Better Days (Ray's version - read first)
Title: Better Days
Pairing: RayK/Fraser
Rating: T
Word Count: 605
Quote: “True it is that we have seen better days” - As you like it - Shakespeare
Summary: How Fraser helps Ray after Stella is Killed - A Sestina
Notes: It's a Sestina which if you're unfamiliar with I have given an explanation for at the end (suffice to say watch which order the end words for each line occur)
Warnings: References to character death (Stella) and some slash and it's little AU since Stella never died in the show :P
Also check out Fraser's Version
Better Days
In this moment,
breath warming the skin between my shoulder blades,
there are his arms pulling me in,
keeping me close
and it's ok because I know he is gentle
even when darkness clouds our days.
Even on that dreadful day
when I lost everything in a moment,
he grasped my arm and led me away gently.
When grief made me dream of razorblades
and I was so close,
almost losing it, almost giving in
But his arms where there, helping me keep it all in,
whispering to me of better days
using words to distract my mind from getting too close
to knowing what actually happened in that moment,
to remembering what was taken away by that dreadful blade
and what later he gave back gently.
I remember it now as his arms are gently,
in these waking moments, pulling me in
and while it sits there still, that blood soaked blade
real in my dreams and haunting my days
I can still have this moment
of warmth, of newly found love, of closeness
I can feel it now drawing to a close
that when I think of her the memories are gentle
and if I don't focus on that moment
then the loss doesn't drag me in
and I might not think of it for days
I might not feel that it is I who took the blade
Just maybe one day I won't even see that blade
and be thankful that he kept me close
that he weathered all my hate-filled days
and that with my heart he remained gentle
hopeful that one day I could let him in
that we could be here now in this moment
This moment with his breath between my shoulder blades, his arms drawing me in
so that he can keep me close, this gentleman, even when we know how true it is that we have seen better days
Ok, this is a Sestina, which in itself requires some explanation, so here goes: It's poem in which the same six words found at the end the lines of each of the six-line stanzas (in this poem - 1- moment, 2- blade, 3- in, 4- close,5- gentle, 6- days), are repeated in each stanza but put in a different order each time.
If we number the first stanza's words 123456 (see above), then the words ending the second stanza's lines appear in the order 615243,(because we jump back and forward from bottom to top and back again till we reach the middle) then 364125, then 532614, then 451362, and finally 246531 (Get it?). Then on the last (two line) stanza we use three words in each line in order of 123 then 456 just like the first stanza)
(eg In this poem - This moment with his breath between my shoulder blades, his arms drawing me in
so that he can keep me close, this gentleman, even when we know how true it is that we have seen better days)
Confusing enough?!?!? Sorry, if my explanation sucks. But at least it gives you an idea of why this poem probably reads a bit strangely. Hope you enjoyed it anyway :)
Please comment or I probably won't have the courage to ever post another poem like this one - it was weirdly difficult :P but fun.