(no subject)
well yesterday chad and i went and looked at this house in jackson. it was a nice house i dont know if chad was interested in it or not, but why chad was downstairs looking at the basement with this guy i was up talking to markus. wait first before i tell you what that was all about i first have to tell you this. after there show with Adema some record guy emailed markus and said they got picked out of all the bands in michigan to do this 112 show tour and every night they compeat aginst other bands that got picked from other states at the end the get a million $$ to split between the 3 and if they win overall they get a tour in europe. so that is really cool but when i was talking to markus he was telling me basicly it is slim to none if realinships work out cause "the road fucks with ppl" all i kept saying is that chad and i have a really strong realinship and it will be ok.he said that he has heard it all before and blablabla. he said alot of other things that did not make me happy like telling me i can never make chad chose between me and them....DUH i would never do that and the thing that makes me the most mad is the fact is i feel he all ready has this veiw on me that i am like that and i am not. he dont know me and he dont know chad and he dont know us as a whole. it just really makes me mad. another thing that is bothering me is he said if they go on this tour thing then chad will be gone alot and i wont see him that much and blabla. i dont know if i can handle that.... i dont want to be alone. that is how it will end up. even if they dont go do this tour there will be another offer down the line. i dont want to break up with chad i love him vary much. i want to marry him one day and spend the rest of my life with him. it is just scary to me to think about just being alone all the time. then another thing he said is that chad cant promise me he wont cheat on me while he is gone...im like :O jaw dropped. his excuse again was that "the road fucks with people"and being away from someone for so long fucks with them to. before all that i had no doubt in my mind that chad and i will be ok. now i have all these things runnning through my mind and i cant come to a realization with it. i told chad to talk to markus and have markus tell him what he told me then chad will know what ia m talking about. cause at this point markus really pissed me off. but i am outta hear....gimmie some input someone PLEASE!!!!!!!! later