Lube Challenge by Aingeal
Title: Five times Ray forgot the lube and the alternatives Fraser offered
Author: Aingeal
Pairing: Fraser/Vecchio
Rating: R probably
Summary: Ray finds out the hard way that lube comes in many forms.
Notes: Thank you to leda_speaks for a plesant, moisturising, beta.
Five times Ray forgot the lube and the alternatives Fraser offered
In which Ray’s automotive supplies are reduced
It was very romantic. They were sitting in the Riv parked next to Lake Michigan. There was a gentle breeze coming off the lake and it was a full moon. It was the perfect situation for a couple to make the most of the space offered by the backseat of a 1971 Buick Riviera. At least, that was what Ray had been thinking and it seemed that Fraser shared his enthusiasm.
They were tussling in the backseat when Fraser apparently decided he needed to clarify their immediate future.
“Ray?”
Ray tore himself away from nibbling Fraser’s ear. “Mmm, what, Benny?”
“The intention is to make love here, isn’t it?”
“That’s what we were doing, yeah.” Ray decided Fraser did look particularly attractive mid-foreplay.
“How?”
“How are we going to? You know how Benny.” They had done it often enough.
“I meant what form of...?”
“I was thinking, you know…” Ray gently caressed Fraser’s derrière.
“I don’t know, Ray.”
Ray wondered why he bothered being subtle but this was Benny and talking to Benny about sex without feeling like a dirty old man was something he hadn't yet quite mastered. Even though he was only a year older than Fraser. “The intimate thing, when me and you do the…” he trailed off and tried a leer.
“Anal sex, Ray?”
“Do you have to make it sound that unromantic?” Ray asked.
“Sorry, Ray. But we don’t have any lubrication.”
“You didn’t bring any?” Ray always relied on Fraser for the lube. It was an unwritten part of their partnership.
Fraser looked embarrassed. “I left it at the consulate.”
Ray’s hopes for the evening were dashed. “Great.”
“Do you have an alternative, Ray?”
“Like what?”
“Well, we could see what’s available in the trunk.”
“Fine,” Ray said pulling his clothes into some sort of order. “You know you have a sick sense of foreplay.”
“Sorry, Ray.”
“Let’s just go and check before I lose it.”
“Fair enough.”
After a couple of attempts they made it out of the backseat of the Riv. Ray popped the trunk and Fraser immediately dived in amongst the various bits and pieces Ray kept there for automotive emergencies.
“What about this, Ray?” Fraser asked, holding up a blue bottle.
“We can’t use that, Benny, it’s windscreen wash.”
Fraser read the label. “Ah, yes, the ingredients are slightly….poisonous.”
“Slightly?”
Fraser put that back and brought out another container. “What about this?”
“Oil? Do you know how much twenty weight oil costs?”
“So you wouldn’t want to?”
“Benny, I am not using motor oil for lube,” Ray said firmly.
Once more Fraser dived into the trunk and brought out a jar. “There’s this.”
Ray took the jar. “Axel grease?”
“This particular sort seems to be animal fat based. It’s probably all right to use. Or there’s motor oil.”
Ray sighed. “Axel grease will be fine.”
He grabbed the jar and his Mountie and headed back into the backseat where it took ten minutes for them to get where they had been. There wasn’t a lot of the axel grease left but it did the job. Ray was surprised by how well it worked. Until two days later when he had to take the Riv into the shop with a damaged, un-lubricated axel.
In which Ray feels for a seal
While Fraser’s apartment wasn’t Ray’s favourite place in Chicago he had to admit the privacy it offered to him and Fraser made the sometimes long and involved process of actually getting there and inside more than worthwhile. In fact, he couldn’t think of any objections to the place when he was lying naked underneath Benny, waiting for the inevitable.
“Mmmm, Benny, have you got the lube?” Ray asked, feeling flushed.
Fraser paused in his sucking of Ray’s nipples. “Oh dear.”
“Oh dear? You didn’t buy any?” Ray groaned.
“I meant to pick some up on the way home but we got distracted by that cat.”
“You got distracted by the cat,” Ray pointed out. “Anyway, it was stuffed.”
“But we didn’t know that at the time, Ray. However, I do have something we can use instead.”
Fraser got up off the bed and went to his father's trunk. He unlocked it, which seemed to take forever to Ray, and brought out a tub. It was the same sort of tub Ray’s mother stored her leftovers in. Fraser walked back over to the bed, opening it up. The smell hit Ray and he screwed up his nose.
“What is that stuff, Benny?” Ray asked, slightly nervous as Fraser scooped some out.
“It’s seal grease.”
”Where did you get seal grease from?
“It so happens that an Inuit friend sent me a jar. It’s quite nutritious.”
“So, why do you want to spread it on my butt?” Ray asked, as Fraser did just that. The stuff was cold.
“It’s also excellent as lubrication. In addition, it has a pleasant taste.”
“I’m not licking it off you.”
“I don’t want you to, Ray.”
Before Ray could think any further Fraser was well into his preparations and Ray’s brain headed south for while. It wasn't until the next morning, when people started commenting on the smell that seemed to follow him everywhere, that Ray really felt sorry for the poor seal.
In which Ray raids his mother’s kitchen cupboard
Although Fraser’s apartment was great for privacy occasionally Ray liked to take full advantage of the space and comfort his own home and bedroom offered. So it was one lazy afternoon that he and Fraser were in bed. Ray had already decided that the image of Fraser lying in his bed was going to be keeping him company on a lot of lonely nights.
“Ray, are you sure about this?” Fraser asked as Ray kissed his way down his torso,
“Everybody’s out, Benny, they won’t be back for hours, we’re fine.”
“Actually, Ray, I was referring to the lack of lubrication.”
Ray looked up. “I have some right there.” He pointed to the table by his bedside.
Fraser picked up the tube Ray was indicating. “The tube appears to be empty, Ray.”
Ray wanted to bury himself in his pillows. “Damn.”
“I’m sure there’s an alternative here somewhere, Ray. Perhaps in the kitchen.”
“The kitchen? Where the sharp objects are? You want us to go down there naked?” Ray didn’t like that idea. He had equipment out in the open.
Fraser was already up and moving. “You did say there was no-one else in the house.”
Ray reluctantly untangled himself from the sheets. “Okay, fine.”
Ray was slower in his trip to the kitchen and when he got there Fraser was already well into his search of the cupboards, pulling out jars and cans before placing them back exactly where he had found them. It was enough to drive Ray crazy.
“What are you looking for?” Ray asked.
“I’ve found it, Ray,” Fraser replied brandishing a bottle of green-yellow liquid.
“Olive oil. You know, there’s a cooking joke I could make here, Benny.”
“It seems appropriate, Ray.”
Ray recognised the look his lover was currently wearing. “We are not doing it in the kitchen.”
“I thought was a tradition.”
“Not yet it isn’t. Look, let’s take the bottle upstairs,” Ray said, taking it from Fraser.
“Won’t your mother mind?”
“She’ll never know, we’ll just be careful how much we use.”
Fraser seemed pleased. “That’s very good thinking, Ray.”
Together they headed back upstairs. In Ray’s opinion olive oil worked better than seal grease. Plus it smelt better. Once the family got some no-one was any the wiser as to what had gone on. Everything was fine. Until his mother asked where her olive oil was and Ray realised they had left it on the bedside table.
In which Ray finds out he’s allergic to Francesca’s skin moisturiser
Following the embarrassment of his mother finding out what one of her most prized ingredients had been used for, Ray thought it appropriate to spend a lot of time at Fraser’s apartment. Where, inevitably, one thing would lead to another and they would find themselves in bed. Like at the present time. Ray was lying back, wondering what his lover was thinking.
“Benny, why are you looking at me like that?”
Fraser licked his lips and Ray suddenly had a pretty good idea why. “I want to make love to you but I’m afraid the only form of lubrication I have is this…”
Fraser reached over to the edge of the bed on which was situated a white bottle was precariously placed in reach. He handed it to Ray.
“Skincare products?”
“Your sister gave it to me.”
“She just gave you a thirty dollar bottle of moisturiser?” Ray was taken aback by the fact that he knew how much it cost. He’d been paying too much attention to Frannie lately.
“She said I needed to make sure my skin didn’t dry out in this harsh climate.”
“Yeah, I bet.” Ray sighed. How could he deny Benny when he was looking like that? He handed him the bottle. “Okay, Benny, just don’t tell my sister this was what you used it for.”
Despite it being a Francesca recommendation it worked surprisingly well. That was until they had both snuggled up to each other and fallen asleep. About five minutes after dropping off, Ray was wide awake. And in pain.
“Are you all right, Ray?” Fraser asked.
Ray was moving around a lot in the small bed, creating mini earthquakes of blanket. “No I’m not. What was in that stuff?”
”What stuff?”
“The moisturiser.”
“Why, Ray?”
“My butt hurts,” Ray said, reaching down to touch it.
“Oh, was I too….?”
“I mean it really hurts! It’s itchy and sore,” Ray explained, scratching as best he could.
“Oh dear.”
“Take a look, Benny.”
Fraser pulled back the blanket and sheet and inspected the damage.
“Ah, you appear to have a rash, Ray.”
“A rash?!”
“Yes. I’ll get some soap and water and clean it off. That might help soothe it,” Fraser said, rushing to the sink.
“Just hurry up!”
Despite Fraser’s tender loving care Ray’s allergic reaction took some time to die. He wasn’t able to sit down for the rest of the week. He ended up pretending he had some sort poison ivy which led to several weeks of humiliation from Huey and Louis.
In which Ray finally has an alternative he can live with
After that mistake, it was some time before either of them brought up the subject of sex. Of course, they still made love, but in other ways, ones which didn’t require the application of skin products. That was until one late night session when Fraser stopped lavishing attention on Ray’s neck and broached the issue
“Ray?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you want to make love the intimate way?” he asked, touching Ray’s cock like he was greeting a long lost friend, even though he’d been intimate with said friend an hour earlier.
Ray smiled. “Sure, Benny.”
“You’re not too sore?”
It had been a month since the skin moisturiser incident. Ray was now in the clear regarding that, though not from the jokes of this colleagues. “I’m fine, Benny, as long as I’m not on the receiving end this time.”
“You want to risk it on your…?” Fraser did the caressing thing again.
Ray nodded. “You do have lube, right?”
“I’m afraid not, Ray.”
Ray braced himself. “Okay, so what are we using this time?”
Fraser smiled confidently and held up a finger. He briefly went to the kitchen and brought out a small tub from one of the cupboards. Ray groaned at the thought of another foodstuff. But at least it wouldn’t make him itchy.
“How about this, Ray?” Fraser handed the tub to Ray.
“Vaseline?”
“It’s supposed to be good for the skin and I’m sure it’s perfectly adequate as a lubricant.”
Ray smiled. This was safe. He knew he wasn’t allergic to it. “Okay, Benny. Just lay back and relax.”
Fraser did as he was told and Ray took great delight and time in preparing them both. As he finally entered Fraser, he had to admit that, despite their lube issues, there was nothing to beat this, moving in and out of an aroused, loving Mountie. Ray leaned down and gave Fraser a kiss. As he began to be caught up in their lovemaking, he made a silent promise to himself. Next time, he would be in charge of the lube.
Author: Aingeal
Pairing: Fraser/Vecchio
Rating: R probably
Summary: Ray finds out the hard way that lube comes in many forms.
Notes: Thank you to leda_speaks for a plesant, moisturising, beta.
Five times Ray forgot the lube and the alternatives Fraser offered
In which Ray’s automotive supplies are reduced
It was very romantic. They were sitting in the Riv parked next to Lake Michigan. There was a gentle breeze coming off the lake and it was a full moon. It was the perfect situation for a couple to make the most of the space offered by the backseat of a 1971 Buick Riviera. At least, that was what Ray had been thinking and it seemed that Fraser shared his enthusiasm.
They were tussling in the backseat when Fraser apparently decided he needed to clarify their immediate future.
“Ray?”
Ray tore himself away from nibbling Fraser’s ear. “Mmm, what, Benny?”
“The intention is to make love here, isn’t it?”
“That’s what we were doing, yeah.” Ray decided Fraser did look particularly attractive mid-foreplay.
“How?”
“How are we going to? You know how Benny.” They had done it often enough.
“I meant what form of...?”
“I was thinking, you know…” Ray gently caressed Fraser’s derrière.
“I don’t know, Ray.”
Ray wondered why he bothered being subtle but this was Benny and talking to Benny about sex without feeling like a dirty old man was something he hadn't yet quite mastered. Even though he was only a year older than Fraser. “The intimate thing, when me and you do the…” he trailed off and tried a leer.
“Anal sex, Ray?”
“Do you have to make it sound that unromantic?” Ray asked.
“Sorry, Ray. But we don’t have any lubrication.”
“You didn’t bring any?” Ray always relied on Fraser for the lube. It was an unwritten part of their partnership.
Fraser looked embarrassed. “I left it at the consulate.”
Ray’s hopes for the evening were dashed. “Great.”
“Do you have an alternative, Ray?”
“Like what?”
“Well, we could see what’s available in the trunk.”
“Fine,” Ray said pulling his clothes into some sort of order. “You know you have a sick sense of foreplay.”
“Sorry, Ray.”
“Let’s just go and check before I lose it.”
“Fair enough.”
After a couple of attempts they made it out of the backseat of the Riv. Ray popped the trunk and Fraser immediately dived in amongst the various bits and pieces Ray kept there for automotive emergencies.
“What about this, Ray?” Fraser asked, holding up a blue bottle.
“We can’t use that, Benny, it’s windscreen wash.”
Fraser read the label. “Ah, yes, the ingredients are slightly….poisonous.”
“Slightly?”
Fraser put that back and brought out another container. “What about this?”
“Oil? Do you know how much twenty weight oil costs?”
“So you wouldn’t want to?”
“Benny, I am not using motor oil for lube,” Ray said firmly.
Once more Fraser dived into the trunk and brought out a jar. “There’s this.”
Ray took the jar. “Axel grease?”
“This particular sort seems to be animal fat based. It’s probably all right to use. Or there’s motor oil.”
Ray sighed. “Axel grease will be fine.”
He grabbed the jar and his Mountie and headed back into the backseat where it took ten minutes for them to get where they had been. There wasn’t a lot of the axel grease left but it did the job. Ray was surprised by how well it worked. Until two days later when he had to take the Riv into the shop with a damaged, un-lubricated axel.
In which Ray feels for a seal
While Fraser’s apartment wasn’t Ray’s favourite place in Chicago he had to admit the privacy it offered to him and Fraser made the sometimes long and involved process of actually getting there and inside more than worthwhile. In fact, he couldn’t think of any objections to the place when he was lying naked underneath Benny, waiting for the inevitable.
“Mmmm, Benny, have you got the lube?” Ray asked, feeling flushed.
Fraser paused in his sucking of Ray’s nipples. “Oh dear.”
“Oh dear? You didn’t buy any?” Ray groaned.
“I meant to pick some up on the way home but we got distracted by that cat.”
“You got distracted by the cat,” Ray pointed out. “Anyway, it was stuffed.”
“But we didn’t know that at the time, Ray. However, I do have something we can use instead.”
Fraser got up off the bed and went to his father's trunk. He unlocked it, which seemed to take forever to Ray, and brought out a tub. It was the same sort of tub Ray’s mother stored her leftovers in. Fraser walked back over to the bed, opening it up. The smell hit Ray and he screwed up his nose.
“What is that stuff, Benny?” Ray asked, slightly nervous as Fraser scooped some out.
“It’s seal grease.”
”Where did you get seal grease from?
“It so happens that an Inuit friend sent me a jar. It’s quite nutritious.”
“So, why do you want to spread it on my butt?” Ray asked, as Fraser did just that. The stuff was cold.
“It’s also excellent as lubrication. In addition, it has a pleasant taste.”
“I’m not licking it off you.”
“I don’t want you to, Ray.”
Before Ray could think any further Fraser was well into his preparations and Ray’s brain headed south for while. It wasn't until the next morning, when people started commenting on the smell that seemed to follow him everywhere, that Ray really felt sorry for the poor seal.
In which Ray raids his mother’s kitchen cupboard
Although Fraser’s apartment was great for privacy occasionally Ray liked to take full advantage of the space and comfort his own home and bedroom offered. So it was one lazy afternoon that he and Fraser were in bed. Ray had already decided that the image of Fraser lying in his bed was going to be keeping him company on a lot of lonely nights.
“Ray, are you sure about this?” Fraser asked as Ray kissed his way down his torso,
“Everybody’s out, Benny, they won’t be back for hours, we’re fine.”
“Actually, Ray, I was referring to the lack of lubrication.”
Ray looked up. “I have some right there.” He pointed to the table by his bedside.
Fraser picked up the tube Ray was indicating. “The tube appears to be empty, Ray.”
Ray wanted to bury himself in his pillows. “Damn.”
“I’m sure there’s an alternative here somewhere, Ray. Perhaps in the kitchen.”
“The kitchen? Where the sharp objects are? You want us to go down there naked?” Ray didn’t like that idea. He had equipment out in the open.
Fraser was already up and moving. “You did say there was no-one else in the house.”
Ray reluctantly untangled himself from the sheets. “Okay, fine.”
Ray was slower in his trip to the kitchen and when he got there Fraser was already well into his search of the cupboards, pulling out jars and cans before placing them back exactly where he had found them. It was enough to drive Ray crazy.
“What are you looking for?” Ray asked.
“I’ve found it, Ray,” Fraser replied brandishing a bottle of green-yellow liquid.
“Olive oil. You know, there’s a cooking joke I could make here, Benny.”
“It seems appropriate, Ray.”
Ray recognised the look his lover was currently wearing. “We are not doing it in the kitchen.”
“I thought was a tradition.”
“Not yet it isn’t. Look, let’s take the bottle upstairs,” Ray said, taking it from Fraser.
“Won’t your mother mind?”
“She’ll never know, we’ll just be careful how much we use.”
Fraser seemed pleased. “That’s very good thinking, Ray.”
Together they headed back upstairs. In Ray’s opinion olive oil worked better than seal grease. Plus it smelt better. Once the family got some no-one was any the wiser as to what had gone on. Everything was fine. Until his mother asked where her olive oil was and Ray realised they had left it on the bedside table.
In which Ray finds out he’s allergic to Francesca’s skin moisturiser
Following the embarrassment of his mother finding out what one of her most prized ingredients had been used for, Ray thought it appropriate to spend a lot of time at Fraser’s apartment. Where, inevitably, one thing would lead to another and they would find themselves in bed. Like at the present time. Ray was lying back, wondering what his lover was thinking.
“Benny, why are you looking at me like that?”
Fraser licked his lips and Ray suddenly had a pretty good idea why. “I want to make love to you but I’m afraid the only form of lubrication I have is this…”
Fraser reached over to the edge of the bed on which was situated a white bottle was precariously placed in reach. He handed it to Ray.
“Skincare products?”
“Your sister gave it to me.”
“She just gave you a thirty dollar bottle of moisturiser?” Ray was taken aback by the fact that he knew how much it cost. He’d been paying too much attention to Frannie lately.
“She said I needed to make sure my skin didn’t dry out in this harsh climate.”
“Yeah, I bet.” Ray sighed. How could he deny Benny when he was looking like that? He handed him the bottle. “Okay, Benny, just don’t tell my sister this was what you used it for.”
Despite it being a Francesca recommendation it worked surprisingly well. That was until they had both snuggled up to each other and fallen asleep. About five minutes after dropping off, Ray was wide awake. And in pain.
“Are you all right, Ray?” Fraser asked.
Ray was moving around a lot in the small bed, creating mini earthquakes of blanket. “No I’m not. What was in that stuff?”
”What stuff?”
“The moisturiser.”
“Why, Ray?”
“My butt hurts,” Ray said, reaching down to touch it.
“Oh, was I too….?”
“I mean it really hurts! It’s itchy and sore,” Ray explained, scratching as best he could.
“Oh dear.”
“Take a look, Benny.”
Fraser pulled back the blanket and sheet and inspected the damage.
“Ah, you appear to have a rash, Ray.”
“A rash?!”
“Yes. I’ll get some soap and water and clean it off. That might help soothe it,” Fraser said, rushing to the sink.
“Just hurry up!”
Despite Fraser’s tender loving care Ray’s allergic reaction took some time to die. He wasn’t able to sit down for the rest of the week. He ended up pretending he had some sort poison ivy which led to several weeks of humiliation from Huey and Louis.
In which Ray finally has an alternative he can live with
After that mistake, it was some time before either of them brought up the subject of sex. Of course, they still made love, but in other ways, ones which didn’t require the application of skin products. That was until one late night session when Fraser stopped lavishing attention on Ray’s neck and broached the issue
“Ray?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you want to make love the intimate way?” he asked, touching Ray’s cock like he was greeting a long lost friend, even though he’d been intimate with said friend an hour earlier.
Ray smiled. “Sure, Benny.”
“You’re not too sore?”
It had been a month since the skin moisturiser incident. Ray was now in the clear regarding that, though not from the jokes of this colleagues. “I’m fine, Benny, as long as I’m not on the receiving end this time.”
“You want to risk it on your…?” Fraser did the caressing thing again.
Ray nodded. “You do have lube, right?”
“I’m afraid not, Ray.”
Ray braced himself. “Okay, so what are we using this time?”
Fraser smiled confidently and held up a finger. He briefly went to the kitchen and brought out a small tub from one of the cupboards. Ray groaned at the thought of another foodstuff. But at least it wouldn’t make him itchy.
“How about this, Ray?” Fraser handed the tub to Ray.
“Vaseline?”
“It’s supposed to be good for the skin and I’m sure it’s perfectly adequate as a lubricant.”
Ray smiled. This was safe. He knew he wasn’t allergic to it. “Okay, Benny. Just lay back and relax.”
Fraser did as he was told and Ray took great delight and time in preparing them both. As he finally entered Fraser, he had to admit that, despite their lube issues, there was nothing to beat this, moving in and out of an aroused, loving Mountie. Ray leaned down and gave Fraser a kiss. As he began to be caught up in their lovemaking, he made a silent promise to himself. Next time, he would be in charge of the lube.