Feeling SAD
I hate winter, I hate it more when it's overcast and rainy (or worse). I know I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, that was painfully clear when I lived in MI, but it shows up here occasionally. Luckily, we have sun more often here.
I need to get out of the house, I need to do something, but I can't make myself move. Sunday I felt halfway decent but just needed to chill and have some alone time after all the stress last week. So I stayed home while Paul went to play some pool. I actually got a little work done.
Monday I felt like crap, just totally worn down and hurting so bad. I had plans for lunch but had to cancel them. Then yesterday it was rainy and yucky and I still felt crappy so I cancelled more plans. Today I was suppose to go to Nashville for my recheck at the Ortho but I knew it was supposed to storm so I just went ahead and rescheduled it (again). Now that the braces are off and it's just to recheck the permanent retainer wires, I'm not in a big hurry to get up there.
I was getting a bit bored last night. Tired of feeling like crap and doing nothing. I was hoping I'd wake up feeling like getting out today regardless of the weather, but that didn't happen. Around bedtime last night my throat started hurting, it still hurts. So, needless to say I woke up feeling crappy this morning, in a whole new way.
The mice are back. I need to call the bug guy to come put out some more bait in the "attic" area. They get up in there between the floors of the house (between the ceiling and the upstairs floor that is) and there's only one access point for humans that remotely gets near that area (above the garage).
I've been reading an ARC copy of a new book called "MWF Seeks BFF". It's very inspiring in that it makes me really want to make more of an effort to get out and make friends (beyond the walls of Facebook). The only problem is I look at myself and realize I don't think I can. I don't have the energy. I can hardly keep up with the few friends who do understand when I have to cancel at the last minute because I feel like crap, let alone try to spend energy getting to know new people and getting them tot he point where they understand. It does take a real friend to "get" it when I don't feel good or have to cancel because I just can't do something, and not think that I just don't want to hang out with them. Sometimes I don't have the energy to even be with me let alone another human being. But, at the same time I do need to be around other people, and doing so really does make me feel better in a lot of ways (at least mentally). I just really have to pick and choose who those people are going to be, and avoid those who will suck my energy dry.