Why repressing thoughts doesn't work...
It doesn't work because it doesn't work. Unless you can actually force yourself to go a little crazy and block all memory of the thought from your brain. That's a coping mechanism, and it's not what I'm referring to. I'm talking about how something crosses your mind, and your first reaction is "Dammit, no, I don't want to think about that!" Then you go on and think about it even more and yeah...you get the point.
Reading lovebytez new entry reminded me of something that I'd actually managed to deal with, but now has decided to come back and wreak some more havoc with my poor little mind.
And what is this horrifying thing that has me tossing in my sleep? (Or would, if I had enough sense to be in bed.) Nothing special. Just terrorist centered thoughts. Not actual specific thoughts of what terrorists or whoever might do, just my reflections on everything else in the light of possible badness. If someone blows up the mall tomorrow, or starts throwing anthrax out the back of truck, why do I care about critiquing vids or making fan-art or doing anything that doesn't involve my family, etc.? Rationally, I understand that a person can cripple themselves by letting anxiety about something out of their control take over their lives. I'm not trying to suggest that I'm that far gone. I just wish I wasn't being directed towards these thoughts.
I think they've been easing, because it's starting to sound less and less like we're going to be blowing things up ::crosses fingers::, but reading about the idea of prophecies and starting to think something's going to happen just brought it all rushing back. I know it's naive, and unfair to the rest of the world that does have to deal with these sorts of fears on a daily basis, but I wish we'd stop picking fights and spend some of that energy combating the target that aren't so visible.
Sigh. And I wish it was really that simple.
Reading lovebytez new entry reminded me of something that I'd actually managed to deal with, but now has decided to come back and wreak some more havoc with my poor little mind.
And what is this horrifying thing that has me tossing in my sleep? (Or would, if I had enough sense to be in bed.) Nothing special. Just terrorist centered thoughts. Not actual specific thoughts of what terrorists or whoever might do, just my reflections on everything else in the light of possible badness. If someone blows up the mall tomorrow, or starts throwing anthrax out the back of truck, why do I care about critiquing vids or making fan-art or doing anything that doesn't involve my family, etc.? Rationally, I understand that a person can cripple themselves by letting anxiety about something out of their control take over their lives. I'm not trying to suggest that I'm that far gone. I just wish I wasn't being directed towards these thoughts.
I think they've been easing, because it's starting to sound less and less like we're going to be blowing things up ::crosses fingers::, but reading about the idea of prophecies and starting to think something's going to happen just brought it all rushing back. I know it's naive, and unfair to the rest of the world that does have to deal with these sorts of fears on a daily basis, but I wish we'd stop picking fights and spend some of that energy combating the target that aren't so visible.
Sigh. And I wish it was really that simple.