An Open Letter to Tarl Cabot
Hello Tarl,
I hope this finds you well, it's been a while. So tell me, are you still acting like a noob? Last I recall, you were forever rushing off into the wilds of Gor to do the Priest Kings' bidding and getting in trouble for acting like an Earthling. Seriously! What part of 'when in Rome' do you just not get?
I mean sure, Gor is a misogynistic museum of past cultures that at one point or another failed to deal with change or growth and only survive on that quaint little antichthonal habitat maintained by those Zoo Keeping Megafaunal Insectoid Overlords with disturbingly autocratic appellation of 'Priest-Kings'.
I realise that the reason the world of our birth, Earth, is not the 'idyll' that Gor theoretically is, has to do with the fact that those lumbering bugs didn't manage to move in fast enough to keep the Kur from bringing about technology, science, reason and oh yes, the dreaded Feminism! Frankly, I'm not sure who is worse, great furry critters who apparently allow us to thrive and grow (to, I suppose feed off of our excess population, if so, they need to up their appetite, we're over running our pens) or the abstemious Priest-Kings who seem so bent on maintaining control that they've nearly forgotten how to mate and thereby nearly driven themselves extinct, and whose penchant for stasis is such that once admirable cultures that died off on our planet when change and growth pushed them to their extinction are allowed to … well stagnate away like wax work dioramas. Seriously, how can you consider that an improvement?
Oh, by the way? How is that lower gravity working for you? Scientifically speaking the 'benefits' of having grown up on earth should have worn off within hours as your muscles adjusted to the new, lower, gravitational, requirements. Still leaping about like a flea on speed? I doubt it.
Not to say I haven't enjoyed the stories, but seriously, Tarl, you're a tawdry knock off of Edgar Rice Burroughs' John Carter of Mars. The difference is, ERB can be excused from not knowing that the human body rapidly adapts to lower gravity as he died 11 years prior to the first manned space flight by Yuri Gagarin in 1961. You're author, under the sobriquet of 'John Norman' should have known better, seeing as the first 'Gor' novel was published in 1966 (or at least the editor should have had that bit fixed). Even Jean M. Auel corrects her work subsequently, pointing out where new information has cast doubt or clarified some misunderstanding that may have been prevalent in the past. One only has to watch the astronauts climbing out of the capsules to see that what were previously the most fit and robust specimens the earth could send to the heavens have returned feeble as babes after brief exposure to low gravity. Instead, we get this farce that humans are capable of great feats of strength because we're bounding about on a planet with a lower gravitational field.
It makes for bad science fiction mate, it really does. So, frankly, I have to tell you Tarl, that you're not a Science Fiction protagonist, you're a space fantasy prop, and frankly, considering how often you keep repeating the same mistakes in an effort to play 'fish out of water' to teach us how things work in the 'new' culture you're encountering (that trope only works so well and then really should be retired for something better), seriously, even 'Kajirae' I know comment that in real life you'd be dead several times over if 'Gor' and it's culture of machismo were real, and they're only confirming some of the snide comments I've heard from others in the 'community.'
Dude, you really need to pull your socks up. Then again, I've heard that there are some new novels out there and while I've not read them (face it, when I could get the gist of the story from the title blurbs in the chapter headings, what was the point of actually reading the story?) I have a sneaking suspicion that you've been 'replaced' or sidelined from the narrative action. Frankly, this is probably a good thing.
Okay, I've done a little more 'research' something I've chided your 'author' for not doing. It appears that the Kur are here to 'colonise' both Earth and Gor. Well they're not doing a good job of it then. Then again, I'm still not sure of the 'benevolence' of those giant prying mantes and yes, that is a deliberate typo, after all, to what purpose are they acting as custodians? Why are they so opposed to their 'charges' developing technology?
Huh?
Huh!
They're preparing for some grand feast aren't they? Something to buy the Kur off with when the chips are down. “Here ya great furry galoots, eat these! They're tastier than we'll ever be.”
I knew it, it's all a nefarious plot.
Bah, besides, it'll all come to nought when the stars.... oh ho... that's it isn't it! They're really servants of Cthulhu, bidding their time, waiting for the stars to be right. Hence the name Priest-Kings! They're the real overlords aren't they! That Vril-Reptoid Inner Earth Alien Alliance is all just a scam to divert our attention away from the real deal!
Damn You Tarl Cabot! You've Sold Your Species for some Poontang!