New Fic: A Time to Heal Part Seven
Title: A Time to Heal
Author: Twilight
Summary: What the hell just happened? One minute he was holding his gun on Davis and the next he was on the ground with Danny bleeding all over him.
Rated: Pg 13
Feedback: Always welcome
Part One
Part Seven
He really wasn't aware of his transition into groggy-wakefulness.
One minute he was floating on a wave of nothingness, and the next he could feel his body, heavy and numb, but a niggling discomfort lurked below the surface of his skin.
Now he could hear subdued noises, machinery, whirling and beeping and voices quietly speaking
Soon he could smell stringent antiseptic and a familiar flowery tang that reminded him of his childhood.
There was a warm touch at his forearm and someone was insistently rubbing his chest.
“Hey, monkey boy...Ma and Pop are here...can you open your eyes, bud?”
Monkey boy…
He knew that voice!
His pop…His pop had been calling him monkey for...well, as long as he could remember, because when Danny was little, he used to climb up just about anything he could, often times flying off whatever he had scaled, and into his Pop’s waiting arms.
It was a game they used to play, at home or in the park, at the firehouse where his Pop worked and when Grace came along, she was just like her Daddy…
But why is Pop here?
The rubbing at his chest started to feel uncomfortable, so he tried to open his eyes, to tell whoever was touching him that they were hurting him, and that’s when he felt something stiff and unyielding down his throat.
And it all came flooding back…he had been out in the hot afternoon sun, sweating through his dress shirt in his flak jacket, his gun drawn and pointed at a man who had been bringing drugs on to the island, a guy who was responsible for nine overdose deaths, three of those kids not much older than Gracie.
One minute, Steve was demanding for Davis and his crew to drop their weapons and to get down on the ground and the next, Danny had seen movement out of the corner of his eye, someone slinking around one of the offloading machines and he knew…if he didn’t do something and do it fast, Steve would be hit…and then it was all fiery pain and not being able to breathe, just like when he had been poisoned with Sarin and Steve…Steve had stayed with him the whole way.
Is Steve still here with me?
He needed to open his eyes now, but at first they had refused and then…they just did.
His sight was blurry, and that niggle of suppressed pain rose closer to the surface, he could feel hot tears springing to his eyes, gathering in the corners.
He searched the room, knowing he was in the hospital now, eyes glossing over the ceiling and walls, the surrounding machines
A fuzzy form morphed into Steve, his friend smiled down at him, patting and rubbing his arm and then Danny shifted his head a little, looking to the other side of the bed and saw his ma and pop…they were here…they had come to be with him…
Oh, god…Am I dying?
"There you are," his mom looked wrecked, her eyes puffy and red and she was holding on to his father, but then she moved away, stepping closer to the bed, leaning over Danny so he could see her better. "We're here, baby boy. You're going to be fine."
And he blinked back the wetness, wanting to ask her how she could be so sure, working his throat around the tube.
His mom wouldn't lie to him, right?
He was going to be okay, that's what she had said…he was going to get to see his baby girl again, be able to watch her grow up, and do all those things with Gracie that he had dreamed for them.
And he would be able to…work and Steve…
Two sets of warm hands, one large and work rough, the other soft and delicate, smoothed away his tears and his mom whispered, “Shh,” in his ear. “It's okay, baby…you're doing great…getting better. You'll be home before you know it.”
Okay, he was going to be okay.
Someone else came then, spoke with both his parents and Steve, but Danny couldn't pay attention because he was really starting to hurt, his belly was churning, a deep ache settling low in his gut and he was so hot…skin sticky and slick and he just wanted…
“Dan?”
He snapped his eyes open and his father loomed over him, looking down at him with an expression Danny had seen only a few times before.
“What's the matter, bud…are you hurting?”
He wanted to nod his head, but he was too afraid to move. Maybe if he stayed really still, the emerging pain would sink back down under the surface, like when he had first woken.
His mother hovered by his head, whispering comforting words into his ear, trying to keep him calm and his Pop rubbed at his arm, had found that spot near his elbow that used to sooth him as a child and that's when he realized Steve was gone.
Steve?
He didn't understand why, but his heart beat faster, he could feel his body trembling, and fear bubbling up within him.
His eyes frantically roamed the room.
Where’s Steve?
Voices buzzed around him, telling him that it would get better soon, but he wanted Steve and then Steve was back by his side.
Danny could feel gentle pressure on his arm and his friend leaned in to his line of sight, “…you have to stay calm, okay?”
The machine that breathed for him hissed, his chest rose and fell, but Danny really wanted to hold his breath against the budding pain.
Steve kept up the tactile invasion of his senses, hands running the length of Danny’s arm, fingers soothing the hair sticking to his forehead, trying to distract him from the consuming fire under his skin.
Out of the corner of his watery eyes he spotted a man in scrubs, fiddling with one of the monitors, and then a numbing calm descended around him again, his heart rate evening out and the little black dots that were encroaching on his vision started to dissipate.
“That’s right, babe…” Steve soothed, hands still running through Danny’s dirty hair, “everything is fine…”
He was drifting now, sounds and voices distorting.
He thought he heard his ma crying and he didn’t want her to cry over him, didn’t want to be the cause of her sorrow, but even though he tried, he couldn’t get his eyes to open.
His Pop was talking again, his Jersey accent droning in the background, comforting and Danny was glad they were here with him now.
He really loved his parents and it had hurt to have to leave them behind
For most of his life they were his security and his home until…well, until he had found Steve and Chin and Kono.
Steve…
“They’re coming in a minute, bud…” That was his father’s voice and Danny thought he must have missed something.
Who’s coming for me?
“We’ll be here when you get back…”
He felt like he was moving, his sheets ruffling and a cool breeze caressing his bare arms, raising goose flesh on his chilled skin and he couldn't help but to shiver.
His brain cleared a little and he managed to open his eyes to a squint, seeing the overhead lights of the hallway whiz by. He was pushed through a set of swinging doors and down another hall until he ended back in an OR room.
Why am I here?
They all said, Steve and his Ma, they told him he was going to be fine...
What are they going to do to me?
He tried to push down his rising panic.
People moved around him, talking about everyday, mundane things and Danny tried to find something concrete to latch on to, but everything was spinning around him too fast.
And when he woke again, it wasn’t to that uncertain and confusing space.
His eyes opened to a different room, curtains pulled on either side of him and people would walk by the end of his bed from time to time.
He didn't know how long he was there, but hands would startle him with their clinical touch, someone kept talking to him, asking him questions, but he didn’t think he had answered them because he kept skittering from one thought to another until finally, his mind cleared and a soft voice broke through, saying, “Daniel…can you hear me?”
Rachel?
“Come on Danny, open your eyes.”
He tried and eventually he did, looking around for his parents, for Steve, but the room he was in when he had last seen them was empty except for his ex-wife.
“Steve will be here soon, I think your parents later, I'm sure they are jetlagged. But it’s still fairly early in the morning,” she said, answering his unasked question before taking up his hand and giving him a gentle squeeze. “I wanted to see you before…”
He grasped her fingers, because even though things weren’t always great between them, they had been much better lately.
“Well, anyway, I wanted to check up on you, see for myself…The nurse said you’re doing very well and that they should be able to take you off the ventilator later today. I’m sure it’s frustrating for you not to be able to speak.” And then her face flushed, but he understood she wasn’t trying to insult him, that her concern was genuine.
“I should think in a day or so I’ll be able to bring Grace. When you’re feeling up to it, have…someone call me. I ah…I didn’t tell her what had happened. We’ll talk about how best to explain when you get a little better.”
She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his forehead, squeezing his hand one more time before moving from his line of sight. He could hear her talking and then more people came into view.
Steve walked right up to the bed, carding his fingers through Danny’s hair, a small smile on his face. “I have some people here who want to see you, babe.”
And then Chin and Kono stepped closer too.
He thought that maybe they had been to see him before, but things were a little fuzzy.
“Hey, brah…you look better,” Chin said.
But Kono hung back, she looked afraid to be near him, so he waved his fingers toward her and she stepped forward, taking them in her own. “I’m so glad you’re doing better Danny…I thought…well, I thought that we might have lost you and I…”
And he understood.
He had lost coworkers and friends before, Meka...but it was very different to actually see a person you cared for go down and not know if they'll ever get back up again.
So he tugged on her hand and she leaned in closer, her eyes searching his face...Rachel was right, it was frustrating not being able to talk, but he patted her back and she nodded, because Danny was here and he was alive and that was what she needed to think about.
"So, you look like you feel better, Danno." Steve hadn't stopped petting him, his blunt fingernails massaging Danny's scalp and he wasn't about to complain. "You have some color back in your cheeks."
He liked to touch and be touched by his partner, but maybe now wasn't the time to think about that because Steve was giving him a goofy grin and Danny thought maybe he had missed something. "Don't worry about it, buddy...you should get some more rest. Doctor Hoy will be coming around a little later and I'm sure you'll want to be awake for that."
He nodded, because even though he was feeling no pain and his mind was clearer, he was still really tired.
His team chatted on around him as he closed his eyes. He listened to their conversation for a few minutes before drifting into a light sleep.
Sometime later, someone was patting his chest, calling his name.
The doctor was looming over him when he blinked opened his eyes.
Steve stood near by, but Chin and Kono were gone and the doctor was talking to him, so Danny tried to pay attention. "We're going to turn off the vent and remove the tube." and the hissing pump quieted. "Just breathe normally."
He didn't know what the doctor was doing, but he breathed in and out, relieved that he was doing it all on his own. A few minutes passed and then the head of the bed was slightly raised. He noticed the nurse for the first time as she picked at the tape on the corner of his mouth and then a pillow was laid over his stomach and she put gentle pressure over his incision.
"When I tell you, I want you to take in a deep breath and then blow it out, okay...ready?"
He took in a breath and blew it out steadily, gagging as the tube was pulled from his throat. Fire burned through his gut, but the pain settled down as the doctor wiped at his mouth with gauze. He took a few more shallow breaths and then a spoon was placed near his lips.
"Just a few." Steve said, giving him another goofy grin as he pressed an ice chip into Danny's mouth and it was heavenly. He hadn’t realized how dry he was until the cool ice melted on his tongue.
"I don't want you to try to talk just yet," Dr. Hoy said, moving around the bed. "Your throat is going to be very sore for a few days."
Steve stepped back to let the doctor through. He lifted the sheet on Danny's left side and looked at something there, then reached toward the white dressing on Danny's stomach and peeled the tape holding it into place, pressing gently around Danny's incision. "We'll probably remove the chest tube later today, but the NG tube and cath will have to stay for a few more...think you want to sit up?"
He nodded, mouthing the word 'okay' and Steve smirked at him.
The nurse pulled off the bandage and replaced it with a new one and before the head of the bed was raised, she told him, "hold the pillow to your belly, to brace the incision site."
It hurt, his stomach folding as the bed moved up, but the pain was manageable.
"The nursing staff will be getting you sitting up a little later today," Dr. Hoy said, "but for now just get some rest and I'll be back to check on you later."
"Thank you," Danny whispered, but wished like hell he didn't.
The nurse bustled around when the doctor left, pulling things from drawers, sitting a strange looking contraption by his bed and explaining that he needed to use it every few hours to help him breath deep, to keep his lungs clear. She also explained how his pain relief worked and that all he had to do was press the button as many times as he needed. "You can't give yourself too much, but if you find that it beeps and you’re still hurting, you need to let us know."
Steve came back in view when she left, plopping down in the chair by his bed.
Danny was ridiculously happy he could now turn his head to follow Steve's movements.
Steve threaded his hand through the safety bar to grab Danny's arm. "You doing okay?" and Danny nodded, even though his eyes were getting heavier. "Go to sleep, Danno. I'll be here and you parents are coming in a bit..."
He mouthed, 'Thank you,' because he knew Steve was the one who had gotten his folks to him.
"Don't worry about it, babe...you're on the mend...everything’s okay now."
And Danny believed him, so he closed his eyes, but soon, they would all know how wrong Steve had been.
Part Eight
Author: Twilight
Summary: What the hell just happened? One minute he was holding his gun on Davis and the next he was on the ground with Danny bleeding all over him.
Rated: Pg 13
Feedback: Always welcome
Part One
Part Seven
He really wasn't aware of his transition into groggy-wakefulness.
One minute he was floating on a wave of nothingness, and the next he could feel his body, heavy and numb, but a niggling discomfort lurked below the surface of his skin.
Now he could hear subdued noises, machinery, whirling and beeping and voices quietly speaking
Soon he could smell stringent antiseptic and a familiar flowery tang that reminded him of his childhood.
There was a warm touch at his forearm and someone was insistently rubbing his chest.
“Hey, monkey boy...Ma and Pop are here...can you open your eyes, bud?”
Monkey boy…
He knew that voice!
His pop…His pop had been calling him monkey for...well, as long as he could remember, because when Danny was little, he used to climb up just about anything he could, often times flying off whatever he had scaled, and into his Pop’s waiting arms.
It was a game they used to play, at home or in the park, at the firehouse where his Pop worked and when Grace came along, she was just like her Daddy…
But why is Pop here?
The rubbing at his chest started to feel uncomfortable, so he tried to open his eyes, to tell whoever was touching him that they were hurting him, and that’s when he felt something stiff and unyielding down his throat.
And it all came flooding back…he had been out in the hot afternoon sun, sweating through his dress shirt in his flak jacket, his gun drawn and pointed at a man who had been bringing drugs on to the island, a guy who was responsible for nine overdose deaths, three of those kids not much older than Gracie.
One minute, Steve was demanding for Davis and his crew to drop their weapons and to get down on the ground and the next, Danny had seen movement out of the corner of his eye, someone slinking around one of the offloading machines and he knew…if he didn’t do something and do it fast, Steve would be hit…and then it was all fiery pain and not being able to breathe, just like when he had been poisoned with Sarin and Steve…Steve had stayed with him the whole way.
Is Steve still here with me?
He needed to open his eyes now, but at first they had refused and then…they just did.
His sight was blurry, and that niggle of suppressed pain rose closer to the surface, he could feel hot tears springing to his eyes, gathering in the corners.
He searched the room, knowing he was in the hospital now, eyes glossing over the ceiling and walls, the surrounding machines
A fuzzy form morphed into Steve, his friend smiled down at him, patting and rubbing his arm and then Danny shifted his head a little, looking to the other side of the bed and saw his ma and pop…they were here…they had come to be with him…
Oh, god…Am I dying?
"There you are," his mom looked wrecked, her eyes puffy and red and she was holding on to his father, but then she moved away, stepping closer to the bed, leaning over Danny so he could see her better. "We're here, baby boy. You're going to be fine."
And he blinked back the wetness, wanting to ask her how she could be so sure, working his throat around the tube.
His mom wouldn't lie to him, right?
He was going to be okay, that's what she had said…he was going to get to see his baby girl again, be able to watch her grow up, and do all those things with Gracie that he had dreamed for them.
And he would be able to…work and Steve…
Two sets of warm hands, one large and work rough, the other soft and delicate, smoothed away his tears and his mom whispered, “Shh,” in his ear. “It's okay, baby…you're doing great…getting better. You'll be home before you know it.”
Okay, he was going to be okay.
Someone else came then, spoke with both his parents and Steve, but Danny couldn't pay attention because he was really starting to hurt, his belly was churning, a deep ache settling low in his gut and he was so hot…skin sticky and slick and he just wanted…
“Dan?”
He snapped his eyes open and his father loomed over him, looking down at him with an expression Danny had seen only a few times before.
“What's the matter, bud…are you hurting?”
He wanted to nod his head, but he was too afraid to move. Maybe if he stayed really still, the emerging pain would sink back down under the surface, like when he had first woken.
His mother hovered by his head, whispering comforting words into his ear, trying to keep him calm and his Pop rubbed at his arm, had found that spot near his elbow that used to sooth him as a child and that's when he realized Steve was gone.
Steve?
He didn't understand why, but his heart beat faster, he could feel his body trembling, and fear bubbling up within him.
His eyes frantically roamed the room.
Where’s Steve?
Voices buzzed around him, telling him that it would get better soon, but he wanted Steve and then Steve was back by his side.
Danny could feel gentle pressure on his arm and his friend leaned in to his line of sight, “…you have to stay calm, okay?”
The machine that breathed for him hissed, his chest rose and fell, but Danny really wanted to hold his breath against the budding pain.
Steve kept up the tactile invasion of his senses, hands running the length of Danny’s arm, fingers soothing the hair sticking to his forehead, trying to distract him from the consuming fire under his skin.
Out of the corner of his watery eyes he spotted a man in scrubs, fiddling with one of the monitors, and then a numbing calm descended around him again, his heart rate evening out and the little black dots that were encroaching on his vision started to dissipate.
“That’s right, babe…” Steve soothed, hands still running through Danny’s dirty hair, “everything is fine…”
He was drifting now, sounds and voices distorting.
He thought he heard his ma crying and he didn’t want her to cry over him, didn’t want to be the cause of her sorrow, but even though he tried, he couldn’t get his eyes to open.
His Pop was talking again, his Jersey accent droning in the background, comforting and Danny was glad they were here with him now.
He really loved his parents and it had hurt to have to leave them behind
For most of his life they were his security and his home until…well, until he had found Steve and Chin and Kono.
Steve…
“They’re coming in a minute, bud…” That was his father’s voice and Danny thought he must have missed something.
Who’s coming for me?
“We’ll be here when you get back…”
He felt like he was moving, his sheets ruffling and a cool breeze caressing his bare arms, raising goose flesh on his chilled skin and he couldn't help but to shiver.
His brain cleared a little and he managed to open his eyes to a squint, seeing the overhead lights of the hallway whiz by. He was pushed through a set of swinging doors and down another hall until he ended back in an OR room.
Why am I here?
They all said, Steve and his Ma, they told him he was going to be fine...
What are they going to do to me?
He tried to push down his rising panic.
People moved around him, talking about everyday, mundane things and Danny tried to find something concrete to latch on to, but everything was spinning around him too fast.
And when he woke again, it wasn’t to that uncertain and confusing space.
His eyes opened to a different room, curtains pulled on either side of him and people would walk by the end of his bed from time to time.
He didn't know how long he was there, but hands would startle him with their clinical touch, someone kept talking to him, asking him questions, but he didn’t think he had answered them because he kept skittering from one thought to another until finally, his mind cleared and a soft voice broke through, saying, “Daniel…can you hear me?”
Rachel?
“Come on Danny, open your eyes.”
He tried and eventually he did, looking around for his parents, for Steve, but the room he was in when he had last seen them was empty except for his ex-wife.
“Steve will be here soon, I think your parents later, I'm sure they are jetlagged. But it’s still fairly early in the morning,” she said, answering his unasked question before taking up his hand and giving him a gentle squeeze. “I wanted to see you before…”
He grasped her fingers, because even though things weren’t always great between them, they had been much better lately.
“Well, anyway, I wanted to check up on you, see for myself…The nurse said you’re doing very well and that they should be able to take you off the ventilator later today. I’m sure it’s frustrating for you not to be able to speak.” And then her face flushed, but he understood she wasn’t trying to insult him, that her concern was genuine.
“I should think in a day or so I’ll be able to bring Grace. When you’re feeling up to it, have…someone call me. I ah…I didn’t tell her what had happened. We’ll talk about how best to explain when you get a little better.”
She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his forehead, squeezing his hand one more time before moving from his line of sight. He could hear her talking and then more people came into view.
Steve walked right up to the bed, carding his fingers through Danny’s hair, a small smile on his face. “I have some people here who want to see you, babe.”
And then Chin and Kono stepped closer too.
He thought that maybe they had been to see him before, but things were a little fuzzy.
“Hey, brah…you look better,” Chin said.
But Kono hung back, she looked afraid to be near him, so he waved his fingers toward her and she stepped forward, taking them in her own. “I’m so glad you’re doing better Danny…I thought…well, I thought that we might have lost you and I…”
And he understood.
He had lost coworkers and friends before, Meka...but it was very different to actually see a person you cared for go down and not know if they'll ever get back up again.
So he tugged on her hand and she leaned in closer, her eyes searching his face...Rachel was right, it was frustrating not being able to talk, but he patted her back and she nodded, because Danny was here and he was alive and that was what she needed to think about.
"So, you look like you feel better, Danno." Steve hadn't stopped petting him, his blunt fingernails massaging Danny's scalp and he wasn't about to complain. "You have some color back in your cheeks."
He liked to touch and be touched by his partner, but maybe now wasn't the time to think about that because Steve was giving him a goofy grin and Danny thought maybe he had missed something. "Don't worry about it, buddy...you should get some more rest. Doctor Hoy will be coming around a little later and I'm sure you'll want to be awake for that."
He nodded, because even though he was feeling no pain and his mind was clearer, he was still really tired.
His team chatted on around him as he closed his eyes. He listened to their conversation for a few minutes before drifting into a light sleep.
Sometime later, someone was patting his chest, calling his name.
The doctor was looming over him when he blinked opened his eyes.
Steve stood near by, but Chin and Kono were gone and the doctor was talking to him, so Danny tried to pay attention. "We're going to turn off the vent and remove the tube." and the hissing pump quieted. "Just breathe normally."
He didn't know what the doctor was doing, but he breathed in and out, relieved that he was doing it all on his own. A few minutes passed and then the head of the bed was slightly raised. He noticed the nurse for the first time as she picked at the tape on the corner of his mouth and then a pillow was laid over his stomach and she put gentle pressure over his incision.
"When I tell you, I want you to take in a deep breath and then blow it out, okay...ready?"
He took in a breath and blew it out steadily, gagging as the tube was pulled from his throat. Fire burned through his gut, but the pain settled down as the doctor wiped at his mouth with gauze. He took a few more shallow breaths and then a spoon was placed near his lips.
"Just a few." Steve said, giving him another goofy grin as he pressed an ice chip into Danny's mouth and it was heavenly. He hadn’t realized how dry he was until the cool ice melted on his tongue.
"I don't want you to try to talk just yet," Dr. Hoy said, moving around the bed. "Your throat is going to be very sore for a few days."
Steve stepped back to let the doctor through. He lifted the sheet on Danny's left side and looked at something there, then reached toward the white dressing on Danny's stomach and peeled the tape holding it into place, pressing gently around Danny's incision. "We'll probably remove the chest tube later today, but the NG tube and cath will have to stay for a few more...think you want to sit up?"
He nodded, mouthing the word 'okay' and Steve smirked at him.
The nurse pulled off the bandage and replaced it with a new one and before the head of the bed was raised, she told him, "hold the pillow to your belly, to brace the incision site."
It hurt, his stomach folding as the bed moved up, but the pain was manageable.
"The nursing staff will be getting you sitting up a little later today," Dr. Hoy said, "but for now just get some rest and I'll be back to check on you later."
"Thank you," Danny whispered, but wished like hell he didn't.
The nurse bustled around when the doctor left, pulling things from drawers, sitting a strange looking contraption by his bed and explaining that he needed to use it every few hours to help him breath deep, to keep his lungs clear. She also explained how his pain relief worked and that all he had to do was press the button as many times as he needed. "You can't give yourself too much, but if you find that it beeps and you’re still hurting, you need to let us know."
Steve came back in view when she left, plopping down in the chair by his bed.
Danny was ridiculously happy he could now turn his head to follow Steve's movements.
Steve threaded his hand through the safety bar to grab Danny's arm. "You doing okay?" and Danny nodded, even though his eyes were getting heavier. "Go to sleep, Danno. I'll be here and you parents are coming in a bit..."
He mouthed, 'Thank you,' because he knew Steve was the one who had gotten his folks to him.
"Don't worry about it, babe...you're on the mend...everything’s okay now."
And Danny believed him, so he closed his eyes, but soon, they would all know how wrong Steve had been.
Part Eight