

"Paranormal romance is a genre, Katie-love. I think you're allowed," Declan teases. He falls quieter, more serious. "I thought about Walter, actually, but Magnus will be pissed if they're putting our real names on this. She wants to keep us secret."

Katie-love. Her brain kind of shuts down there, between wanting to punch him and needing him to fuck her. She shifts, pulling her knees in and turning to put her shoulder against his chest instead. For a few minutes, she doesn't say anything but rubs slowly at the muscle beneath his collarbone. "We can't tell her, Declan," she says finally. "We just can't. I heard from some jackass there's maybe a show, and that's weird, but whatever. It doesn't matter. You and me, we're not going to pick that apart and freak out over what it means. It might suck sometimes, running into scripts or books or reels, but we'll deal. Magnus...you know she'll just lose it, how she is here."

"Yeah, we're not telling her," Declan agrees. The last thing they need is Magnus jumping off the deep-end. "So far as I'm concerned, you feel real enough to me and I don't need any empirical proof that I'm not a fictional character. I sort of don't want to know my future, no, but if it happens, I think I can deal with it."

"I don't even think it's really our future, if it doesn't happen here." Kate frowns, struggling with the theoretical crap. If it's not missile trajectory, science just isn't her thing. "It's some kind of a different timeline. Our future is what we choose from here, right?"

"I think you're right about that," Declan decides. "The course of our destiny isn't set in stone, can't be, because that eliminates free will. I don't know about you but I make my own choices, for good or bad, and I think that affects me more than fate or anything else."

He strokes her hair for a moment, soft and introspective right now. "Besides, taking this detour gave me you, didn't it?"

This is how Kate knows she's stupid over him: she lets him pet her and tucks her head against his shoulder. "Eventually I'd have jumped you at home, probably." She slides her hand under his shirt to feel his skin, then shrugs. "So we're agreed, we don't tell Will, Magnus and Tesla, if either of us finds out anything else, we work it out together, and I do my best not to make you crazy."

"Sounds agreeable to me," Declan says quietly. He tips her face up, though, because as nice as it is to be able to hold her he really wants to kiss her and possibly wants to kiss her more than he wants his next ten breaths.

Kissing Kate always feels a little bit like drowning, though, because he's never really been as into a woman as he is her.

That's all it takes. All it ever takes it seems like, Declan wanting to kiss her and heat rolls up over her like monsoon. Or a summer thunderstorm. Or--"Please," she murmurs, knowing he has to know what she wants. "Before there's nothing left in my brain but heat metaphors. Seriously. You're killing me with this, babe."

"You know I can't," Declan reminds her and he wants to break his own damn rules to change that. He wants her, badly, and he knows she wants him too. He's never really been a masochist until this particular relationship and he's not sure what it says about them that they're willing to keep to the rules even though it hurts.

"I want to, love, but I can't."

"I wasn't..." Kate sighs, frustration rolling off her with the heat. "I wasn't trying anything. I just want you to kiss me. I can't help that I light up like Disney at Christmas whenever you even think about touching me." Yeah, she wants him. She aches from wanting him. But he made the rules and she's trying to show him she cares by not trying to bend them.

"Promise me, Kate. Is there even anyone else you're interested in?" Declan asks, letting some of his own frustration out. "Is there anyone else who makes you light up like Christmas lights when they touch you? I just need to know what I'm up against, if anything, because I want you. I want you badly. And I just...I need you to help me understand."

"No," she whispers and kicks herself for how certain and how miserable she sounds. She ducks her chin again, bites the inside of her cheek while she watches her fingertips move against his skin. "There's no one else. Not like this. It's just...I only know one way to make sure I don't screw up and that's trying on the shoes and walking around in them before they're mine."

"So you're enjoying the fit, then?" Declan asks, extending her metaphor a little for the purposes of this conversation. He wants her to be happy with him more than he wants her to make him promises or have sex with him and he hopes she's coming to the conclusion that she wants him and just him while she's still in the relative safety of the trial period.

"I miss how we fit." That's tart and probably a little bratty but she does. It's been almost a month and even though it was awesome the other night with just their hands, Kate's not going to pretend she doesn't want to be naked and tangled and fucking. She sighs though and answers an apologetic, "Yeah, babe. I like us. It's good, even if it's kind of huge for me."

"It'll happen again someday. I promise," Declan says, kissing the top of her head lightly. "I don't give up...I'm stubborn. I'll win you over even if you don't want to be won, love. That's a promise I can guarantee. Do you trust my powers of persuasion?"

"Stop it, Declan. I'm not some wild thing you need to sweet-talk." Kate squirms away, too aroused from the promise of a kiss she didn't get, and irritable because of it and the goddamned amusement park music that is non-fucking-stop. "It's not your powers of persuasion that are at issue. It's me feeling comfortable enough with..." She shrugs, a tight roll of already tight shoulders, and glances past him, frowning softly. "A lot of things, to take a step I can't undo without destroying one of the only things that really matters to me."

"I'm sorry," Declan says after a moment. "Maybe I could try your way, I guess. It could technically be an open relationship, or at least open on your part. I'd hate it, mind, but I would much rather see you happy than pinned down and uncomfortable. The last thing I could ever want was to make you feel uncomfortable, Kate."

Kate sighs and shifts them around so she's straddling him. She needs him to see how serious she is when she's asking this question. "Is that what you think this is about? Me having sex with other people? Me wanting to have sex with other people?"

"I thought it was," Declan says, suddenly confused about the whole thing. "But I suspect I'm about to be told I'm an ass for something and I have no idea what it is. Can I say sorry and move on without the uncomfortable bit?" Probably not going to make it better but he hates being awkward with Kate.

Kate smiles, because he's really sweet when he thinks he's in trouble, and she leans forward to give him a quick kiss. It doesn't do anything to take the edge off her arousal, but she loves kissing him. "You're an ass, yeah. But I'm a bitch. So we're even."

She strokes her hand along his shoulder while she thinks and then just decides to tell him. "I haven't been with anyone else since the last time we got each other off. I'm not looking for other people to fuck. If anything happened with anyone else now, it would be just something that happened--" There's a little flash smile for him when she says, "Like me and Trixa fell in a tub of jello accidentally and licking it off each other just seemed like the thing to do." Mostly she's teasing, but that's the kind of stuff that hangs out as a problem. "The island's a pretty fucked up place, so I guess something like that could happen. But I kind of get the sense you wouldn't be as upset about it if I got with another chick, right?"

There's much more to this, and they'll get there in a few. It almost feels like she's getting decent at this talking to people (him) thing.

"No and that makes me even more of an ass. Even if I've never really...other than thinking about James, you being with a woman is no less than you being with a man objectively. Subjectively, it wouldn't bother me nearly as bad," Declan says, "And I know that makes me an ass and close-minded and a whole score of things that I really, really don't want getting out because I'm not that sort of man to make those sorts of judgments. I'm glad there's not been anyone else, though. Since...then."

Kate actually laughs a little at that and grins at him. "Nah. I would be much less stressed about you getting some with another guy than with some smokin' hot chick. Unless you invited me to share."

"Can't share you, love. That's the problem," Declan says, softer and more sincere now. "But we're working on the problem, at least, right?"

"That's kind of what I'm trying to tell you, babe. Sex with other people isn't really a problem now." Aidan had actually helped her see that. Aidan, and Greg, and Trip. Kate rests her forearms on his shoulders and her fingers tease at the ends of his hair. "I'm not shopping or just trying to keep my options open. You're just part of something I worked my ass off for. I don't want to fuck up everything else if I suck at being in a relationship. I..." Need to know where the exits are. "It's not the part about not having sex that's the problem. It's the promising. Can you just...maybe trust me for awhile without a promise and let me promise when I'm ready?"

"I don't know," Declan admits quietly. "Which isn't anything you've done to me and all about my own damage, I'm afraid. I want to say I can but what if you end up cheating on me because we don't have the lines drawn, you know? Somehow I trust if you make me a promise, you won't break it."

She gets it. Really. She wouldn't trust her either. With or without a promise. Kate tugs at her bottom lip with her teeth, then blows out a breath. "You know I could promise you the moon and make you believe in it, right?"

"I know," Declan says, touching her hair lightly. "But I also know you won't do that to me unless you actually have the moon in hand. You're different with me, Kate, than you are with anyone else. I need to keep that in mind."

"True, but not really my point." She frowns and rests her hand on his chest, trying to figure out why she keeps trying to talk about this. "Point is, if you were just some really great fuck that I wanted for awhile, I'd promise and not give a fuck whether it was true or not. I'd not give a fuck if I broke it either. That's how you know this is different, real, is I want you so bad my skin hurts, but I won't tell you what you want to hear."

"I'm glad you haven't," Declan admits softly. "I'm glad I mean enough to you that you wouldn't make me an empty promise for a few nights of fun. You mean more than that to me, too, and it would hurt to know it was all just one-sided. At least I know your feelings run deep, yeah?"

"Yeah, babe," Kate says way too softly. "They do." And it sucks to admit it. She feels all shaky and shit but he kept telling her a thousand different ways and maybe she just owes him.

Declan tugs her down closer and cups her face before leaning in close enough to kiss her. "I missed you like this, Katie. If I promise not to ask you for more than you can give, will you let me...?"

Her heart pretty much stops in her chest and heat crawls over her arms, into her face, flushing her chest. "Let you what, Declan?" Please let him want to fuck her, please. She's ready to beg already.

He answers with a kiss, slow and full of heat, while he lets his hand drift under her top to lay flat and warm against her lower back. It's bloody stupid, fucking her again, but he can't help it when he's just spent all this time laying with her in his arms and she was the most vulnerable he's ever seen her. He's a sucker for a vulnerable woman, doubly so with Kate since she's not normally like that. She doesn't normally let people in.

It starts the same as always, Kate coming unspooled into his kiss but she slams on the brakes because she can't, she can't, not unless... Hand on his chest, she pushes back to get some space, half-panting already. "You're sure? You're not going to change your mind halfway?" It's not an accusation, she's just this side of pleading.

"Not tonight, love. You've got me tonight," Declan promises. He can't speak for tomorrow, now, but right here and now he's not going to back down from what he's promised he'll give her. He needs her and needs to reassure himself that she's worth waiting for, no matter how long that might take. If it helps her along, only the better.

Eyes already dark with need, Kate catches her bottom lip in her teeth and nervously lets it out slow and licks the top one. All without even really being aware of it, she's so focused on him. He's giving her something she needs. She should... "I could...promise you no other guys?" If she leaves the door open just that much, maybe she won't feel trapped.

"I can accept that easily," Declan says, brushing his thumb against her lower lip. "No more men. The rest soon, when you're ready, but for now, that's enough for this." He's never been this fucked over a woman before her and Declan's pretty sure the sheer volatile nature of their relationship means the passion will burn bright and fast for a long time. It's got the power to last, this, and he wants it to.

There's been a knot, somewhere between her shoulderblades and a bowling ball in her stomach since he asked her to promise, and they start to loosen and fade as soon as he says so. She curls her tongue around his thumb and sucks it into her mouth, fast. It's not just provocation. She loves his hands, loves what they do for her. She'll worship them with her mouth as long as he lets her, most of the time. Tonight, she catches it in her teeth after a few beats and pulls back. "Then fuck me."

"You know it's not just fucking," Declan points out, already reaching for the condom. Semantics, possibly, but none of what he does with her is just anything and that's the damned problem. If it was just fucking they'd have been doing a lot more of it recently but when it's Kate in his bed, it's something a lot more special than that. "But if you want me to get on with it, love, I'm happy to oblige you. Even if you are a little impatient."

"By the time we get all of these layers off I won't seem that impatient," she protests with a flash of a grin, easily happier than she's been in weeks. Her shirt comes off with an explosive crossed arm pull over her head and gets tossed. She leaves the bra on and drops to her back, rolling her hips off to pull off her leggings, then rocks up over her feet, all playful and athletic now, and ends up on her knees waiting for him. "You want to unwrap the rest, babe?"

Declan unhooks her bra and pushes it off slowly, taking his time to explore her skin with his fingertips. She's beautiful, easily one of the most beautiful women he's ever been with and as he lays her down against the bed, he chases the paths his fingertips drew with his mouth, kissing every inch of skin he can reach.

Everything's different with him. Everything. His fingertips make her shiver and not because he's being really clever with them. He's just touching her, but her body acts like there's lime and salt and body shots of tequila involved (which is something they really should do some time), and by the time he gets his mouth on her, the hair's rising on her arms and she could seriously cut glass with her nipples. It's not enough, but somehow it is enough anyway and even though her hands are restless, catching and clawing, and her breathing erratic, she's patient.

She is patient and that's something Declan wants to reward, if he can, so he makes quick work of her panties before brushing a thumb along the line of her bare hip. "Now it's your turn to unwrap, love. I'm all yours."

As much as she wants him now now now, waiting's been as hard on him as it has been her and she knows her skin's been achy needy for his hands on it (no one else's hands seem to stop the ache for very long). If he feels like she does, Kate wants to use that. Wants to please him. He's kneeling, so she ducks low onto her forearms and pushes his shirt up with her fingertips, then mouths wet and soft at his abs just above his belt buckle while she unbuckles that.

She pulls the belt out of the loops and it's tempting to offer him playtime with it, but not tonight. It hits the floor with her shirt and she mouths her way up his chest, pushing his shirt off inch by inch as she comes up fully on her knees. "After you remind me how we fit, I'm gonna show you what that means. Being mine," she whispers-growls, because she may roll for him faster than a nubbin on crack, but if they're doing this, he is hers. She won't share.

"I look forward to the demonstration," Declan says mildly, amused. He holds the condom up between two fingers and wiggles them lightly. "Want to put this on for me, Katie? I'd do it myself but I'm a bit desperate right now. Might not go so well if I rip something open I shouldn't, yeah?"

That, and he wants her hands on his skin again.

"Gotta talk to Magnus about birth control here. I want you without." Kate's frank about that. Why not be? If they're going to be just the two of them, then she wants to feel him when he's fucking her. Not some latex imitation. Just this minute, she'll take the latex, and plucks it from between his fingers, putting it between her lips while she uses both hands to open his pants. "Up. Off." She gestures with her hands to explain she wants him to get up and get his pants and boxers off for her.

That's an order he can comply with easily and Declan makes quick work of it before laying back down and crossing his arms up behind his head. She felt damned good the last time they had sex, wet and slick and sliding against his bare cock but he's not willing to risk her safety to feel good. It's relatively safe, he guesses, to have a baby here, but he's not ready for it or even the risk of it.

"Pretty sure our only alternatives are withdrawal and rhythm, love. Not willing to risk you."

For that, Kate leans in and presses a soft, wet kiss to his chest. "I'll find out if there are pills or how long my implant will last here." But it's not something she wants on either of their minds tonight. As hot as he looks, all stretched out like lord of her castle, Kate has needs so the fingertip tour gets cut short in favor of rolling the condom down over his dick. Her fingers stall stroking him through the latex while her heart lurches in her chest. "This how you want me, riding you until you can't take it anymore and you have to flip me and fuck me?" she manages, but need makes her voice low and thick.

"Exactly," Declan says lowly, hands already reaching for her. "Want to see you for a little while and know who's with me. Remind myself why I'm a bloody idiot for making us wait. Please?"

He's not usually the one begging, no, but it feels appropriate here since he's been the one putting the division between them, not her.

As needy as she is, Kate would usually climb on and take him fast, give herself the hot, sharp pain of it. It doesn't feel right, not tonight, not now, not with him. When she straddles his thighs, Kate takes his hands and draws them up her body, from her knees to her hips, over her stomach, and molds them over her breasts. Then she catches her bottom lip between her teeth and lifts up to take him. It's slow, the tip of him pressing into her and her bearing slowly down over him. Not even halfway, she stops, hissing with pleasure and catching her breath, head tipped all the way back.

"Fuck, Katie," Declan hisses, thumbs working over her nipples in a vain attempt to keep from shifting his hips up so he can take her the rest of the way. It's been too long since they've done this, almost a month, and he craves her in a way that, if he thinks about it too closely, scares the shit out of him. He knows it scares her too, actually, hence the disagreement on promises.

"You feel good."

She's already past the point where words are a good idea. She'll end up saying things and it's better if she just agrees with a needy whimper. Fuck, she needs him. She may not even be able to make words with how damn good it is to have something in her cunt that isn't her fingers. To have his thumbs roughing her nipples (like she needs anything to get her there with him tonight; he'll be scraping her off the ceiling soon).

It'd be so easy to lie, not let him see how much it's about him, but she's tired of working so hard to believe it herself. So Kate tips her chin back down and finds his eyes, lets him see into hers, while she works herself the rest of the way down his cock.
It's stupid how much he wants her and Declan wants to say it's love but he's too cautious to say something so important just because it feels good to have her tight around him. Instead, he brushes his thumb against her clit lightly and cups her hip with his free hand.

Declan's thumb slides across the slick, hot bead of her clit and Kate shudders, breath forced out hard and noisy. She grabs his wrist and pulls his hand away to match with the other on her hip. "Too much," she insists, low and pleading. She rolls her hips, working herself to fit him and her eyes flutter shut at the stretch and pull from not having anyone awhile.

He likes it slow, so she gives him that, tilting forward to put her hands on the bed by his shoulders to brace while she lifts and lowers, rocks her hips and takes him deep again. "Fuck, I needed you," she whisper-growls at him. Not this, but him, she needed him, and oh god he feels good.

"Needed you too, Katie," Declan says and the tone of it is rough and needy in a way that he hasn't ever really been before. Christ, she feels good and more than that, he cares about her and he just can't imagine cutting them off from this again. She's made him one promise, at least, and Declan hopes that means the rest is coming too.

"I always need you, even when I say no."

"Sure it's me you need?" she challenges, pushing the words at him while she grinds her hips against his. It's hard, hard to breathe and hard to think, but she needs to stay in control of this until he takes it from her. Fuck, damn, she hopes it's soon, because even with the latex smoothing him out, the walls of her cunt ache with every tiny slip of his cock against them and she's seconds from begging him to fuck her until she can't walk tomorrow. "Not just a hot tight cunt wrapped around your cock?" She knows, but she wants to hear it. "Tell me, show me. Babe, show me."

"You always have to be right, don't you?" Declan teases breathlessly, grasping her hips and rolling them so he's pressing her down into the bed. He knows she goads him on purpose, clearly, but right now he doesn't want her thinking about anything but his mouth against hers and his cock inside her and he figures rolling them will do the trick.

"Just. You. I've only wanted you. I've only been with you since we've been here."

"Don't care about being right. Not now." Kate's voice is raw with the need that's been building for weeks. Her emotions are raw, too, chafed from being held back. "Care about being fucked," she pushes the words at him, lifts her thigh up around his hips, inviting him to take her. Deep. Hard. Now. "Thoroughly." Hell yeah she wants that. She needs him, need to feel him, needs his strength and his power and, yeah, his devotion. "But just...by you."
"Need you too, love," Declan murmurs, speeding up and taking her faster, harder. He always needs her but it usually isn't as desperate as it is now.

"Don't...don't want to wait this long again."

"Don't have to," Kate reminds him fierce and hungry and horny as hell. She's been getting herself off long enough to be damned good at it, but it's never as good as this. Never as good as heat and sweat and push and that little bit of pain from him being bigger, stronger, wanting her, not just to get her off.

Her head tips back against the flat, scrap stuffed pillow, back arching up to him while her fingers claw his back to ribbons. "Godyeah, babe."

Declan very nearly almost groans promise me into the soft skin of her neck but he resists, scraping his teeth against her pulse point instead. It's needy and possessive and she can read in between the lines if she wants but he owes it to her not to force a promise from her. He owes it to both of them to wait until she can freely and sincerely give it.

His hips snap faster, long strokes that stretch her and bring him that much closer.

Kate's never minded being bruised and marked during sex. Sometimes she seeks it out. It's different with Declan and not just because it makes her eyes roll back in her head and her cunt pulse wildly. He's not leaving marks, he's laying claim. Signing his name to her skin, as if he hasn't already branded it into her in every way that matters.

"More," she urges, lifting her hips up into him. More more more more. "Missed...this." Missed it, wanted it, and now she's begging him for it, so close, but wanting him to take it from her. "Missed you."

There's three words on the tip of his tongue that Declan simply refuses to say, not without a promise from her to back them up. Instead, he whispers them against her throat while he hikes one of her thighs higher, trying to deepen his strokes and change the angle to go ahead and bring her over with him. He missed her too, actually, a hell of a lot, and every time they do this he kicks himself for needing promises to be okay with it.

His lips are so soft against her throat, for a wild few seconds she wants to tell him to slow it down, take her slower, stay here with her longer. It's not something she ever wants and just thinking it scares the fuck out of her. The adrenaline punch pulls her off the peak, but somehow it's better like this, feeling him thrust into her and the ache of being fucked well that she's missed. Doesn't take long for her to find her way back to where she was, not with him taking her like this. After that, she stops thinking and just lets him have her. Any time now it'll happen. He'll hit just right and she'll go off.

"Fuck, you feel good, Katie," Declan moans, slowing down slightly but taking his time to hit her deep on every pass. She's so good, they're so good together, and he's never really been so in sync with someone the way he is with Kate. It's strange, though, because for all they mesh like this they aren't really all that much alike.

"Come for me?"

"Kiss me." Her hand's curled around the back of his neck to haul his mouth to hers, and somehow those two words get strung out over a lot more syllables, rising on the beginnings of a keening cry. Her body's already arching up into him, has been since Katie, and even though she'd love to snark and say she doesn't come on command, that's a lie when it comes to him. It's a lie and one she can't make her body tell. So it's kiss me instead to trap the sound of her exploding into flame and light and turning inside out.

Declan's never going to say no to kissing her, not when he thinks he could make an art of kissing her and nothing else. Even when they're not doing this he always wants to kiss her and it's enough emotionally and physically to push him over the edge and come, hips stuttering in their rhythm and coming to a halt as he finishes. God, she feels good, always feels good, and he wonders if it's always going to be this explosive between them.

The deep press when he comes sets her off again, another string of explosions off the first. She's always been quick off the trigger. Never had much trouble coming a couple of times in one night, but a couple of times in one fuck, that's pretty rare. She thinks, when she collapses back to the bed under him and while her fingers rub idly against the claw marks she's left in his back, that it has to be him. It has to be how open she is for him. How much she trusts him to just take what he needs. There can't be any other explanation.

Declan rolls off her but tugs her close anyway, needing to hold her when he's just had this. There's the condom to deal with, still, and he's getting there but he needs to hold her and murmur nothings into her hair while he comes down first.

"Ever tell you how much I care about you, love?"

"I know you do," Kate says quietly after a minute. She feels a lot of things about him but she's not ready to talk about any of it yet. Instead, she kisses his shoulder and neck and throws a leg over his to tangle them together. "Don't need to tell me when you take me like that. Even I know that's not just a fuck." It's not defensive or shut up, Declan. She's protecting him from how bad she is at this. Hopefully, he gets that.

"I like telling you, is the point," Declan says, lightly stroking his hand down her back. "So long as you like hearing it, anyway, I like telling you. I don't want you to ever have to assume anything between us, Katie, because I didn't tell you what I felt or what was going on with me."

"I hear it every time you call me 'Katie'. It's why I don't hate it. I know it means that you feel stuff and you want me to know." She blows out a soft, worried breath and rubs at his chest lightly. "But I don't like to talk about stuff. I either say exactly what I'm thinking and hurt people or lie and hurt people. I don't want to hurt you ever."

"You don't, usually, unless it's unintentional," Declan points out. "Which can still hurt, yes, but it's not...you don't do it with malice and I can always forgive an honest mistake. You never have to worry about that with me, Kate, never."

That's not really what she means, but since she's pretty sure Declan isn't going to say anything else tonight that will hurt him if she doesn't say it back (three words, she knows he feels them, she's not sure she doesn't, but she's definitely not ready to go throwing them around, because they mean way too much), Kate nods and tucks herself closer. "I'm just better at the not-talking parts."

"We're both better at those," Declan agrees. "I've never been so in sync with a woman before you, Katie, never. I'm not sure what it is about us, actually, considering you'd think we were like oil and water, as different as we are. Opposites attract, yeah?"

Kate shrugs and reaches down to strip the condom and chuck it away. She'll clean it up tomorrow, but she needs to focus on something else for a minute. "I don't know," she says quietly, finally. "Maybe more like fire and water. You keep me from raging out of control, I keep you from freezing?"

"That makes a bit more sense," Declan agrees. "Though I didn't think I was so cold as all that. Now, you on the other hand, you are very much fire and very much out of control. I like that about you, that you can be so passionate."

"You're not. Cold, I mean." She can be, like a frozen fire for as much sense as that makes. And if him being in love with her (she knows he at least thinks he is) makes her start writing goopy pop-song lyrics in her head, she's going to gut him. But she did swear she'd show him what it meant to be hers, and now's as good a time to start on that as she's going to get. "Just British," Kate adds and then decides that she needs to know what happens when he rages out of control.

She lifts her head and flips her hair out of the way, then pushes him to his back and neatly straddles him. "Tell me we're still on a rules break, babe. I have plans."

"Rules are suspended until tomorrow morning, I think," Declan decides, quirking a brow up at her. "But I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be saying that so easily. You look like you're thinking about something and while I'm sure it'll end well for me, I'd like to know what I'm getting myself into, yeah?"

"Relax, British." Kate pats his chest and grins at him, playful again now that it's touching not talking on the table. "I'm just good at a lot more things than rewiring ICBMs and you ought to get to try before you buy." Funny how she doesn't actually have a specific plan or anything. He just makes her feel so good, she wants to do the same for him.

"It's not the sex, Kate," he protests and realizes he's probably protesting too much. Who complains about having a gorgeous woman willing to do anything and everything for him? Declan MacRae, apparently, and he promptly closes his mouth, breathes, and tries again.

"But if what you have in mind is showing me just how good those hands of yours are, I'm absolutely not saying no."

Kate's smile softens and she tips forward over his hips, leaning down to kiss him slower and warmer than she usually would. "I know, babe. I do." Her fingertips trace along Declan's neck and shoulder, learning the shape of the muscles and his reactions. "I just suck at words and emotions but I know how to give you this. Let me?"

"Yeah, love, give me what you need," Declan moans, powerless to resist her when she's being soft and sweet like this. It's different than usual, being soft, and while he can't say he prefers anything over anything else, he likes how she feels when she's being sweet with him.

"Oh babe, you've got no idea," Kate purrs at him, lips traveling a long path down his throat for her tongue to flick into the hollow of it. What Kate needs is something she's never let herself have. All the time in the world to...she thinks 'appreciate a lover' at first, but what she means is something a little more like worship. He's so hot and he works so hard to please her, in bed and out. It's about time she returns the favor.