this used to be a fun house
the change in the weather makes me aware of the things i want. new clothes, a reason to go outside. a new car because when i roll the windows down i can smell gasoline and hear all the awful noises the little runt makes. a new comforter because the one i have now (which i bought only a few months ago) is too warm and already getting torn up. there's one at target, lime green with white polka dots that i think will look nice in my room, especially since its only $30. and its not purple, which most of my room is. i'm decking my shit out with as much green as possible these days.
i finished children of the mind and have moved on to ian mcdonald's river of gods. both sci-fi, but it is a welcome change of pace. children of the mind was just way too shiny. there was so much spiritual/metaphysical orgasming everywhere and then the two main couples trot off into the sunset, having gotten married without even sharing more than a kiss respectively. in the first couple of chapters of river of gods, you meet a gangster whose first act to endear you to him is to cut a woman down the middle and dump her in the river, a journalist who gets her rocks off watching a cage fight between two genetically engineered sabretooths, and a muslim politician who falls madly in love at first sight with a russian transsexual supermodel. sorry orson, but this is more of my bag. because really, even avatar has more grit than you do. and by avatar i mean the nickelodeon show, the last airbender, which i've just started the second season of. its makes me happy. that's really the only way i can describe it, when it started out it was very much a kid's show and obviously not very complex, but its expanded since then and nothing about it is disappointing. and then there's battlestar galactica, which is similarly addictive but probably more from the nervous tension and adrenaline it produces.
i had a stupid encounter the week before with a stupid man. he keeps texting me. i've already told him he's not going to get another shot for a while. he thinks he knows everything. the whole thing makes me wish i was born a man-hating lesbian. sometimes i think i am. if so, i'm awfully nice about it. when he asked me if i had done any writing recently (he made a guess that i was a "writer," when i asked how he just said "i can just tell," a phrase he uses a lot, though most of the time he can't) i said i did, but only that it was just nonsense, rather than about a previous encounter remarkably similar to ours. the part that's interesting to me is that he seems to get so much out of it, he says we had "powerful chemistry," a feeling that is not at all mutual. it makes me curious about what other things i can make men feel about me without it being requited.
easter was nice, lots of a food, grandma brought over a box of russel stover chocolates. i was never really aware of what a big deal easter is for most people until this year. there's so much candy and toys stocked in the seasonal section at target. for me it was the one day off i get in the middle of eight days of work. i'm so bored of my job. my emotions about target fluctuate, sometimes its anger, somtimes its complacency. right now its severe boredom, to the point where my subconscious is starting to rebel, calling out "this is lame, let's do something else" loudly enough that it does manage to slow me down sometimes. i want badly to do something else. i want to change with the weather. i may have to settle for just changing my hair.
i finished children of the mind and have moved on to ian mcdonald's river of gods. both sci-fi, but it is a welcome change of pace. children of the mind was just way too shiny. there was so much spiritual/metaphysical orgasming everywhere and then the two main couples trot off into the sunset, having gotten married without even sharing more than a kiss respectively. in the first couple of chapters of river of gods, you meet a gangster whose first act to endear you to him is to cut a woman down the middle and dump her in the river, a journalist who gets her rocks off watching a cage fight between two genetically engineered sabretooths, and a muslim politician who falls madly in love at first sight with a russian transsexual supermodel. sorry orson, but this is more of my bag. because really, even avatar has more grit than you do. and by avatar i mean the nickelodeon show, the last airbender, which i've just started the second season of. its makes me happy. that's really the only way i can describe it, when it started out it was very much a kid's show and obviously not very complex, but its expanded since then and nothing about it is disappointing. and then there's battlestar galactica, which is similarly addictive but probably more from the nervous tension and adrenaline it produces.
i had a stupid encounter the week before with a stupid man. he keeps texting me. i've already told him he's not going to get another shot for a while. he thinks he knows everything. the whole thing makes me wish i was born a man-hating lesbian. sometimes i think i am. if so, i'm awfully nice about it. when he asked me if i had done any writing recently (he made a guess that i was a "writer," when i asked how he just said "i can just tell," a phrase he uses a lot, though most of the time he can't) i said i did, but only that it was just nonsense, rather than about a previous encounter remarkably similar to ours. the part that's interesting to me is that he seems to get so much out of it, he says we had "powerful chemistry," a feeling that is not at all mutual. it makes me curious about what other things i can make men feel about me without it being requited.
easter was nice, lots of a food, grandma brought over a box of russel stover chocolates. i was never really aware of what a big deal easter is for most people until this year. there's so much candy and toys stocked in the seasonal section at target. for me it was the one day off i get in the middle of eight days of work. i'm so bored of my job. my emotions about target fluctuate, sometimes its anger, somtimes its complacency. right now its severe boredom, to the point where my subconscious is starting to rebel, calling out "this is lame, let's do something else" loudly enough that it does manage to slow me down sometimes. i want badly to do something else. i want to change with the weather. i may have to settle for just changing my hair.