When it rains...It pours.
My life in a nutshell: Bowl of unending pent up tears
I wonder sometimes if it's me causing all the pain I have to endure lately. I'm told I'm just being to hard on myself; that I should just let it go...should I? Perhaps...Perhaps.
I try to think once in a while lately, on occasion I've even gotten a good idea too, except I never can act on it, either I chicken out or just decide that it's not worth it or something stupid. I have so many things I need to do and want to do, but I never seem to come any closer to doing them or even attempting to. I want to get out of my house, what do I do, I sit, getting further stuck into it every day that I might as well just absorb myself into the carpet and become one with this. My dreams don't even pull me out of misery, for they bring me back to reality when they pass.
Too much bitching, too many friends, not enough companions.
There are few things that would make me feel better now...
A stiff drink to kill the pain
and her.
yet when I have the chance for her to be near and numb the pain, I sometimes dread what will happen. I hate myself for that, I hate my doubts.
But should I hate them, how does she feel on the matter...
ask me how I'm feeling ???
will she.
I wonder sometimes if it's me causing all the pain I have to endure lately. I'm told I'm just being to hard on myself; that I should just let it go...should I? Perhaps...Perhaps.
I try to think once in a while lately, on occasion I've even gotten a good idea too, except I never can act on it, either I chicken out or just decide that it's not worth it or something stupid. I have so many things I need to do and want to do, but I never seem to come any closer to doing them or even attempting to. I want to get out of my house, what do I do, I sit, getting further stuck into it every day that I might as well just absorb myself into the carpet and become one with this. My dreams don't even pull me out of misery, for they bring me back to reality when they pass.
Too much bitching, too many friends, not enough companions.
There are few things that would make me feel better now...
A stiff drink to kill the pain
and her.
yet when I have the chance for her to be near and numb the pain, I sometimes dread what will happen. I hate myself for that, I hate my doubts.
But should I hate them, how does she feel on the matter...
ask me how I'm feeling ???
will she.