reasoning
there are some things bothering me that i simply cannot dismiss and feel ok about
Point #1: Making decisions should be based on strong, sound validity.
This in and of itself isn't what is bothering me- but more of a domino that eventually cascades to cause the other pieces to fall [apart]. Take for instance if you have to decide on whether to pack an extra pair of underwear or a toothbrush for a trip. So what are the trade-offs... If you don't back extra underwear - probably won't harm anything and the pro is that you won't have as much to carry on the trip. but what IF.
What if you happen to shit yourself. Not saying this is something that should occur frequently, but everyone gets diarrhea on occasion and it is something that CAN happen even to the best of us. Wouldn't it be better simply packing the extra underwear and being prepared (which so happens to be something built into an eagle scouts mentality from day one- and therefore makes me feel even more strongly about). Take also the toothbrush. Yes- it saves the space and hassle of packing it, but when do you ever really know when you won't meet up with the right person at what could be the right time...HAD you actually PACKED your toothbrush to feel safe about opening your mouth to talk (without knowing you'll kill them with bad breath). Hey- they are decent analogies- comical, yet - very realistic.
Point #2: Decisions should not be made hastily
This won't take much explanation as it seems to me at least to not only relate to the previous point, but seems fairly straightforward. When you make a decision- especially those effecting not only you, but others, it is best to handle this with the utmost focus and discuss or debate all facets of the issue before a good sound decision can be agreed upon by all involved parties.
Many people don't care enough out there when debating something to feel strongly enough to fight for their cause until they really do understand for themselves if for sure their points hold absolute validity compared to other's views. Take abortion. I may not see abortion as that bad of a thing- but some feel i'm stupid for thinking that way. Now abortion happens to be one issue that isn't readily going to be agreed on one way or the other- but it does show you how passionately thinks CAN and SHOULD be debated to really give the best understanding of things to all parties and set the mood for future diplomacy and treaty- things don't get done unless they are discussed or worked on.
Point #3: Best intentions bring forth worst results
As everyone knows, sometimes giving in and just simply saving trouble of argument makes the situation seem to be better, but actually ends up lulling someone into a false sense of security in the long-run. Take as example if you were arguing a point with your boss - maybe you decide to do something at work against policies - because it was easier, better in your eyes for the customer, and you argue with your boss your view. Yes you have a valid point- we understand that- and your boss does too- HOWEVER, your boss is trying to show you why you are still not valid in everything you did- because it broke company policies and you should have asked first, or should have understood why policies are in place for a thought-about reason. Say you argue and you no longer want to fight- you just want to give in because it makes your boss feel better and you get out of further debating it. Great- must all be good right? WRONG.
See- yes you might have thought your point was valid- and it was in some respects. however your boss's point may have been better if you had heard him out and listened to his strong points in reasoning. This alone would be bad enough, however also, by giving in - you start to really hate that every decision is always won by your boss and you never seem to have say anymore. GOD DON'T YOU JUST HATE THAT! Well - though you meant well- it got you no further toward feeling good about your boss's point of view by NOT debating it further until you understood his way and agreed to it- or until you convinced him by valid, strong backup your case - and pursuaded HIM to understand and agree to your reasoning. Also, now you are pissed and resentful toward the other person and will always be. and to put the frosting on the cake- it compounds!
Point #4: Check your problems at the door, if not at least put them to rest before you do.
Some people will tell you to sleep on it. Well- this is pure horseshit!
Sleeping on a problem is like sleeping on a bed-sore - it only causes the wound the fester.
check it at the door, like a coat, handle it NOW, don't pass the buck. Cause from the points above it only makes things worse. If you can't settle the dispute before the house door, then lay it to rest before you do that night. Sleeping on an argument is the worst thing- worse than sleeping only on the problem that caused the argument.
The moral of the story:
This all has a point, a point I am trying to convey most passionately and sincerely to someone.
To most that aren't among my closest friends these points might not seem valid, or important enough to consider putting stock into even for discussion sake. For those of you who are my good friends, i trust your counsel in the highest regard and if you want to help diffuse my frustrations ask me about the point to all of this post and i'll explain better.
If you happen to be the person i'm attempting to convey this 'point' to, then please try and understand why i feel so passionately about this- and ask me...
because I want and need to have you understand me on all levels.