wowza its been awhile....
almost a year to the day that I last wrote in here. Crazy!! I reread the last, what, 2 years worth of journal entries (there's only like 6, haha) and man, so weird to read my perspective on things back then as opposed to now. Granted I didn't really go in depth with how I was feeling, still, really interesting to see where I was exactly 1 year ago, and exactly 2 years ago, especially with the whole Robin thing, as opposed to now.
Last year this time, I was still adjusting to the anti-depressants. I hated being on them, but they helped, a lot, and I was pretty much broken. November was 3 months into them and already I had a much better outlook on life. I'm sorry to say that my depression did cost me a few friends. But it totally strengthened a lot of others.
Jennie has always been the most amazing and supportive friend, and she continues to be, even from Santa Barbara. It sucks not living with her!!! I definitely miss it, but she's supposed to be there, and I'm, well, I;m not sure where I'm supposed to be, haha, but for now, our friendship is still going strong and I could never live without her. She inspires me to be a better person every day.
Drea has been my absolute rock, especially since moving back here. Its been kind of weird being back, but Drea has been my partner in crime. We worked out together almost on a daily basis for the first part of summer. Then I got a job again, so we don't see each other as often, but man. Our drunken nights and our relaxing nights and our working out nights are all amazing. She inspires me in a different way, but nonetheless, she is absolutely amazing and I love her.
Berny moved to Texas last summer, almost on a whim. We had a week's warning. Its been rough. She's making new friends out there and Drea and I are carrying on pretty well here, so the hard feelings creep up sometimes, but hopefully she'll be back. She will forever be my crazy friend and is always great for advice, even if you don't intend on taking it!
Anna has been a new addition to my group of trusted friends. Started out not liking each other for various work reasons. One day she invited everyone at work to go line-dancing. Only two people went. THat started a wonderful tradition of weekly line-dancing that I greatly miss. She was totally heaven-sent though, at a time when I needed all the support I could get. She even moved down to Rancho to go to pharmacy school in Pomona!! Talk about craziness. I don't see her nearly enough, but I love her and she is definitely someone who has been a great support the past year.
SInce moving back I've gotten back in touch with various people and its really nice! I was so scared that I was gonna move back to a place I grew up in and not have any friends!! Haha, I lost touch with just about everyone as early as jr year of high school. Once I left for college, I pretty much only spoke with a small group of people. Yay for nice people who never took me off their facebook friends' lists and still inviting me to parties even tho i NEVER ONCE went...haha (thanks Sarah).
I pretty much hate work but its a good job, so I can't complain too much. I just wish I had more time to hang out with people. I work full time and am at school all day on my two days off, so I don't get a lot of free time, and since I'm stubborn and refuse to give up personal time I tend to be very tired for lack of sleep several days in a row. haha, oh well.
I'm back on that strict diet I was on like 3 years ago, I've lost 30 pounds, still have another 35 to go. I keep cheating on it tho, so its not going as quickly as I'd hoped. Last time I wasn't 21....this time I am and the drinking opportunites are a lot harder to say no to and I'm not allowed to have alcohol on the diet!!! oops! Haha, I've been amazing about the food tho for the last 2 weeks, and will continue to do so until the last pound is shed!! STarting SUnday I'll go back to the no-drinking rule and hopefully lose all the weight in a jiffy so I can drink again!!
<3
Last year this time, I was still adjusting to the anti-depressants. I hated being on them, but they helped, a lot, and I was pretty much broken. November was 3 months into them and already I had a much better outlook on life. I'm sorry to say that my depression did cost me a few friends. But it totally strengthened a lot of others.
Jennie has always been the most amazing and supportive friend, and she continues to be, even from Santa Barbara. It sucks not living with her!!! I definitely miss it, but she's supposed to be there, and I'm, well, I;m not sure where I'm supposed to be, haha, but for now, our friendship is still going strong and I could never live without her. She inspires me to be a better person every day.
Drea has been my absolute rock, especially since moving back here. Its been kind of weird being back, but Drea has been my partner in crime. We worked out together almost on a daily basis for the first part of summer. Then I got a job again, so we don't see each other as often, but man. Our drunken nights and our relaxing nights and our working out nights are all amazing. She inspires me in a different way, but nonetheless, she is absolutely amazing and I love her.
Berny moved to Texas last summer, almost on a whim. We had a week's warning. Its been rough. She's making new friends out there and Drea and I are carrying on pretty well here, so the hard feelings creep up sometimes, but hopefully she'll be back. She will forever be my crazy friend and is always great for advice, even if you don't intend on taking it!
Anna has been a new addition to my group of trusted friends. Started out not liking each other for various work reasons. One day she invited everyone at work to go line-dancing. Only two people went. THat started a wonderful tradition of weekly line-dancing that I greatly miss. She was totally heaven-sent though, at a time when I needed all the support I could get. She even moved down to Rancho to go to pharmacy school in Pomona!! Talk about craziness. I don't see her nearly enough, but I love her and she is definitely someone who has been a great support the past year.
SInce moving back I've gotten back in touch with various people and its really nice! I was so scared that I was gonna move back to a place I grew up in and not have any friends!! Haha, I lost touch with just about everyone as early as jr year of high school. Once I left for college, I pretty much only spoke with a small group of people. Yay for nice people who never took me off their facebook friends' lists and still inviting me to parties even tho i NEVER ONCE went...haha (thanks Sarah).
I pretty much hate work but its a good job, so I can't complain too much. I just wish I had more time to hang out with people. I work full time and am at school all day on my two days off, so I don't get a lot of free time, and since I'm stubborn and refuse to give up personal time I tend to be very tired for lack of sleep several days in a row. haha, oh well.
I'm back on that strict diet I was on like 3 years ago, I've lost 30 pounds, still have another 35 to go. I keep cheating on it tho, so its not going as quickly as I'd hoped. Last time I wasn't 21....this time I am and the drinking opportunites are a lot harder to say no to and I'm not allowed to have alcohol on the diet!!! oops! Haha, I've been amazing about the food tho for the last 2 weeks, and will continue to do so until the last pound is shed!! STarting SUnday I'll go back to the no-drinking rule and hopefully lose all the weight in a jiffy so I can drink again!!
<3