Fluff Order
Title: Fluff Order
Author: drusemia
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Disclaimer: Not mine. But that doesn't stop them from talking to me.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Yo may want to have some insulin handy cause this is kind of sugary.
Summary: A series of scenes, one taking place after/during each episode.
Spoilers: See the summary above? Spoilers for each episode.
Beta: Major kudos again to avon_09.
Notes: After reading Good Intentions, luthic24 ordered me to write something fluffy. I wrote some crack first and then this is what came.
I. Sexual Harassment in the Workplace: It's Not Just Threats and Coercion (They Always Forget the FUN!)
The day after Jack retconned Gwen Cooper was shaping up to be just like any other relatively ordinary day at Torchwood. Not that there were such things as ordinary days at Torchwood, but that's where the relativity came in.
Jack was sitting in his office doing what he usually did first thing in the morning: making sure his hair was perfect. After all, without perfect hair how can one hope to successful seduce a cute coffee boy? Not that Jack had any real doubts about his ability to succeed there. After all, he was Captain Jack, damnit. Ianto didn't have a chance against Jack's Big Knowledgeable Sexually Gifted City Man meets the Shy Quiet Innocent Naïve But Damn Gorgeous Country Boy. The only problem with Jack's plan was that he was sitting down the first time he saw Ianto each day. That totally prevented him from using his ass to his best advantage. And with as surprisingly difficult as Ianto was being about being seduced, Jack was wondering if he needed to pull out all the stops.
As Jack sat pondering his next move, there was a knock on his door. Without even looking at the door, he called, "Come on in, Ianto. You know all my doors are always open to you." From the door there came a huff and he turned to see Ianto and a stranger entering the office. "Hello. I didn't realize Ianto had someone with him." Jack greeted the stranger, throwing out his best smile.
"Oh. But it's alright to say something like that to an employee if he's alone and there's no one to witness the inappropriate behavior?" The woman said haughtily.
"Excuse me?" Jack was very puzzled. She hadn't even blinked at his smile. That never happened.
"I merely asked you if you think it's alright to harass your employees when they don't have someone with them to stand up for them," she snapped.
"No, of course not." This was not going well at all. "I harass my employees in front of an audience all the time. I usually sell tickets."
The woman didn't even crack a smile. "I see. So you do admit to harassing your employees?"
Time for desperate measures. He whipped out the Captain Jack Big Eyes (patent pending). "Well, ma'am, do I look like someone who would harass my employees?"
She snorted. Success. "I'm sorry, Ianto. I can't do this." She giggled. Or not.
Ianto sighed. "Thanks for trying, Jen. I understand, believe me."
"Well, I don't and that's just not acceptable." Jack said. "When I don't know what's going on, people tend to get spanked. Well, that actually happens fairly often. The spanking thing, not the not understanding. So explain."
"My apologies, sir. Jen is an old friend from Torchwood One. She was in town visiting and I asked her if she would help me play a practical joke on you before she left." Ianto grinned ruefully. "I had misguided hopes she could stand against your charms for longer than 30 seconds."
"Ianto, Ianto. You really should better than that. I am quite charming, after all."
"Yes, sir." Ianto ducked his head. "I should have known better."
"Oh you. This is not my fault. You completely understated his charm," Jen huffed.
"Don't blame him. I am quite indescribable." Jack laughed as she sighed again.
II. What To Do When You Catch Your Boss Watching Lesbian Porn At Work
After Gwen's first case at Torchwood, the office pool on whether she would come back was pretty evenly split. Ianto didn't really care one way or the other except that she pissed Owen off something fierce and that could only be a good thing.
The only thing that concerned him was Jack. Of course, ever since he started at Torchwood 3, Jack seemed to be the only thing he was capable of thinking about for more than 10 minutes at a time. Ianto resolved to puzzle this development out later.
First, however, he needed some answers from Jack. And while the others might not expect much from Ianto, he knew better than to go answer seeking from Jack without appropriate ammo. And since there was no booze on hand and Ianto wasn't willing to sacrifice that part of his tattered virtue, coffee would have to be enough. Or at least, he hoped so.
"Sir, we need to discuss something." Ianto said as he entered Jack's office carrying a mug of industrial strength coffee.
"I couldn't agree more, Ianto. In fact, I think there are several things we should discuss. Positions, perversions, all the fun stuff." Jack smirked.
"Perversions, eh? How about we discuss you watching Gwen down in that holding cell for a good bit before you go to help her?" Ianto said seriously.
"You think I'm the first man to watch lesbian porn at work?"
Of course that's where Jack's mind would go with it. "Sir, that was not lesbian porn-"
"True. Far too many clothes for porn." Jack agreed with a grin.
Ianto sighed and hung his head. "Jack. That was a co-worker under alien influence. And you did nothing."
"And?" Unconcerned, Jack took a sip of his coffee and practically purred.
Momentarily distracted, Ianto paused to drag his mind away from yet more Bad Jack thoughts and continued. "What if the alien had killed Gwen? Does she not matter because she's new?"
"Of course she matters. I just dare any red-blooded man to see to two beautiful women making out full force and not be distracted. Could you?"
God, how could the man say things like that. Had he no sense of propriety? But still he did have a good point. "I suppose not. What if Owen had been down there? Would you have been distracted?"
Jack made a face. "Hardly. Would you?"
"If it ups the chance that he might not make it, I could be." Ianto smiled impishly.
"You keep surprising me Ianto. I never would have guessed you would have it in you to try and play a prank and now you're insulting Owen. It's like you're a whole new man."
"Not quite sir. Still the same old me. Just parts of me you didn't see before." Ianto said smugly, thinking he may have won this round.
"Any other parts you feel like showing me tonight?"
Ianto sighed. He should have known better.
III. Learning to Speak the Language
After the attempted prank and the interrogation over the lesbian porn, Jack found himself beginning to question his initial take on Ianto. Clearly there was more to the Welshman than Jack had suspected. He didn't know why he was surprised. After all, Ianto had been working at Torchwood for a few years now and had survived the battle at Canary Wharf. That alone should have given Jack a clue that there was more going on in that pretty head than met the eye. And while some might have found that daunting, to Jack there was nothing quite so as interesting as a pretty face with a brain behind it. This would require subtle changes to the plan. And it would be more difficult than originally anticipated. But that's alright. The difficult ones were always worth it. And there was no time like the present to begin a difficult campaign.
"So, Ianto, I have a question for you." Just the right amount of playful in the tone and Cheeky Grin 3 to start things off.
"No, sir. I don't want to let you buy me a drink," was the immediate and almost robotic reply.
Jack laughed. "No. Not that question tonight. At least not yet," he said with a flirty wink.
"Sir …" Ianto sighed. "What's your question?"
"Just how horrid is my accent when I use Welsh?" Jack actually was kind of worried about the answer to this.
"Truthfully sir?"
Uh oh. This won't be good. "Truthfully."
"I've heard worse." Ianto said with an encouraging grin.
"That's about what I thought." Damnit. So much for wooing Ianto in his native tongue.
"Owen's worse, sir," said with that same encouraging grin.
"That's not very comforting."
"Sorry, sir," was the remorseless reply.
"No, you're not." Jack gave the other man a pointed look.
"I could help you with your pronunciation." Ianto offered with a smile.
Oh yeah. That will totally work. "Finally. I thought you would never ask. "
"Sir?" came the worried sounding query.
"It'll be fun. I'm very good at being a naughty schoolboy."
IV. Ending Office Romances Is Difficult
"Go home, Ianto."
"I can't sir. There's far too much cleaning left to do."
"Ianto, go home. Get drunk. Go to sleep. Just don't be here for a while."
"I'm needed here."
"We can live without you for a night. You can't honestly want to be here right now."
"Don't tell me what I want. You have no idea what I want."
"I didn't mean to imply that I did. I just meant that after what happened, what I did, I can't imagine that this is the best place for you right now."
"I wouldn't think my feelings would matter to you. They didn't seem to before."
"Ianto, she was a threat to the whole base. I had to protect them."
"I understand that. I do."
"If there was any other way to stop her, I would have used it."
Ianto snorted. "I have no doubt sir. You're all about the flexibility."
V. Good Fairies and Bad Fairies and How to Tell the Difference
"Your coffee, sir."
"Thank you, Ianto," the Captain said without looking up from his paperwork.
"Jack?"
"Yes?"
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. Why?"
"You've spent the last few days chasing after bad fairies. I would have thought that warranted at least one bad joke."
Jack chuckled. "There's so many to choose from. I don't know that I could pick."
"You should make an effort, sir. Don't want to let your innuendo muscles atrophy."
"Well, maybe I can skip it today if I give them a good workout tomorrow."
"I don't know. That could be the beginning of a slippery slope."
"Ianto. Fairies and slippery slopes and muscles atrophying all in the same conversation. I think you're the one giving your innuendo muscle a good workout."
"Sir, would I do that?"
"And now wood. Be careful or you'll make me blush."
VI. If the Cannibals Don't Kill You, the Fresh Air Will
Jack looked up as Ianto placed a piece of paper on the desk. "What's this, Ianto?"
"It's a formal request, sir." Ianto replied.
"Uh huh. You see, I got that from the big letters at the top that say 'Formal Request'. I was just wondering if you wanted to tell me what you were requesting?" Jack let a hint of Flirty Grin 2 show on his face before he continued. "Especially if you need some atypical 'office' supplies. I definitely want to hear those Welsh vowels wrap around those words."
"Sir, it's a request that I be removed from consideration for any further field work." Ianto said with no response to the grin.
Crap. He would want to be serious today. "Ianto, what happened today was a one time thing. Cannibals are hardly standard Torchwood affairs."
"I know that," was the exasperated reply.
"And do you doubt that I would always rescue you?" As if Ianto didn't know how much Jack would risk for the younger man.
"No, sir. I'm quite certain you'll always be happy to be my knight in rusty tractor." Ianto smiled.
"But?"
"That cleaver did come rather close to my neck. And I'm kind of attached to it." Unconsciously Ianto reached up to rub his neck.
"I'm attached to your neck too."
"No, you're not."
"I could be. If you weren't such a tease." Jack pouted.
"Me? You're the flirt." Ianto protested.
"Yes, I'm a flirt. But you my boy are the tease."
"And just how did you come to that interesting conclusion?"
"Take this exact situation here. Right now you have several bruises and other wounds. I could help you heal them."
"How?" Ianto interrupted.
"I have an excess of life energy that I can share with others to help them heal."
"For some reason that sounds like a come on coming from you." Ianto said dryly.
"See? My point exactly. I'm offering to help and you assume I'm hitting on you."
"Sir, I have no doubt that you do want to help. But I also wouldn't put it past you to use helping me to your advantage."
Jack sighed. "You wound me with your cynicism."
"Okay. Fine. I'll let you help me heal. How do you do this?"
"I share some of my energy with you."
"Still sounds like a come on." Ianto sighed. "How do you share your energy?"
"I need to kiss you." Jack said seriously.
Ianto rolled his eyes. "How did I guess it would be something like that?"
"Hey. I said nothing about you being wrong about my ulterior motives. Now pucker up."
VII. Fun and Games With Mind Reading Devices
Jack watched as Ianto brewed another pot of coffee. "Isn't it a little late for that?"
"Do you really think you're going to get any sleep tonight, sir?"
"Finally." Jack crowed.
"That's not what I meant." Ianto sighed, turning to face the other man. "I meant that after what happened with Tosh and Mary-"
"I know what you meant, Ianto. A man can dream though, can't he?"
Ianto chuckled. "Whatever gets you though the day, sir. Just don't tell me all the details."
"Never. I have to keep some things to surprise you with." Jack walked over to get his coffee.
"I think you underestimate just how often you do surprise me."
"And how did I surprise you this time?"
"Letting Tosh destroy that device. I would have thought something like that, with that much potential power would be something we would want to hang on to."
"But what if it fell in the wrong hands? Someone could use that power with devious intent. I mean, I could have used it to find out the perfect way to seduce you." Jack blinked as if that had just occurred to him. "Crap. Why did I let her destroy it?"
Ianto laughed out loud. "Sir, you know damn well if you let some device help you, you would be disappointed in yourself. It's the same with that 'kissed mist'. You would never use it. It would make things too easy."
"I do like a challenge. Although, you've been harder than I was expecting." Jack smirked.
"Sir." Ianto said reprovingly. "You are far too advanced for mere puns and you know it."
"Well, thank you, Ianto. It's nice to be appreciated."
Ianto reached up and placed his hand on Jack's shoulder. "I don't think you have any idea how much I appreciate you, Jack."
Jack blinked in surprise. "Keep talking like that and you're going to make my heart stop with shock."
"Oh, dear. Wouldn't want that sir. Good blood flow to all of your extremities is very important to me."
VIII. How to Make Sure the Boss Gives You a Raise
After 11 minutes, Jack began to worry that something, anything, had happened. Ianto was nothing if not prompt. So either something had happened or Ianto hadn't meant anything with his flirting. Again. Not that Jack would be surprised by that. The number of nights he had spent in solitary pursuits after a conversation with Ianto was depressingly large . But apparently he was doomed to add at least one more to it. Jack sighed and then prepared to do what he always did; let it go for the time being, close down the hub, and crawl into his room to lick his wounds.
As part of his final check of the hub, he scanned the CCTV and saw something that warmed his heart considerably. Ianto was up in the information center, partway through closing it up and chatting with some tourists. Jack almost laughed for joy at the sight of Ianto trying to politely as possible hustle the strangers out the door. Finally they left Ianto was alone. Jack could see the other man sigh with relief before checking his stopwatch. After seeing that far more than 10 minutes had passed, Ianto sighed again. Jack watched puzzled as Ianto finished his duties and retrieved his coat from the closet. Why the hell was he leaving? Only one way to find out. Jack keyed his headset on. "Ianto?"
On the CCTV, Ianto jumped. "Sir?"
"What are you doing?" Stay calm, stay calm.
"I was shutting down the information center for the night, sir."
So much for calm. "And why the hell are you doing that?"
"Well, sir, it is the end of the day."
"Not for you. Get your ass down here. Now."
"Sir?" Ianto said in a puzzled tone.
"Perhaps you didn't here me. I said NOW." Jack grated out.
"On my way." And suiting action to works, Ianto headed down the stairs at a brisk pace, not even stopping to hang his coat up again.
As he waited for Ianto, Jack sat behind his desk and tried to calm himself. It wasn't as if Ianto was obligated to do anything. But if a man shouldn't flirt like that as regularly as Ianto did if he doesn't intend to follow through. Having come to that conclusion, Jack realized that if he said anything like that, he would actually be guilty of the harassment he was always being accused of. There was only one to deal with this. If Ianto was going to try to be a shameless flirt, Jack was going to have to show the young man just why it was dangerous to mess with Captain Jack Harkness.
Thus resolved, Jack prepared his speech. When Ianto entered the office, Jack turned to face the Welshman and felt all his resolve melt away. Ianto looked almost scared. Jack sighed. "Ianto, what am I going to do with you?"
"I don't know what you mean, sir," came the quiet reply.
"If all you interested in is flirting and these odd late night conversations we have, just tell me. Don't set a time and get my hopes up and then disappear on me."
"Sir, it's not my fault I didn't get here in 10 minutes."
"I know. I saw the tourists. I also saw you look at your watch and get your coat. You were going to leave. Don't tell me you weren't."
"I was."
Wow. How the hell could two little words hurt so much? "Thank you for being honest with me on that count."
"May I explain, sir?"
"Don't feel you need to. I understand better than you think." Jack pushed the chair back from the desk and stood. "I should let you go. I'm sure you have better things to do than let your boss harass you."
"Maybe I like my boss harassing me." Ianto said softly.
"Don't, Ianto. Just don't."
"Jack, let me explain."
"Sure. Go ahead. I'm listening." Jack replied, crossing his arms.
"I knew I was running late so I was grabbing my coat to bring down with me." Ianto explained.
"Oh."
Ianto grinned. "If I had known you were going to go all drama queen on me, I would have radioed."
It took a minute for Jack to process the fact that Ianto hadn't been getting ready to leave so his reply was a little slow. "Ianto, when have I ever struck as the type to not go all drama queen?"
"You're right. I should have known better." Ianto laughed.
"Now that is a beautiful sight." At Ianto puzzlement, Jack laughed a little himself. "You. Smiling and laughing. And in my office with no plans to leave?"
"In your office with plans to leave to retrieve food when it is delivered. And possibly to use the toilet. Unless you have one in here?"
"Damn. I knew I was missing something. Very well. You may leave to retrieve food and use the toilet. But don't be surprised if I follow you. I'm not letting you get away."
Ianto placed his coat on the desk and offered Jack his wrists. "If it will make you feel better, I'm sure you have some handcuffs, sir."
"So let me get this straight. I have food coming and a gorgeous man in my office willing to not only stay the night but also to let me handcuff him? I swear it's Christmas early." Jack laughed in delight at Ianto's faint blush. "You offer to let me handcuff you but blush when I call you gorgeous. Tell me, Ianto. Any presents I can give you?"
Ianto appeared to think it over. "Well, I would like a raise from you. Both kinds."
IX. Love and Other Dangers of Life
"Jack?"
"I love it when you do that."
"What?"
"I love it when you say my name."
"Jack." Ianto said, slightly exasperated.
"Yes, Ianto?" Jack replied with a hint of a grin.
"Stop that."
"What?"
"That .. that …that smiling thing. It's completely distracting."
"I bet I can distract you other ways." Jack said with a a lecherous smile.
"I have no doubt."
"Come on Ianto. Let me distract you."
"And how would you go about that sir? A nice cup of tea? A game of checkers?" Ianto asked, sarcasm dripping from each word.
Jack snorted. "Fine. Ask your question. I can see there will be no putting up with you until you get your answer."
"I thought you enjoyed putting up with me." Ianto tried to sound wounded.
"Heh. I do like putting up with you and putting out with you and putting things in you. Putting and you and good words. They go together very well." Jack licked his lips. "Very well."
"Sir." Ianto said in his best professional voice.
"Oh. Stern Ianto. Very nice." At Ianto's exasperated sigh, Jack laughed. "Go on. Ask your question. I'll be good."
Ianto gave a very inelegant snort. "I was just wondering if your interest in the eye was a little more selfishly motivated than you admitted."
"How so?" Jack asked, genuinely puzzled.
"Well, supposedly, it lets someone see their past I know you have said that there are parts of your past you wouldn't mind reliving."
"And you thought I might want to use this eye to revisit some of my so called 'happier times'?"
Ianto nodded. "I know there are times you are … frustrated with us and I thought you might like the chance to go back to times that didn't frustrate you so much."
"Why would I want to revisit my past when I have something so beautiful in my present?"
"What's that, sir?"
Jack sighed. "That's you, Ianto. I can revisit my past all I want by remembering it and sharing it with my lover. That is if he manages to not fall asleep through my droning."
"It was one time. I had been up for 36 hours and you were reading the phonebook."
Jack laughed. "Yes, I was. You failed that test rather miserably."
"Failed? You try it. I'll read the phonebook to you. We'll see how well you fare."
"You're forgetting something, Ianto."
"And what's that?"
"Anytime I hear you talk the urge to sleep is not what strikes me."
"Sir, you're incorrigible."
"That's what you like about me."
"I suppose it must be. It certainly couldn't be your skills in the sack."
"Hey! Keep that up and you're in for a spanking."
"Promises, promises."
X. A Good Source of Protein
As Jack entered the information centre, he came upon Ianto. The younger man seemed to be, for lack of a better word, pouting. "Ianto, is everything alright?"
As soon as he heard his name, Ianto straightened and turned to face Jack, all traces of his pout gone. "Fine, sir. Why do you ask?"
"When I came in you seemed upset. And when my Ianto seems upset, I have to do what I can to fix it." At this Ianto blushed and Jack's expression turned quizzical. "Ianto?"
"Nothing sir." At Jack's pointed stare, Ianto chuckled. "Should have known better than that. Do you really think of me as 'your Ianto'?"
Jack grinned. "Every day. Several times a day depending on how often I can get away."
Ianto's indignant "Jack!" made Jack laugh.
"And don't think you're going to distract me from my question by being all flirty. You looked upset when I came in and I want to know why."
"It's nothing."
"It's not nothing if it upset you."
"It's just silly."
"Ianto."
Ianto sighed. "Alright. I took our guests to the supermarket like you suggested to help get them used to this world. When we got there, the doors opened automatically like they do and I was explaining how they worked. All of a sudden, Diane starts going on about the bananas that were on sale."
"Uh huh."
"It just bothered me that she was more interested in bananas than in learning how the new world around her works."
"Don't knock bananas. As an old friend told me, they're a good source of potassium. And as for Diane. Most people who live in this world couldn't tell you why or how things work. They just know that they do."
"I know that sir. It just … a good source of potassium?"
"Yeah."
"Sir, I can assure you that I have plenty of potassium in my diet."
"Oh me too. I mostly worry about my diet lacking something else."
"At the risk of setting you off, what do you worry about your diet lacking?"
"Protein. And do you know what is an excellent source of protein?"
"Jack!"
"Not what I was thinking but close enough."
XI. More Fun and Games with Fruit
As they got into the SUV, Jack turned to Ianto and said, "Don't ever do that again."
"Sir?"
"You are not to make that face in public again. Or eat grapes."
Ianto laughed. "I'm not allowed to eat grapes in public anymore?"
"No."
"And why not?"
"You almost made me screw up an interrogation with that tongue of yours." Jack harrumphed.
Ianto cleared his throat. "I thought you liked my tongue, sir," he said in his best innocent voice.
"Are you trying to make me crash?"
"Well, sir, if me talking about my tongue is all it takes to set you off, perhaps we should work on your tolerance."
"Huh?"
"We should try various activities that might disrupt your equilibrium and keep at it until you are confident that if I were to do something in public, you wouldn't be distracted."
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you just outlined a plan for you to molest me in public."
Ianto nodded. "Essentially sir. Are you game?"
"Do I look like I'm stupid enough to object to that?"
"I didn't think you were sir but I wanted you to have some warning."
"Warning for what?"
"This."
"Ianto!"
"Problem sir?" Ianto smirked.
"If the SUV has a single dent in it when we get back to Torchwood, you're explaining it."
"Of course sir. It's fairly simple. You American drivers always forget what side of the road to drive on."
"It's not that we forget. It's just that we appreciate both sides of the road equally."
"Of course sir. And we all know you are very open to experimenting with both sides."
XII. Time Travel and Other Romance Hazards
"If you don't need anything else sir, I'll just be heading home." Ianto said softly.
"What? Why are you heading home?"
"You looked like you could use the privacy."
"What makes you say that?"
"You haven't rebuked me once for shooting Owen."
"You did the right thing. I only wish he hadn't managed to open the rift."
"I see." Ianto turned to leave.
Jack sighed. "I didn't mean it like that. It's just we don't know what effect that machine will have on the rift and what price if any there is to pay."
"I know sir." Ianto straightened up and turned to face Jack. "Was there anything else you needed?"
"No. You're right. Go on home." Jack replied looking at his desk.
"Did you want to stay there?"
"Ianto, you really don't want to have this conversation."
"Why not?"
"If I tell you everything, it's going to end up hurting you. And I really don't want to do that."
"I would like to hear what happened. The 1940's would be an amazing time to visit."
Jack laughed softly. "Yeah. It is. Every time I go there, I get my heart broken."
Ianto moved to stand by Jack. "Every time?"
"Well not every time. Just seems like it."
"Who was it this time?"
"Ianto … I would rather not talk about it right now."
"Jack. I don't mind that you found someone to connect with." At Jack's doubting look, Ianto continued. "I know you. Please don't take this the wrong way, but you fall in love very easily."
Jack laughed. "How could I take that wrong?"
"Some people might think that because you love easily, it doesn't hurt when it ends. But it does. I know it does."
"So it doesn't bother you that I found someone back there to care about?" Jack asked, still sounding doubtful.
"Part of me wants to be jealous but at the same time, you came back. You didn't have to. You could have stayed there. But you came back. Whether that was for me or Torchwood or whatever other reason you might have had, you came back. That's all that really matters."
"You were definitely part of the reason. Maybe even a lot of the reason. And if at some point in the future, you want to spend a night making me forget all about him, I won't object."
"I'm not going to do that. Part of me may not like that you met him, but he's a part of what makes you who you are now. And I rather like who you are."
Jack smiled. "I rather like who you are too."
"Perhaps we should start a mutual appreciation society." Ianto mused.
"Only if get to be president."
"You're already a captain. Do you really need to be president too?"
"Well, it's not like you can be president. You're the president's sexy coffee boy."
Ianto sighed. "Yes sir. But are you sure you want to president? Wouldn't you rather be queen?"
XIII. Secrets Revealed
"So you're not dead." Ianto said as he entered Jack's office.
"Not anymore anyway."
"That whole excess of life energy thing you mentioned a while back?"
"Yeah. Pretty much."
"Huh. Hell of a secret. I think that might even top mine."
"What secret do you have?" Jack asked sounding a little worried.
"Lisa."
"Oh. That one. Yeah. I might have you beat there."
"Yes, I think you do. Any other secrets you want to tell me?"
"Nah. I'm good. How about you? Any more surprises left in you?"
"I would like to think I have a few left sir."
"You know, I did just kiss you in front of all of our co-workers. You could probably call me Jack a little more often without giving it away."
"Yes Jack." Ianto laughed shakily.
"Ianto, is everything alright?"
"No. You were dead."
"I'm not anymore." Jack said calmly.
"But that's not how it normally works. I thought I had lost you. And it was our own fault."
"You didn't know opening the rift would free that thing."
"No. But Owen damn well knew what shooting you would do."
"And I forgave him for that. You should too."
"I don't blame him. He was just doing what all of thought we wanted. I betrayed you as much as he did. And with less to gain. He at least thought he was getting Diane back. What did I think? Some apparition of Lisa appears and tells me people will die if we don't open the rift and I immediately decide to believe it over you. That makes me some special kind of stupid."
Jack smiled. "Can I talk now?"
"Yes. I think I'm done talking. I know I'm done here."
"What do you mean you know you're done here?"
"I just told you I did what I did for Lisa. I don't expect you to forgive me for that."
"Ianto, you were trying to save people. Even when you brought Lisa here, you were trying to save her. It was a bad idea and it didn't go very well, but you had the best intentions."
"You know what they say about intentions."
"Yes, I do. And that is why once I'm up to it; I plan on keeping you far too exhausted to have intentions of any kind. Except towards me."
"Jack." Ianto laughed.
"Ianto, Owen did what he did to try and get Diane back. However he wants to pretty it up, that's what his reason was. And it's a selfish reason. He wanted her back for himself. You just wanted to stop people from dying. That's far nobler in my book. Besides, I can't yell at you for wanting to save the world. I died trying to. Yelling at you would be pretty hypocritical."
"Oh no. You died to save the world. You're never going to stop bragging are you?"
"Ianto, I'm Captain Jack Harkness. Of course not. That's why you love me."
Ianto shook his head and sighed. "Yes, Jack, I suppose that is why I love you."
Jack grinned and pulled Ianto into a hug. "And you always know when to agree with me. That's why I love you."
Author: drusemia
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Disclaimer: Not mine. But that doesn't stop them from talking to me.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Yo may want to have some insulin handy cause this is kind of sugary.
Summary: A series of scenes, one taking place after/during each episode.
Spoilers: See the summary above? Spoilers for each episode.
Beta: Major kudos again to avon_09.
Notes: After reading Good Intentions, luthic24 ordered me to write something fluffy. I wrote some crack first and then this is what came.
I. Sexual Harassment in the Workplace: It's Not Just Threats and Coercion (They Always Forget the FUN!)
The day after Jack retconned Gwen Cooper was shaping up to be just like any other relatively ordinary day at Torchwood. Not that there were such things as ordinary days at Torchwood, but that's where the relativity came in.
Jack was sitting in his office doing what he usually did first thing in the morning: making sure his hair was perfect. After all, without perfect hair how can one hope to successful seduce a cute coffee boy? Not that Jack had any real doubts about his ability to succeed there. After all, he was Captain Jack, damnit. Ianto didn't have a chance against Jack's Big Knowledgeable Sexually Gifted City Man meets the Shy Quiet Innocent Naïve But Damn Gorgeous Country Boy. The only problem with Jack's plan was that he was sitting down the first time he saw Ianto each day. That totally prevented him from using his ass to his best advantage. And with as surprisingly difficult as Ianto was being about being seduced, Jack was wondering if he needed to pull out all the stops.
As Jack sat pondering his next move, there was a knock on his door. Without even looking at the door, he called, "Come on in, Ianto. You know all my doors are always open to you." From the door there came a huff and he turned to see Ianto and a stranger entering the office. "Hello. I didn't realize Ianto had someone with him." Jack greeted the stranger, throwing out his best smile.
"Oh. But it's alright to say something like that to an employee if he's alone and there's no one to witness the inappropriate behavior?" The woman said haughtily.
"Excuse me?" Jack was very puzzled. She hadn't even blinked at his smile. That never happened.
"I merely asked you if you think it's alright to harass your employees when they don't have someone with them to stand up for them," she snapped.
"No, of course not." This was not going well at all. "I harass my employees in front of an audience all the time. I usually sell tickets."
The woman didn't even crack a smile. "I see. So you do admit to harassing your employees?"
Time for desperate measures. He whipped out the Captain Jack Big Eyes (patent pending). "Well, ma'am, do I look like someone who would harass my employees?"
She snorted. Success. "I'm sorry, Ianto. I can't do this." She giggled. Or not.
Ianto sighed. "Thanks for trying, Jen. I understand, believe me."
"Well, I don't and that's just not acceptable." Jack said. "When I don't know what's going on, people tend to get spanked. Well, that actually happens fairly often. The spanking thing, not the not understanding. So explain."
"My apologies, sir. Jen is an old friend from Torchwood One. She was in town visiting and I asked her if she would help me play a practical joke on you before she left." Ianto grinned ruefully. "I had misguided hopes she could stand against your charms for longer than 30 seconds."
"Ianto, Ianto. You really should better than that. I am quite charming, after all."
"Yes, sir." Ianto ducked his head. "I should have known better."
"Oh you. This is not my fault. You completely understated his charm," Jen huffed.
"Don't blame him. I am quite indescribable." Jack laughed as she sighed again.
II. What To Do When You Catch Your Boss Watching Lesbian Porn At Work
After Gwen's first case at Torchwood, the office pool on whether she would come back was pretty evenly split. Ianto didn't really care one way or the other except that she pissed Owen off something fierce and that could only be a good thing.
The only thing that concerned him was Jack. Of course, ever since he started at Torchwood 3, Jack seemed to be the only thing he was capable of thinking about for more than 10 minutes at a time. Ianto resolved to puzzle this development out later.
First, however, he needed some answers from Jack. And while the others might not expect much from Ianto, he knew better than to go answer seeking from Jack without appropriate ammo. And since there was no booze on hand and Ianto wasn't willing to sacrifice that part of his tattered virtue, coffee would have to be enough. Or at least, he hoped so.
"Sir, we need to discuss something." Ianto said as he entered Jack's office carrying a mug of industrial strength coffee.
"I couldn't agree more, Ianto. In fact, I think there are several things we should discuss. Positions, perversions, all the fun stuff." Jack smirked.
"Perversions, eh? How about we discuss you watching Gwen down in that holding cell for a good bit before you go to help her?" Ianto said seriously.
"You think I'm the first man to watch lesbian porn at work?"
Of course that's where Jack's mind would go with it. "Sir, that was not lesbian porn-"
"True. Far too many clothes for porn." Jack agreed with a grin.
Ianto sighed and hung his head. "Jack. That was a co-worker under alien influence. And you did nothing."
"And?" Unconcerned, Jack took a sip of his coffee and practically purred.
Momentarily distracted, Ianto paused to drag his mind away from yet more Bad Jack thoughts and continued. "What if the alien had killed Gwen? Does she not matter because she's new?"
"Of course she matters. I just dare any red-blooded man to see to two beautiful women making out full force and not be distracted. Could you?"
God, how could the man say things like that. Had he no sense of propriety? But still he did have a good point. "I suppose not. What if Owen had been down there? Would you have been distracted?"
Jack made a face. "Hardly. Would you?"
"If it ups the chance that he might not make it, I could be." Ianto smiled impishly.
"You keep surprising me Ianto. I never would have guessed you would have it in you to try and play a prank and now you're insulting Owen. It's like you're a whole new man."
"Not quite sir. Still the same old me. Just parts of me you didn't see before." Ianto said smugly, thinking he may have won this round.
"Any other parts you feel like showing me tonight?"
Ianto sighed. He should have known better.
III. Learning to Speak the Language
After the attempted prank and the interrogation over the lesbian porn, Jack found himself beginning to question his initial take on Ianto. Clearly there was more to the Welshman than Jack had suspected. He didn't know why he was surprised. After all, Ianto had been working at Torchwood for a few years now and had survived the battle at Canary Wharf. That alone should have given Jack a clue that there was more going on in that pretty head than met the eye. And while some might have found that daunting, to Jack there was nothing quite so as interesting as a pretty face with a brain behind it. This would require subtle changes to the plan. And it would be more difficult than originally anticipated. But that's alright. The difficult ones were always worth it. And there was no time like the present to begin a difficult campaign.
"So, Ianto, I have a question for you." Just the right amount of playful in the tone and Cheeky Grin 3 to start things off.
"No, sir. I don't want to let you buy me a drink," was the immediate and almost robotic reply.
Jack laughed. "No. Not that question tonight. At least not yet," he said with a flirty wink.
"Sir …" Ianto sighed. "What's your question?"
"Just how horrid is my accent when I use Welsh?" Jack actually was kind of worried about the answer to this.
"Truthfully sir?"
Uh oh. This won't be good. "Truthfully."
"I've heard worse." Ianto said with an encouraging grin.
"That's about what I thought." Damnit. So much for wooing Ianto in his native tongue.
"Owen's worse, sir," said with that same encouraging grin.
"That's not very comforting."
"Sorry, sir," was the remorseless reply.
"No, you're not." Jack gave the other man a pointed look.
"I could help you with your pronunciation." Ianto offered with a smile.
Oh yeah. That will totally work. "Finally. I thought you would never ask. "
"Sir?" came the worried sounding query.
"It'll be fun. I'm very good at being a naughty schoolboy."
IV. Ending Office Romances Is Difficult
"Go home, Ianto."
"I can't sir. There's far too much cleaning left to do."
"Ianto, go home. Get drunk. Go to sleep. Just don't be here for a while."
"I'm needed here."
"We can live without you for a night. You can't honestly want to be here right now."
"Don't tell me what I want. You have no idea what I want."
"I didn't mean to imply that I did. I just meant that after what happened, what I did, I can't imagine that this is the best place for you right now."
"I wouldn't think my feelings would matter to you. They didn't seem to before."
"Ianto, she was a threat to the whole base. I had to protect them."
"I understand that. I do."
"If there was any other way to stop her, I would have used it."
Ianto snorted. "I have no doubt sir. You're all about the flexibility."
V. Good Fairies and Bad Fairies and How to Tell the Difference
"Your coffee, sir."
"Thank you, Ianto," the Captain said without looking up from his paperwork.
"Jack?"
"Yes?"
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. Why?"
"You've spent the last few days chasing after bad fairies. I would have thought that warranted at least one bad joke."
Jack chuckled. "There's so many to choose from. I don't know that I could pick."
"You should make an effort, sir. Don't want to let your innuendo muscles atrophy."
"Well, maybe I can skip it today if I give them a good workout tomorrow."
"I don't know. That could be the beginning of a slippery slope."
"Ianto. Fairies and slippery slopes and muscles atrophying all in the same conversation. I think you're the one giving your innuendo muscle a good workout."
"Sir, would I do that?"
"And now wood. Be careful or you'll make me blush."
VI. If the Cannibals Don't Kill You, the Fresh Air Will
Jack looked up as Ianto placed a piece of paper on the desk. "What's this, Ianto?"
"It's a formal request, sir." Ianto replied.
"Uh huh. You see, I got that from the big letters at the top that say 'Formal Request'. I was just wondering if you wanted to tell me what you were requesting?" Jack let a hint of Flirty Grin 2 show on his face before he continued. "Especially if you need some atypical 'office' supplies. I definitely want to hear those Welsh vowels wrap around those words."
"Sir, it's a request that I be removed from consideration for any further field work." Ianto said with no response to the grin.
Crap. He would want to be serious today. "Ianto, what happened today was a one time thing. Cannibals are hardly standard Torchwood affairs."
"I know that," was the exasperated reply.
"And do you doubt that I would always rescue you?" As if Ianto didn't know how much Jack would risk for the younger man.
"No, sir. I'm quite certain you'll always be happy to be my knight in rusty tractor." Ianto smiled.
"But?"
"That cleaver did come rather close to my neck. And I'm kind of attached to it." Unconsciously Ianto reached up to rub his neck.
"I'm attached to your neck too."
"No, you're not."
"I could be. If you weren't such a tease." Jack pouted.
"Me? You're the flirt." Ianto protested.
"Yes, I'm a flirt. But you my boy are the tease."
"And just how did you come to that interesting conclusion?"
"Take this exact situation here. Right now you have several bruises and other wounds. I could help you heal them."
"How?" Ianto interrupted.
"I have an excess of life energy that I can share with others to help them heal."
"For some reason that sounds like a come on coming from you." Ianto said dryly.
"See? My point exactly. I'm offering to help and you assume I'm hitting on you."
"Sir, I have no doubt that you do want to help. But I also wouldn't put it past you to use helping me to your advantage."
Jack sighed. "You wound me with your cynicism."
"Okay. Fine. I'll let you help me heal. How do you do this?"
"I share some of my energy with you."
"Still sounds like a come on." Ianto sighed. "How do you share your energy?"
"I need to kiss you." Jack said seriously.
Ianto rolled his eyes. "How did I guess it would be something like that?"
"Hey. I said nothing about you being wrong about my ulterior motives. Now pucker up."
VII. Fun and Games With Mind Reading Devices
Jack watched as Ianto brewed another pot of coffee. "Isn't it a little late for that?"
"Do you really think you're going to get any sleep tonight, sir?"
"Finally." Jack crowed.
"That's not what I meant." Ianto sighed, turning to face the other man. "I meant that after what happened with Tosh and Mary-"
"I know what you meant, Ianto. A man can dream though, can't he?"
Ianto chuckled. "Whatever gets you though the day, sir. Just don't tell me all the details."
"Never. I have to keep some things to surprise you with." Jack walked over to get his coffee.
"I think you underestimate just how often you do surprise me."
"And how did I surprise you this time?"
"Letting Tosh destroy that device. I would have thought something like that, with that much potential power would be something we would want to hang on to."
"But what if it fell in the wrong hands? Someone could use that power with devious intent. I mean, I could have used it to find out the perfect way to seduce you." Jack blinked as if that had just occurred to him. "Crap. Why did I let her destroy it?"
Ianto laughed out loud. "Sir, you know damn well if you let some device help you, you would be disappointed in yourself. It's the same with that 'kissed mist'. You would never use it. It would make things too easy."
"I do like a challenge. Although, you've been harder than I was expecting." Jack smirked.
"Sir." Ianto said reprovingly. "You are far too advanced for mere puns and you know it."
"Well, thank you, Ianto. It's nice to be appreciated."
Ianto reached up and placed his hand on Jack's shoulder. "I don't think you have any idea how much I appreciate you, Jack."
Jack blinked in surprise. "Keep talking like that and you're going to make my heart stop with shock."
"Oh, dear. Wouldn't want that sir. Good blood flow to all of your extremities is very important to me."
VIII. How to Make Sure the Boss Gives You a Raise
After 11 minutes, Jack began to worry that something, anything, had happened. Ianto was nothing if not prompt. So either something had happened or Ianto hadn't meant anything with his flirting. Again. Not that Jack would be surprised by that. The number of nights he had spent in solitary pursuits after a conversation with Ianto was depressingly large . But apparently he was doomed to add at least one more to it. Jack sighed and then prepared to do what he always did; let it go for the time being, close down the hub, and crawl into his room to lick his wounds.
As part of his final check of the hub, he scanned the CCTV and saw something that warmed his heart considerably. Ianto was up in the information center, partway through closing it up and chatting with some tourists. Jack almost laughed for joy at the sight of Ianto trying to politely as possible hustle the strangers out the door. Finally they left Ianto was alone. Jack could see the other man sigh with relief before checking his stopwatch. After seeing that far more than 10 minutes had passed, Ianto sighed again. Jack watched puzzled as Ianto finished his duties and retrieved his coat from the closet. Why the hell was he leaving? Only one way to find out. Jack keyed his headset on. "Ianto?"
On the CCTV, Ianto jumped. "Sir?"
"What are you doing?" Stay calm, stay calm.
"I was shutting down the information center for the night, sir."
So much for calm. "And why the hell are you doing that?"
"Well, sir, it is the end of the day."
"Not for you. Get your ass down here. Now."
"Sir?" Ianto said in a puzzled tone.
"Perhaps you didn't here me. I said NOW." Jack grated out.
"On my way." And suiting action to works, Ianto headed down the stairs at a brisk pace, not even stopping to hang his coat up again.
As he waited for Ianto, Jack sat behind his desk and tried to calm himself. It wasn't as if Ianto was obligated to do anything. But if a man shouldn't flirt like that as regularly as Ianto did if he doesn't intend to follow through. Having come to that conclusion, Jack realized that if he said anything like that, he would actually be guilty of the harassment he was always being accused of. There was only one to deal with this. If Ianto was going to try to be a shameless flirt, Jack was going to have to show the young man just why it was dangerous to mess with Captain Jack Harkness.
Thus resolved, Jack prepared his speech. When Ianto entered the office, Jack turned to face the Welshman and felt all his resolve melt away. Ianto looked almost scared. Jack sighed. "Ianto, what am I going to do with you?"
"I don't know what you mean, sir," came the quiet reply.
"If all you interested in is flirting and these odd late night conversations we have, just tell me. Don't set a time and get my hopes up and then disappear on me."
"Sir, it's not my fault I didn't get here in 10 minutes."
"I know. I saw the tourists. I also saw you look at your watch and get your coat. You were going to leave. Don't tell me you weren't."
"I was."
Wow. How the hell could two little words hurt so much? "Thank you for being honest with me on that count."
"May I explain, sir?"
"Don't feel you need to. I understand better than you think." Jack pushed the chair back from the desk and stood. "I should let you go. I'm sure you have better things to do than let your boss harass you."
"Maybe I like my boss harassing me." Ianto said softly.
"Don't, Ianto. Just don't."
"Jack, let me explain."
"Sure. Go ahead. I'm listening." Jack replied, crossing his arms.
"I knew I was running late so I was grabbing my coat to bring down with me." Ianto explained.
"Oh."
Ianto grinned. "If I had known you were going to go all drama queen on me, I would have radioed."
It took a minute for Jack to process the fact that Ianto hadn't been getting ready to leave so his reply was a little slow. "Ianto, when have I ever struck as the type to not go all drama queen?"
"You're right. I should have known better." Ianto laughed.
"Now that is a beautiful sight." At Ianto puzzlement, Jack laughed a little himself. "You. Smiling and laughing. And in my office with no plans to leave?"
"In your office with plans to leave to retrieve food when it is delivered. And possibly to use the toilet. Unless you have one in here?"
"Damn. I knew I was missing something. Very well. You may leave to retrieve food and use the toilet. But don't be surprised if I follow you. I'm not letting you get away."
Ianto placed his coat on the desk and offered Jack his wrists. "If it will make you feel better, I'm sure you have some handcuffs, sir."
"So let me get this straight. I have food coming and a gorgeous man in my office willing to not only stay the night but also to let me handcuff him? I swear it's Christmas early." Jack laughed in delight at Ianto's faint blush. "You offer to let me handcuff you but blush when I call you gorgeous. Tell me, Ianto. Any presents I can give you?"
Ianto appeared to think it over. "Well, I would like a raise from you. Both kinds."
IX. Love and Other Dangers of Life
"Jack?"
"I love it when you do that."
"What?"
"I love it when you say my name."
"Jack." Ianto said, slightly exasperated.
"Yes, Ianto?" Jack replied with a hint of a grin.
"Stop that."
"What?"
"That .. that …that smiling thing. It's completely distracting."
"I bet I can distract you other ways." Jack said with a a lecherous smile.
"I have no doubt."
"Come on Ianto. Let me distract you."
"And how would you go about that sir? A nice cup of tea? A game of checkers?" Ianto asked, sarcasm dripping from each word.
Jack snorted. "Fine. Ask your question. I can see there will be no putting up with you until you get your answer."
"I thought you enjoyed putting up with me." Ianto tried to sound wounded.
"Heh. I do like putting up with you and putting out with you and putting things in you. Putting and you and good words. They go together very well." Jack licked his lips. "Very well."
"Sir." Ianto said in his best professional voice.
"Oh. Stern Ianto. Very nice." At Ianto's exasperated sigh, Jack laughed. "Go on. Ask your question. I'll be good."
Ianto gave a very inelegant snort. "I was just wondering if your interest in the eye was a little more selfishly motivated than you admitted."
"How so?" Jack asked, genuinely puzzled.
"Well, supposedly, it lets someone see their past I know you have said that there are parts of your past you wouldn't mind reliving."
"And you thought I might want to use this eye to revisit some of my so called 'happier times'?"
Ianto nodded. "I know there are times you are … frustrated with us and I thought you might like the chance to go back to times that didn't frustrate you so much."
"Why would I want to revisit my past when I have something so beautiful in my present?"
"What's that, sir?"
Jack sighed. "That's you, Ianto. I can revisit my past all I want by remembering it and sharing it with my lover. That is if he manages to not fall asleep through my droning."
"It was one time. I had been up for 36 hours and you were reading the phonebook."
Jack laughed. "Yes, I was. You failed that test rather miserably."
"Failed? You try it. I'll read the phonebook to you. We'll see how well you fare."
"You're forgetting something, Ianto."
"And what's that?"
"Anytime I hear you talk the urge to sleep is not what strikes me."
"Sir, you're incorrigible."
"That's what you like about me."
"I suppose it must be. It certainly couldn't be your skills in the sack."
"Hey! Keep that up and you're in for a spanking."
"Promises, promises."
X. A Good Source of Protein
As Jack entered the information centre, he came upon Ianto. The younger man seemed to be, for lack of a better word, pouting. "Ianto, is everything alright?"
As soon as he heard his name, Ianto straightened and turned to face Jack, all traces of his pout gone. "Fine, sir. Why do you ask?"
"When I came in you seemed upset. And when my Ianto seems upset, I have to do what I can to fix it." At this Ianto blushed and Jack's expression turned quizzical. "Ianto?"
"Nothing sir." At Jack's pointed stare, Ianto chuckled. "Should have known better than that. Do you really think of me as 'your Ianto'?"
Jack grinned. "Every day. Several times a day depending on how often I can get away."
Ianto's indignant "Jack!" made Jack laugh.
"And don't think you're going to distract me from my question by being all flirty. You looked upset when I came in and I want to know why."
"It's nothing."
"It's not nothing if it upset you."
"It's just silly."
"Ianto."
Ianto sighed. "Alright. I took our guests to the supermarket like you suggested to help get them used to this world. When we got there, the doors opened automatically like they do and I was explaining how they worked. All of a sudden, Diane starts going on about the bananas that were on sale."
"Uh huh."
"It just bothered me that she was more interested in bananas than in learning how the new world around her works."
"Don't knock bananas. As an old friend told me, they're a good source of potassium. And as for Diane. Most people who live in this world couldn't tell you why or how things work. They just know that they do."
"I know that sir. It just … a good source of potassium?"
"Yeah."
"Sir, I can assure you that I have plenty of potassium in my diet."
"Oh me too. I mostly worry about my diet lacking something else."
"At the risk of setting you off, what do you worry about your diet lacking?"
"Protein. And do you know what is an excellent source of protein?"
"Jack!"
"Not what I was thinking but close enough."
XI. More Fun and Games with Fruit
As they got into the SUV, Jack turned to Ianto and said, "Don't ever do that again."
"Sir?"
"You are not to make that face in public again. Or eat grapes."
Ianto laughed. "I'm not allowed to eat grapes in public anymore?"
"No."
"And why not?"
"You almost made me screw up an interrogation with that tongue of yours." Jack harrumphed.
Ianto cleared his throat. "I thought you liked my tongue, sir," he said in his best innocent voice.
"Are you trying to make me crash?"
"Well, sir, if me talking about my tongue is all it takes to set you off, perhaps we should work on your tolerance."
"Huh?"
"We should try various activities that might disrupt your equilibrium and keep at it until you are confident that if I were to do something in public, you wouldn't be distracted."
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you just outlined a plan for you to molest me in public."
Ianto nodded. "Essentially sir. Are you game?"
"Do I look like I'm stupid enough to object to that?"
"I didn't think you were sir but I wanted you to have some warning."
"Warning for what?"
"This."
"Ianto!"
"Problem sir?" Ianto smirked.
"If the SUV has a single dent in it when we get back to Torchwood, you're explaining it."
"Of course sir. It's fairly simple. You American drivers always forget what side of the road to drive on."
"It's not that we forget. It's just that we appreciate both sides of the road equally."
"Of course sir. And we all know you are very open to experimenting with both sides."
XII. Time Travel and Other Romance Hazards
"If you don't need anything else sir, I'll just be heading home." Ianto said softly.
"What? Why are you heading home?"
"You looked like you could use the privacy."
"What makes you say that?"
"You haven't rebuked me once for shooting Owen."
"You did the right thing. I only wish he hadn't managed to open the rift."
"I see." Ianto turned to leave.
Jack sighed. "I didn't mean it like that. It's just we don't know what effect that machine will have on the rift and what price if any there is to pay."
"I know sir." Ianto straightened up and turned to face Jack. "Was there anything else you needed?"
"No. You're right. Go on home." Jack replied looking at his desk.
"Did you want to stay there?"
"Ianto, you really don't want to have this conversation."
"Why not?"
"If I tell you everything, it's going to end up hurting you. And I really don't want to do that."
"I would like to hear what happened. The 1940's would be an amazing time to visit."
Jack laughed softly. "Yeah. It is. Every time I go there, I get my heart broken."
Ianto moved to stand by Jack. "Every time?"
"Well not every time. Just seems like it."
"Who was it this time?"
"Ianto … I would rather not talk about it right now."
"Jack. I don't mind that you found someone to connect with." At Jack's doubting look, Ianto continued. "I know you. Please don't take this the wrong way, but you fall in love very easily."
Jack laughed. "How could I take that wrong?"
"Some people might think that because you love easily, it doesn't hurt when it ends. But it does. I know it does."
"So it doesn't bother you that I found someone back there to care about?" Jack asked, still sounding doubtful.
"Part of me wants to be jealous but at the same time, you came back. You didn't have to. You could have stayed there. But you came back. Whether that was for me or Torchwood or whatever other reason you might have had, you came back. That's all that really matters."
"You were definitely part of the reason. Maybe even a lot of the reason. And if at some point in the future, you want to spend a night making me forget all about him, I won't object."
"I'm not going to do that. Part of me may not like that you met him, but he's a part of what makes you who you are now. And I rather like who you are."
Jack smiled. "I rather like who you are too."
"Perhaps we should start a mutual appreciation society." Ianto mused.
"Only if get to be president."
"You're already a captain. Do you really need to be president too?"
"Well, it's not like you can be president. You're the president's sexy coffee boy."
Ianto sighed. "Yes sir. But are you sure you want to president? Wouldn't you rather be queen?"
XIII. Secrets Revealed
"So you're not dead." Ianto said as he entered Jack's office.
"Not anymore anyway."
"That whole excess of life energy thing you mentioned a while back?"
"Yeah. Pretty much."
"Huh. Hell of a secret. I think that might even top mine."
"What secret do you have?" Jack asked sounding a little worried.
"Lisa."
"Oh. That one. Yeah. I might have you beat there."
"Yes, I think you do. Any other secrets you want to tell me?"
"Nah. I'm good. How about you? Any more surprises left in you?"
"I would like to think I have a few left sir."
"You know, I did just kiss you in front of all of our co-workers. You could probably call me Jack a little more often without giving it away."
"Yes Jack." Ianto laughed shakily.
"Ianto, is everything alright?"
"No. You were dead."
"I'm not anymore." Jack said calmly.
"But that's not how it normally works. I thought I had lost you. And it was our own fault."
"You didn't know opening the rift would free that thing."
"No. But Owen damn well knew what shooting you would do."
"And I forgave him for that. You should too."
"I don't blame him. He was just doing what all of thought we wanted. I betrayed you as much as he did. And with less to gain. He at least thought he was getting Diane back. What did I think? Some apparition of Lisa appears and tells me people will die if we don't open the rift and I immediately decide to believe it over you. That makes me some special kind of stupid."
Jack smiled. "Can I talk now?"
"Yes. I think I'm done talking. I know I'm done here."
"What do you mean you know you're done here?"
"I just told you I did what I did for Lisa. I don't expect you to forgive me for that."
"Ianto, you were trying to save people. Even when you brought Lisa here, you were trying to save her. It was a bad idea and it didn't go very well, but you had the best intentions."
"You know what they say about intentions."
"Yes, I do. And that is why once I'm up to it; I plan on keeping you far too exhausted to have intentions of any kind. Except towards me."
"Jack." Ianto laughed.
"Ianto, Owen did what he did to try and get Diane back. However he wants to pretty it up, that's what his reason was. And it's a selfish reason. He wanted her back for himself. You just wanted to stop people from dying. That's far nobler in my book. Besides, I can't yell at you for wanting to save the world. I died trying to. Yelling at you would be pretty hypocritical."
"Oh no. You died to save the world. You're never going to stop bragging are you?"
"Ianto, I'm Captain Jack Harkness. Of course not. That's why you love me."
Ianto shook his head and sighed. "Yes, Jack, I suppose that is why I love you."
Jack grinned and pulled Ianto into a hug. "And you always know when to agree with me. That's why I love you."