(no subject)
I am writing this letter knowing that you might never read it, knowing you will probably never even know about it...but it's just something that I have to do. I wish more than anything that I wasn't such a coward so that I could just tell you.
I know that you are probably frustrated with me right now, with the way I was the other night. I know that it was childish and immature and completely out of character for me. I dunno, I guess it's a defense mechanism. Push you away so that I can protect myself. Because despite what you think, despite what stupid girls tell you...it is so easy...so easy to care about you.
Therein lies the problem. In the short time that I've known you, you have become the closest person to me...my dearest friend. And while you see me only as that...while you believe that friends can never be anything, can never develop into something more, I believe the opposite. And these past few months, I've found myself slowly falling back into a familiar rhythm.
I think about you all the time...even when I don't want to. You're just always there. I learn something new, and I can't wait to tell you. Something good or bad happens to me, I want to share with you. Sometimes when we talk, I have to stop myself from talking too much to keep from feeling like a fool. And sometimes, I have to distance myself from you because I know that while our friendship is strong now, it won't always be this way. You'll meet someone someday, and our friendship will no longer be the way it is now, and I know that I can't rely that you'll always be there for me like you are now.
It's not easy. I hate myself sometimes when I make you feel bad. Because the last thing that I would ever want to do is to hurt you in any way. All I want is for you to be happy because you always make me happy. But I won't lie...sometimes there are things you say that pinch my heart.
Don't worry, though. I have been here before, and I put our friendship above anything else, and like I said before, I will always be your friend for as long as you let me.
You should also know...you have completely captured my heart.
Yours,
Rose
I know that you are probably frustrated with me right now, with the way I was the other night. I know that it was childish and immature and completely out of character for me. I dunno, I guess it's a defense mechanism. Push you away so that I can protect myself. Because despite what you think, despite what stupid girls tell you...it is so easy...so easy to care about you.
Therein lies the problem. In the short time that I've known you, you have become the closest person to me...my dearest friend. And while you see me only as that...while you believe that friends can never be anything, can never develop into something more, I believe the opposite. And these past few months, I've found myself slowly falling back into a familiar rhythm.
I think about you all the time...even when I don't want to. You're just always there. I learn something new, and I can't wait to tell you. Something good or bad happens to me, I want to share with you. Sometimes when we talk, I have to stop myself from talking too much to keep from feeling like a fool. And sometimes, I have to distance myself from you because I know that while our friendship is strong now, it won't always be this way. You'll meet someone someday, and our friendship will no longer be the way it is now, and I know that I can't rely that you'll always be there for me like you are now.
It's not easy. I hate myself sometimes when I make you feel bad. Because the last thing that I would ever want to do is to hurt you in any way. All I want is for you to be happy because you always make me happy. But I won't lie...sometimes there are things you say that pinch my heart.
Don't worry, though. I have been here before, and I put our friendship above anything else, and like I said before, I will always be your friend for as long as you let me.
You should also know...you have completely captured my heart.
Yours,
Rose