New Fic: A Time to Heal Part Five
Title: A Time to Heal
Author: Twilight
Summary: What the hell just happened? One minute he was holding his gun on Davis and the next he was on the ground with Danny bleeding all over him.
Rated: Pg 13
Feedback: Always welcome
Part One
Part Five
Hours later, Steve found himself back in the same waiting room, looking at the mess Kono had made with her coffee cup, sitting stiffly in a hard back chair, head pounding, restless, feeling every ache and pain he had earned in the days before.
Earlier, the staff had asked him to wait while they got Danny ready to be transported to the ICU.
So he sank back in his seat for the long haul, feeling utterly exhausted, his eyes puffy and sore, like they had sand in them, but he was unable to get to sleep in between his hourly visits, not even a cat nap, because he just couldn’t turn his brain off, couldn’t stop replaying Danny screaming his name and couldn’t stop feeling the tackle that sent them both toppling to the ground.
Every time he closed his eyes, he could hear the damn gun shot, and remembered knowing…knowing even before he heard Danny’s grunt of pain or the smell of his partner’s blood, that Danny had been hit.
And it's all my fault.
He had missed something, someone in the investigation, because all of Davis’ men where accounted for, all the suspects were at the undercover buy, so who the hell was gunning for them…for him?
Because even though it was Danny that took the hit, Steve knew, without a doubt, that bullet was meant for him.
Danny had seen the shooter and pushed Steve to safety and he was having…well, a really hard time accepting that, because Danny…Danny had Grace to think about and if he…Steve didn’t know what he would do if Danny didn’t make it…how would he explain to Gracie that her Danno was gone because of something he had missed?
A mistake I had made?
And if he were honest, he was scared for himself too.
Danny was…his, partner; yes…his best friend…but also…something else too.
He couldn’t explain it, but he knew whatever it was, he had never felt it before.
Sighing, he looked at his watch again, but only five minutes had passed since the last time he had checked.
And this time when he shifted in the seat again, trying to get comfortable, trying to ease the pain in his side, his tee shirt pulled away from his skin and he looked down at himself.
He had on a dark shirt and cargo pants, so the stains weren’t as visible, but Danny’s blood had dried hard and crusty and it was sticking and chafing against Steve’s skin.
Earlier, Chin and Kono had brought him some clean clothes, when they had stopped by his place, and before leaving had made him promise to at least clean up if he wasn’t going to go home, which he wasn’t…at least not yet.
In the morning…when Chin picked up Danny’s folks and brought them to the hospital.
He’d go home then, take a hot shower and scrub his skin raw, but for now…now he had a little time to clean up and change.
Before, he was too worried, scared for Danny’s life to take the time or care who might have seen him covered in blood, but now that Danny was going to the other unit...Steve didn’t want Danny to see him like this and he was thinking that Danny would be a little more aware soon.
At least he hoped so. Danny looked…well Danny didn’t look so good, but Janie had assured him that he was making good progress.
Since that first time Danny had opened his eyes and looked at him, he hadn’t opened them again. But he would stir a little when Steve took his hand and Steve found comfort in that, because Danny was holding on.
So each time he was allowed to visit, he talked to Danny, touch him anywhere and everywhere he could touch without hurting and in return, Danny would weakly grasp his fingers, would slightly turn his head toward Steve’s voice and that…that was something, that was improvement.
Checking his watch for the umpteenth time, he stood with a grunt, his legs a little unsteady, grabbed his ratty old backpack and headed down the hall to the men’s room. Janie said it would be at least a half hour before they got Danny settled in and then probably another half hour before Steve would be allowed to see him again, so he had time.
And even though it was still dark out, the sun still a ways from rising, his phone chirped, so he plucked it from one of his pockets and saw the caller was Danny’s parents.
He took a deep breath before saying, “hello, Mr. Williams?”
“No…its Melanie, Steve…we just landed and found our connecting flight and I…”
He nodded, even though Danny’s mom couldn’t see him. He somehow had forgotten that Danny’s parents didn’t know that Danny had made it through. “He’s being moved to the surgical intensive care,” he blurted, because he wanted her to know that her son was still holding on.
He could hear a choked off noise and her voice warbled as she said, “here, talk to Jimmy.”
And then Danny’s dad came on the line. “Steve?”
“Yes, sir,” and he rushed to assure Danny’s dad too. “He made it through surgery, he’s being moved…” but before he could finish, Danny’s dad was talking again.
“Oh, thank god…thank god…Mel? Come on, Darling…Sit down here.”
Steve listened as Danny’s mom sobbed again and the soft words of reassurance from her husband and then Danny’s dad came back on the line. “Steve? I don’t know how to thank you…”
But Steve shook his head; because he didn’t need to be thanked…it was his fault that their son had been shot to begin with.
“…it would have taken us days to get to our boy, so I don’t know how to repay you…”
Steve realized he was in the bathroom, so he went into the stall and locked the door, slinking down to rest on the toilet seat, shaking his head in denial.
Didn’t they understand?
“…have you been in to see him…have they let you be with him…I don’t want him to be alone,” Jimmy’s voice cracked and it was all Steve could do to answer in a steady voice of his own.
“Yeah, they ah…they give me a few minutes every hour. He ah…he opened his eyes the first time me and the rest of the team went in to see him and he’s been responding to my voice, so…”
“Good, that’s good…okay; they’re boarding our flight already. I gotta go, but next time you see him, you tell him his Poppy loves him…oh, and his Ma too. Tell him were coming, okay? Can you do that for us?”
“Yes, sir,” Steve managed, feeling hot tears pressing at his eyes again, unable to push down or compartmentalize his emotions. “I can do that…I’ll tell him.”
“Thank you, son. We’ll see you soon.”
And then the call disconnected and Steve grabbed his head with both hands, trying not to give in to his emotions, because if he started, he didn’t think he would be able to stop.
If Danny were here he would be telling Steve to use one of the tricks he had learned in SEAL School but damnit…Danny wasn’t here, Danny was in a bed somewhere, fighting for his life.
The first treacherous tear fell, followed by another, then another and soon he was crying and rocking on a dirty toilet seat in a hospital bathroom, but he didn’t care. He gave in, let go, let his body tremble with fatigue and guilt and anger over someone hurting his…
In a burst of rage, his fist collided with the unyielding metal of the stall door, but it felt good, so he hit it again and again, until his eyes dried and he could stand, taking a deep breath.
“Pity party over,” he said and grabbed a bunch of toilet paper to blow his nose.
He needed to get changed and get back out there, so he would be ready when they came to get him again.
Because Danny needed him and he needed Danny.
He pushed the stall door open, reaching for his hem and pulling the soiled shirt over his head, feeling the cool air and new aches as he moved to toss the ruined shirt in the trash.
In the mirrors over the sinks he could see the faded red stains on the skin of his torso and a grouping of purpling bruises over his ribs and side.
He quickly shucked his cargo pants too, pulling off his badge, taking his phone and his wallet from a pocket, finding Danny’s stuff too.
Along the way someone had handed him Danny’s personal belongings and he shoved Danny’s things in one of his pants pockets.
Steve guessed, hoped that Danny’s gun had been collected at the scene.
He dropped their stuff into the open backpack before grabbing some paper towels from the dispenser, running them under hot water and the hand soap, before scrubbing at the dried blood on his skin.
He scrubbed until his skin was pink and then scrubbed some more, longing for that shower he had promised himself when he got home, but this would have to do for now.
Fairly clean, he pulled on a pair of jeans and a blue polo shirt he found in the bag, putting his wallet in his back pocket, his phone in the front and his badge at his waist, but he left Danny’s stuff in the nearly empty bag, and then he leaned over and picked up Danny’s badge, running fingers over the raised metal, the insignia for their task force, before he slipped it into his other front pocket. It felt right to hang on to it, until he could give it back to Danny himself.
Glancing at his watch again, he took the time to wash his face and rinse his mouth with cool water, run his wet fingers through his hair, then gave himself a once over in the mirror.
He felt a little better now.
Shoving the dirty pants down in the trash can with his tee, he pulled the bag out and tied it off, lifting it out of the receptacle and putting it by the door for someone to dispose of.
That was the best he could do for now, so he headed back to the hard chairs of the waiting room.
Time passed slowly and Steve tried to occupy his mind with the facts of the case, tried hard not to close his eyes, but at some point he must have dozed off, because someone was shaking his shoulder, calling his name.
His eyes blinked opened to see a new face.
“Hello, Commander McGarrett," a woman said. She was dressed in pink scrubs, short black hair tucked behind her ears and her face was open, pleasant. “We have your partner settled, so you can come back now.”
He didn’t have to be told twice, so he grabbed his bag and followed her through a maze of corridors.
Danny’s room was near the nurses station and a few other recovering occupants were also on the ward.
This time the room was bigger, walls made of glass, covered with vertical blinds for privacy instead of pulled curtains.
She pushed opened the sliding door and he followed her in, his eyes going to his partner lying on the bed.
Danny was still motionless, except for the machine in his lung, that artificially breathed for him, making his chest rise and fall and he was still surrounded by other equipment too, but for some reason, he looked a little better to Steve.
“People will be coming and going, checking on him from time to time, but if you need anything you can ask at the nurse’s station.”
He thanked her, told her about Danny’s parents arrival, and she noted their names on a computer console that sat in the corner of the room, before stepping out.
Once she was gone, Steve stowed his pack under the chair that sat near the bed and then moved a little closer to Danny, reaching for his hand. “Hey, buddy…I’m here, for a little bit at least. You’re doing great.”
Danny twitched his fingers, his head moving a little on the pillow so he continued. “Your Mom and Dad are on a flight here…they’ll be here,” he looked at his watch, about to say, in the morning, but it was already morning. “They’ll be here before you know it and your dad made me promise to tell you that your Ma and Poppy loves you.”
Danny’s eyes fluttered, but didn’t open and Steve wondered if he could really hear him. “And ah…We all love you too, you know.”
Steve reached forward with his other hand, running his fingers through messy blond hair, using his blunt nails to scratch and soothe. “I love you, Danno…you hear me? It’s gonna be all right, you’ll see.”
Steve’s hand stilled in Danny’s hair as Danny’s eyes fluttered again. “Don’t worry about us, we’re okay.” And then puffy eyes opened to mere slits, but it was enough for Steve. He leaned forward, pressing a tiny kiss to Danny’s forehead and said, “you just work on getting better.”
H50H50H50
Part Six
Author: Twilight
Summary: What the hell just happened? One minute he was holding his gun on Davis and the next he was on the ground with Danny bleeding all over him.
Rated: Pg 13
Feedback: Always welcome
Part One
Part Five
Hours later, Steve found himself back in the same waiting room, looking at the mess Kono had made with her coffee cup, sitting stiffly in a hard back chair, head pounding, restless, feeling every ache and pain he had earned in the days before.
Earlier, the staff had asked him to wait while they got Danny ready to be transported to the ICU.
So he sank back in his seat for the long haul, feeling utterly exhausted, his eyes puffy and sore, like they had sand in them, but he was unable to get to sleep in between his hourly visits, not even a cat nap, because he just couldn’t turn his brain off, couldn’t stop replaying Danny screaming his name and couldn’t stop feeling the tackle that sent them both toppling to the ground.
Every time he closed his eyes, he could hear the damn gun shot, and remembered knowing…knowing even before he heard Danny’s grunt of pain or the smell of his partner’s blood, that Danny had been hit.
And it's all my fault.
He had missed something, someone in the investigation, because all of Davis’ men where accounted for, all the suspects were at the undercover buy, so who the hell was gunning for them…for him?
Because even though it was Danny that took the hit, Steve knew, without a doubt, that bullet was meant for him.
Danny had seen the shooter and pushed Steve to safety and he was having…well, a really hard time accepting that, because Danny…Danny had Grace to think about and if he…Steve didn’t know what he would do if Danny didn’t make it…how would he explain to Gracie that her Danno was gone because of something he had missed?
A mistake I had made?
And if he were honest, he was scared for himself too.
Danny was…his, partner; yes…his best friend…but also…something else too.
He couldn’t explain it, but he knew whatever it was, he had never felt it before.
Sighing, he looked at his watch again, but only five minutes had passed since the last time he had checked.
And this time when he shifted in the seat again, trying to get comfortable, trying to ease the pain in his side, his tee shirt pulled away from his skin and he looked down at himself.
He had on a dark shirt and cargo pants, so the stains weren’t as visible, but Danny’s blood had dried hard and crusty and it was sticking and chafing against Steve’s skin.
Earlier, Chin and Kono had brought him some clean clothes, when they had stopped by his place, and before leaving had made him promise to at least clean up if he wasn’t going to go home, which he wasn’t…at least not yet.
In the morning…when Chin picked up Danny’s folks and brought them to the hospital.
He’d go home then, take a hot shower and scrub his skin raw, but for now…now he had a little time to clean up and change.
Before, he was too worried, scared for Danny’s life to take the time or care who might have seen him covered in blood, but now that Danny was going to the other unit...Steve didn’t want Danny to see him like this and he was thinking that Danny would be a little more aware soon.
At least he hoped so. Danny looked…well Danny didn’t look so good, but Janie had assured him that he was making good progress.
Since that first time Danny had opened his eyes and looked at him, he hadn’t opened them again. But he would stir a little when Steve took his hand and Steve found comfort in that, because Danny was holding on.
So each time he was allowed to visit, he talked to Danny, touch him anywhere and everywhere he could touch without hurting and in return, Danny would weakly grasp his fingers, would slightly turn his head toward Steve’s voice and that…that was something, that was improvement.
Checking his watch for the umpteenth time, he stood with a grunt, his legs a little unsteady, grabbed his ratty old backpack and headed down the hall to the men’s room. Janie said it would be at least a half hour before they got Danny settled in and then probably another half hour before Steve would be allowed to see him again, so he had time.
And even though it was still dark out, the sun still a ways from rising, his phone chirped, so he plucked it from one of his pockets and saw the caller was Danny’s parents.
He took a deep breath before saying, “hello, Mr. Williams?”
“No…its Melanie, Steve…we just landed and found our connecting flight and I…”
He nodded, even though Danny’s mom couldn’t see him. He somehow had forgotten that Danny’s parents didn’t know that Danny had made it through. “He’s being moved to the surgical intensive care,” he blurted, because he wanted her to know that her son was still holding on.
He could hear a choked off noise and her voice warbled as she said, “here, talk to Jimmy.”
And then Danny’s dad came on the line. “Steve?”
“Yes, sir,” and he rushed to assure Danny’s dad too. “He made it through surgery, he’s being moved…” but before he could finish, Danny’s dad was talking again.
“Oh, thank god…thank god…Mel? Come on, Darling…Sit down here.”
Steve listened as Danny’s mom sobbed again and the soft words of reassurance from her husband and then Danny’s dad came back on the line. “Steve? I don’t know how to thank you…”
But Steve shook his head; because he didn’t need to be thanked…it was his fault that their son had been shot to begin with.
“…it would have taken us days to get to our boy, so I don’t know how to repay you…”
Steve realized he was in the bathroom, so he went into the stall and locked the door, slinking down to rest on the toilet seat, shaking his head in denial.
Didn’t they understand?
“…have you been in to see him…have they let you be with him…I don’t want him to be alone,” Jimmy’s voice cracked and it was all Steve could do to answer in a steady voice of his own.
“Yeah, they ah…they give me a few minutes every hour. He ah…he opened his eyes the first time me and the rest of the team went in to see him and he’s been responding to my voice, so…”
“Good, that’s good…okay; they’re boarding our flight already. I gotta go, but next time you see him, you tell him his Poppy loves him…oh, and his Ma too. Tell him were coming, okay? Can you do that for us?”
“Yes, sir,” Steve managed, feeling hot tears pressing at his eyes again, unable to push down or compartmentalize his emotions. “I can do that…I’ll tell him.”
“Thank you, son. We’ll see you soon.”
And then the call disconnected and Steve grabbed his head with both hands, trying not to give in to his emotions, because if he started, he didn’t think he would be able to stop.
If Danny were here he would be telling Steve to use one of the tricks he had learned in SEAL School but damnit…Danny wasn’t here, Danny was in a bed somewhere, fighting for his life.
The first treacherous tear fell, followed by another, then another and soon he was crying and rocking on a dirty toilet seat in a hospital bathroom, but he didn’t care. He gave in, let go, let his body tremble with fatigue and guilt and anger over someone hurting his…
In a burst of rage, his fist collided with the unyielding metal of the stall door, but it felt good, so he hit it again and again, until his eyes dried and he could stand, taking a deep breath.
“Pity party over,” he said and grabbed a bunch of toilet paper to blow his nose.
He needed to get changed and get back out there, so he would be ready when they came to get him again.
Because Danny needed him and he needed Danny.
He pushed the stall door open, reaching for his hem and pulling the soiled shirt over his head, feeling the cool air and new aches as he moved to toss the ruined shirt in the trash.
In the mirrors over the sinks he could see the faded red stains on the skin of his torso and a grouping of purpling bruises over his ribs and side.
He quickly shucked his cargo pants too, pulling off his badge, taking his phone and his wallet from a pocket, finding Danny’s stuff too.
Along the way someone had handed him Danny’s personal belongings and he shoved Danny’s things in one of his pants pockets.
Steve guessed, hoped that Danny’s gun had been collected at the scene.
He dropped their stuff into the open backpack before grabbing some paper towels from the dispenser, running them under hot water and the hand soap, before scrubbing at the dried blood on his skin.
He scrubbed until his skin was pink and then scrubbed some more, longing for that shower he had promised himself when he got home, but this would have to do for now.
Fairly clean, he pulled on a pair of jeans and a blue polo shirt he found in the bag, putting his wallet in his back pocket, his phone in the front and his badge at his waist, but he left Danny’s stuff in the nearly empty bag, and then he leaned over and picked up Danny’s badge, running fingers over the raised metal, the insignia for their task force, before he slipped it into his other front pocket. It felt right to hang on to it, until he could give it back to Danny himself.
Glancing at his watch again, he took the time to wash his face and rinse his mouth with cool water, run his wet fingers through his hair, then gave himself a once over in the mirror.
He felt a little better now.
Shoving the dirty pants down in the trash can with his tee, he pulled the bag out and tied it off, lifting it out of the receptacle and putting it by the door for someone to dispose of.
That was the best he could do for now, so he headed back to the hard chairs of the waiting room.
Time passed slowly and Steve tried to occupy his mind with the facts of the case, tried hard not to close his eyes, but at some point he must have dozed off, because someone was shaking his shoulder, calling his name.
His eyes blinked opened to see a new face.
“Hello, Commander McGarrett," a woman said. She was dressed in pink scrubs, short black hair tucked behind her ears and her face was open, pleasant. “We have your partner settled, so you can come back now.”
He didn’t have to be told twice, so he grabbed his bag and followed her through a maze of corridors.
Danny’s room was near the nurses station and a few other recovering occupants were also on the ward.
This time the room was bigger, walls made of glass, covered with vertical blinds for privacy instead of pulled curtains.
She pushed opened the sliding door and he followed her in, his eyes going to his partner lying on the bed.
Danny was still motionless, except for the machine in his lung, that artificially breathed for him, making his chest rise and fall and he was still surrounded by other equipment too, but for some reason, he looked a little better to Steve.
“People will be coming and going, checking on him from time to time, but if you need anything you can ask at the nurse’s station.”
He thanked her, told her about Danny’s parents arrival, and she noted their names on a computer console that sat in the corner of the room, before stepping out.
Once she was gone, Steve stowed his pack under the chair that sat near the bed and then moved a little closer to Danny, reaching for his hand. “Hey, buddy…I’m here, for a little bit at least. You’re doing great.”
Danny twitched his fingers, his head moving a little on the pillow so he continued. “Your Mom and Dad are on a flight here…they’ll be here,” he looked at his watch, about to say, in the morning, but it was already morning. “They’ll be here before you know it and your dad made me promise to tell you that your Ma and Poppy loves you.”
Danny’s eyes fluttered, but didn’t open and Steve wondered if he could really hear him. “And ah…We all love you too, you know.”
Steve reached forward with his other hand, running his fingers through messy blond hair, using his blunt nails to scratch and soothe. “I love you, Danno…you hear me? It’s gonna be all right, you’ll see.”
Steve’s hand stilled in Danny’s hair as Danny’s eyes fluttered again. “Don’t worry about us, we’re okay.” And then puffy eyes opened to mere slits, but it was enough for Steve. He leaned forward, pressing a tiny kiss to Danny’s forehead and said, “you just work on getting better.”
H50H50H50
Part Six