Better Days (Fraser's Version)
Title: Better Days
Pairing: RayK/Fraser
Rating: T
Word Count: 384
Quote: “True it is that we have seen better days” - As you like it - Shakespeare
Summary: How Fraser feels about Rayk and the death of Stella - A Sestina
Notes: (\Yes this is a kind of sequel but not really, they're two sides of the same story but it makes more sense if you read the other first) It's a Sestina which if you're unfamiliar with I have again given an explanation for at the end (suffice to say watch which order the end words for each line occur)
Warnings: References to character death (Stella) and some slash and it's little AU since Stella never died in the show :P
Also check out Ray's Version
Better Days
If only he knew how beautiful he was in this moment,
the rising sun inching across his shoulder blades
It's times like this I can barely keep it in,
when I give into the need to pull him close
trying to be gentle
and not wake him because he hasn't slept well in days
But it's so hard not to think back to those days
when we were living moment to moment,
when each night I'd force him to bed gently,
knowing myself so well the double edged blade
that exists in dreams and it took all I had not to pull him close
in some futile attempt to stop the darkness getting in
I wish I could teach him how to keep it all in,
how to walk like normal through blackened days,
how to hold your emotions close
to your chest so that each passing moment
doesn't feel like it's ripping into you like a blade.
But he'll never learn to let each agony pass by gently
Because he never does anything gently
always raging and loving and letting it all get in,
even when grief becomes a searing blade
so painful he barely speaks for days.
But at least he lets me near in those moments
let me be there beside him till his rage drew to a close
And when the tears finally did fall he let me pull him close
let me rock with him gently
in that distant quiet moment
where it felt like finally the memories couldn't get in
that again we will both see the coming of better days
and that there will be love even after so much was taken by the blade
But instead of telling him, I run a line of kisses across his shoulder blades
and in response I feel him shifting back, drawing close
eyes closed and refusing to face the day
that drifts across the floorboards gently.
He's happy here, I realise, not wanting reality to get in
and I too am content just to lay here in this pleasant moment
Because just maybe for a moment we can forget that blade and refuse to let reality in,
and I can hold him close gently and forget how true it is that that we have seen better days.
Ok, this is a Sestina, which in itself requires some explanation, so here goes: It's poem in which the same six words found at the end the lines of each of the six-line stanzas (in this poem - 1- moment, 2- blade, 3- in, 4- close,5- gentle, 6- days), are repeated in each stanza but put in a different order each time.
If we number the first stanza's words 123456 (see above), then the words ending the second stanza's lines appear in the order 615243,(because we jump back and forward from bottom to top and back again till we reach the middle) then 364125, then 532614, then 451362, and finally 246531 (Get it?). Then on the last (two line) stanza we use three words in each line in order of 123 then 456 just like the first stanza)
(eg In this poem - Because just maybe for a moment we can forget that blade and refuse to let reality in
and I can hold him close gently and forget how true it is that that we have seen better days. )
Hope you enjoyed them both :)
Did you think they worked together ok? I'd love to hear what people thought? Any criticism is also welcome !!!!!
Pairing: RayK/Fraser
Rating: T
Word Count: 384
Quote: “True it is that we have seen better days” - As you like it - Shakespeare
Summary: How Fraser feels about Rayk and the death of Stella - A Sestina
Notes: (\Yes this is a kind of sequel but not really, they're two sides of the same story but it makes more sense if you read the other first) It's a Sestina which if you're unfamiliar with I have again given an explanation for at the end (suffice to say watch which order the end words for each line occur)
Warnings: References to character death (Stella) and some slash and it's little AU since Stella never died in the show :P
Also check out Ray's Version
Better Days
If only he knew how beautiful he was in this moment,
the rising sun inching across his shoulder blades
It's times like this I can barely keep it in,
when I give into the need to pull him close
trying to be gentle
and not wake him because he hasn't slept well in days
But it's so hard not to think back to those days
when we were living moment to moment,
when each night I'd force him to bed gently,
knowing myself so well the double edged blade
that exists in dreams and it took all I had not to pull him close
in some futile attempt to stop the darkness getting in
I wish I could teach him how to keep it all in,
how to walk like normal through blackened days,
how to hold your emotions close
to your chest so that each passing moment
doesn't feel like it's ripping into you like a blade.
But he'll never learn to let each agony pass by gently
Because he never does anything gently
always raging and loving and letting it all get in,
even when grief becomes a searing blade
so painful he barely speaks for days.
But at least he lets me near in those moments
let me be there beside him till his rage drew to a close
And when the tears finally did fall he let me pull him close
let me rock with him gently
in that distant quiet moment
where it felt like finally the memories couldn't get in
that again we will both see the coming of better days
and that there will be love even after so much was taken by the blade
But instead of telling him, I run a line of kisses across his shoulder blades
and in response I feel him shifting back, drawing close
eyes closed and refusing to face the day
that drifts across the floorboards gently.
He's happy here, I realise, not wanting reality to get in
and I too am content just to lay here in this pleasant moment
Because just maybe for a moment we can forget that blade and refuse to let reality in,
and I can hold him close gently and forget how true it is that that we have seen better days.
Ok, this is a Sestina, which in itself requires some explanation, so here goes: It's poem in which the same six words found at the end the lines of each of the six-line stanzas (in this poem - 1- moment, 2- blade, 3- in, 4- close,5- gentle, 6- days), are repeated in each stanza but put in a different order each time.
If we number the first stanza's words 123456 (see above), then the words ending the second stanza's lines appear in the order 615243,(because we jump back and forward from bottom to top and back again till we reach the middle) then 364125, then 532614, then 451362, and finally 246531 (Get it?). Then on the last (two line) stanza we use three words in each line in order of 123 then 456 just like the first stanza)
(eg In this poem - Because just maybe for a moment we can forget that blade and refuse to let reality in
and I can hold him close gently and forget how true it is that that we have seen better days. )
Hope you enjoyed them both :)
Did you think they worked together ok? I'd love to hear what people thought? Any criticism is also welcome !!!!!