baby can't you see what is happening to you what is happening
man, vidal is annoying the hell out of me lately. i'm hoping this summer doesn't turn into another blow-up between him and mom, but everyone's really stressed out and he isn't helping. most of the time when he's home he's rather grumpy because of work - he's a counselor at a girl scout camp, which keeps him on his feet most of the day, which is rough on his back. he comes home at 4:30 everyday, mono-syllabic and snippy, and i mean really rude, if does it again to me i swear i'm gonna bite his fucking head off, no lie. and speaking of his back, despite going through treatment with a chiropractor he seems to like and trust, he's breaking the rules with going back to marching. i can't blame him really - its something he loves to do, but if he doesn't take care of himself he's gonna need back surgery before he graduates. mom and dad are investing a lot of money in his treatment, he soaks up enough funds as it is, and there isn't a lot to go around right now. and this is all on top of him being his normal defensive, stubborn self. mom's been trying to get him do basic chores, and he has this idea that he can continuously make up excuses. i've been kind of pushy about getting tickets in advance for the dark knight so that i'll have someone see it with on opening day. i hate prodding him every two seconds about it, but he never does anything about it! jesus christ is it so hard to say "hey, we're gonna do this right?" and then get some sort of action in return? i mean, help me out, gimme some input, i'm not a damn babysitter. ugh, its not going to fly. at least he'll be out of the house for a week or so for the westconn music camp, which i think is next week. maybe that'll help.
all around things have been kind of gloomy. the good times are when we're all together talking on the porch, or watching tv - so you think you can dance and america's best dance crew are seriously the highlights of my week most of the time. i hate saying that, though at the same time i almost resent myself for wanting a job to cure the feeling of stagnancy - a job can be just as stagnant. i really should go to california. or maybe i'll see if the other stoic, unemployed loner wants to hang out with his cousin. maybe.
i've been trying to write poetry. i have several challenges in my way though, despite my immense amount of free time. there is that i haven't written in a while, and that i'm writing with a specific audience in mind. its weird thinking about the audience - i mean, i always have to a degree, because i think about how my writing would be performed. but when you're trying to make a statement, do you put more emphasis on clarity, so that people understand, or do you trust subtlety and your ability to use words in the best way you know? its coming along though, every time i go back to it, the words come out easier and better. its just taking a lot longer than i would've liked. which is sort of like a lot of things right now.
all around things have been kind of gloomy. the good times are when we're all together talking on the porch, or watching tv - so you think you can dance and america's best dance crew are seriously the highlights of my week most of the time. i hate saying that, though at the same time i almost resent myself for wanting a job to cure the feeling of stagnancy - a job can be just as stagnant. i really should go to california. or maybe i'll see if the other stoic, unemployed loner wants to hang out with his cousin. maybe.
i've been trying to write poetry. i have several challenges in my way though, despite my immense amount of free time. there is that i haven't written in a while, and that i'm writing with a specific audience in mind. its weird thinking about the audience - i mean, i always have to a degree, because i think about how my writing would be performed. but when you're trying to make a statement, do you put more emphasis on clarity, so that people understand, or do you trust subtlety and your ability to use words in the best way you know? its coming along though, every time i go back to it, the words come out easier and better. its just taking a lot longer than i would've liked. which is sort of like a lot of things right now.