but don't, don't forget it's your right to do whatever you like
i've been sort of walking on clouds since the woman who took my driving test on tuesday afternoon said 'good news, you've passed,' and held out her hand to me. i still don't feel like i fully realise, but there are moments where i remember and it'll just flick up the corners of my mouth. this morning i danced in the shower, and i can't stop telling people. it feels like my birthday, but better. almost. or just different.
so that's one thing. the other is that i've found a place where i can do the second part of my internship. it was getting close and i was getting seriously worried, but it seems like it'll all be working out. so in a week or so i'm going to be staff on a camp for young people between the ages of 12 and 30, that are hard of hearing. i was a little apprehensive, but that's melting away and i'm starting to get excited about it all. this seems like a really fun thing, something i'd do even if i didn't need to for uni.
meanwhile i'm typing my little fingers off to finish all the reports and essays i need to in time. ..or, in all honesty, that's what i should be doing, i haven't done as much as i could have. by far. but i'm getting into it.
lastly, i'm super pleased to report that i've been enjoying life. not just because of the peaks in my current situation, but just taking moments and actively appreciating both being alive and enjoying it. it's been beautiful. like this i can live in stress and nerves and fear while still enjoying it. part of it is change in attitude, if only on the inside. i went from stepping back to stepping forward. or at least standing still. from making myself smaller and hiding and being fearful, like a little mouse, afraid to take a step in case it's the wrong one, to purposefully walking. actively doing things, taking care of things. leaning forward instead of back.
it's not a big step, and it may not show much, but it's a step.
so that's one thing. the other is that i've found a place where i can do the second part of my internship. it was getting close and i was getting seriously worried, but it seems like it'll all be working out. so in a week or so i'm going to be staff on a camp for young people between the ages of 12 and 30, that are hard of hearing. i was a little apprehensive, but that's melting away and i'm starting to get excited about it all. this seems like a really fun thing, something i'd do even if i didn't need to for uni.
meanwhile i'm typing my little fingers off to finish all the reports and essays i need to in time. ..or, in all honesty, that's what i should be doing, i haven't done as much as i could have. by far. but i'm getting into it.
lastly, i'm super pleased to report that i've been enjoying life. not just because of the peaks in my current situation, but just taking moments and actively appreciating both being alive and enjoying it. it's been beautiful. like this i can live in stress and nerves and fear while still enjoying it. part of it is change in attitude, if only on the inside. i went from stepping back to stepping forward. or at least standing still. from making myself smaller and hiding and being fearful, like a little mouse, afraid to take a step in case it's the wrong one, to purposefully walking. actively doing things, taking care of things. leaning forward instead of back.
it's not a big step, and it may not show much, but it's a step.