δ
lockdown
1630; r
yoochun/junsu; yoochun/yunho
for
dbsk_flashfic the little prince challenge | original post
yunho doesn't try to understand.
he doesn't try to figure out a formula, solve for x y or z because he is afraid they might be imaginary afraid they might not exist afraid that it all will unravel. so instead he will let yoochun come too close, let himself believe that please yunho let me this will be the last time really is the last time, let himself think that this is the right answer for something yoochun will never ask from junsu. yunho will help him with unfastening the buttons on his shirt, fingers sure and steady alongside yoochun's trembling and uncoordinated ones.
yunho will never tell yoochun yes, he will settle for this.
when yunho comes, his legs will tighten unconsciously against yoochun's head, his earrings will scrape bare skin and they will both fracture simultaneously.
yoochun will be thinking of junsu focusing on him, only him, no chortles or red face behind blankets no more stupid jokes told against a veil of heated skin or lidded eyes. yoochun will never tell anyone but if junsu returned his gaze with even half of its original intensity he would give up everything else in a heartbeat.
yunho knows that yoochun will never tame junsu, and he is secretly grateful.
-
when yoochun washes his face in the bathroom one morning, he will first realize that he is in love with junsu. he will catch himself in the mirror, when he hears junsu's voice downstairs asking for his eggs to be a little runny, whining, laughing. yoochun sees his eyes light up, features soften and his lips upturn into a smile. yoochun will remember seeing the exact same smile of his reflection on junsu's face, and yoochun will be terrified because he doesn't suspect, he knows.
-
yoochun will find messages like you've been looking like less of a colorblind retard lately, did you have to bribe someone in wardrobe? in junsu's sent messages, and jealous much, asshole? in his inbox and his heart will wedge in his throat.
when junsu comes back into the room, yoochun will shove the phone back in between the cushions and pretend to read yesterday's newspaper.
hey, have you seen my phone?
huh? no.
yoochun will wait a few minutes to make sure he is gone and reads the same 78 messages over and over again, until his eyes tear and the pixelated hearts and insults and i love yous and i hate yous are too blurry to read anymore, so he closes the phone and hears them inside his head.
-
do you like me like you like him
like who?
hyukjae
what about that idiot?
you like him, right
yeah, like the way an older brother would like his mentally challenged younger brother who drools a lot
and me?
what about you?
-
yoochun will walk in, one nightmorning he forgets, collapsing on the sofa laying his head in junsu's lap he will try to be innocent but the way his lips breathe hot through junsu's cotton pajamas will expose him quickly. so he pretends to be drunker than he actually is, and will turn over so he is looking at junsu, the light and shadow of the television flickering across his face. junsu will adjust his legs uncomfortaby so that yoochun's neck rests at an awkward angle over junsu's left thigh.
whatcha watching?
oh nothing, junsu says, just some nature show. how was your night?
missed you.
what, you and jaejoong didn't have fun?
i know exactly what he's going to complain about before it even leaves his mouth, it's like talking to a broken record
that's why he's your best friend, you think alike, junsu says threading his fingers through yoochun's hair.
what is hyukjae like?
again?
what's the problem, is he like a secret? yoochun fails miserably to keep the bitterness out of his voice.
no, no it's just um well. yoochun feels the smile on junsu's face as he begins to talk about how clumsy he is everywhere but in a dance studio, the unfortunate way his facial features are arranged on his face ("i even told him one day after he messed up my favorite shirt that he would never be famous because he was so awkward looking that they would send him to a circus instead"; "but then he cried for like an hour straight and then i cried for making him cry and then he called me a pussy"; "he's so gross when he cries too, i don't know where all that snot comes from"), the time when hyukjae liked a girl ("but she actually liked me, so i had to avoid her for the rest of our highschool career, she even came at me in an empty classroom and i sort of punched her accidentally in the stomach but hey, bros before hos i always say")
yoochun watches the underside of junsu's jaw as he talks, the gesticulating of his arms as his rambling slowly becomes static in his ears and something ugly and messy is ringing in his ears, and if he hears his name again
junsu
and it came out green! he left it on for too long and he looked like such a freakshow!
junsu
donghae must've read the instructions wrong
goddammit it junsu
huh?
doitdoitdoitaskhimaskhimnowNOW
did you two ever ... you know?
junsu looks down at him, confused
y-you know? fucking junsu just this once catch the clue bus please don't make me say it
his eyebrows furrow, and yoochun knows him all too well to actually think that this way is going work.
let's play a game junsu, says yoochun props his head on his bent left arm between junsu's legs, looks up and forces a shit-eating grin, hoping desperately that it says hey this is gonna be harmless, pure and innocent fun, it's not like anything you say here will mean anything, i'm not going to ask for anything you can't give me.
ok!
um, so i'm going to ask you five questions and you have to tell me the truth
ok
then you can ask me five questions and i'll tell you the truth
that's it?
yeah
that doesn't sound like much of a game
before we start, we have to promise on our friendship that we won't lie
ok! sure of course, junsu beams, extending his pinky.
yoochun feels his conscience splinter and protest as they link fingers, guilty for leading him into this bear trap all doe-eyed and unassuming but he can't wait anymore, needs to know the truth
so he takes the gun to the head
did he ever do this to you?
yoochun pushes himself up and presses his lips against junsu's hoping maybe, just fucking maybe this will make him feel what he feels when junsu laughs smiles and sings never off key years months seconds of shared history and then oh junsu shifts, kissing back?
but junsu is pulling away, and yoochun remembers the the game he can't bear to look up into his eyes while junsu's lips say
y-yes
yoochun's heart, oh his heart, cocks the trigger and
shoots, and he straddles him, fixes on the contour of neck and shoulder because he is scared and brings his hand under the waistband of junsu's pajamas, rubs his palm against him, slowly looks up
did he ever do this to you?
junsu swallows and answers,
yes
he takes yoochun's hand and pulls it away, rejection soft and considerate, stopping yoochun before he does anything even more stupid, before he continues down this path of sheer complete utter fucking stupidity and yoochun even thinks to say thank you if he didn't feel like roadkill on the side of the road so instead he climbs over junsu and sits next to him, staring at the television
i'm so sorry please i don't know what i was doing
it's ok
i just wanted to know if he, if you, if you both
we did.
do you still, i mean now?
y-yeah, when we get to see each other
sorry, i'm gonna go--
you have three more
huh?
three more questions
yoochun knows he has played this like a fool, forgot that he was the one in control of the game and got himself stuck in the trap, and he is the one caught between metal jaws as junsu watches expectantly for his next move, so yoochun will struggle to get out
do you love him?
yes
do you love me?
yes, with all of my heart, please, you know that, right?
do you love me like you love him?
but all yoochun does is twist himself the wrong way, so he prays for a miracle, for the trap to spring because junsu is too honest to lie, because junsu knows the rules, and they swore on their friendship, and junsu would never
c'mon yoochun, please--
just fucking answer me, yes or no
no
yoochun doesn't hear anything after.
-
yunho will watch the back of yoochun's head against the pillow and think that maybe junsu will never be able to take care of something as fragile as yoochun, because yoochun needs lies, needs to be yoked and comforted and whispered to.
yunho thinks it is okay if he is the one who has to do this, because nothing is perfect.
1630; r
yoochun/junsu; yoochun/yunho
for
dbsk_flashfic the little prince challenge | original post
yunho doesn't try to understand.
he doesn't try to figure out a formula, solve for x y or z because he is afraid they might be imaginary afraid they might not exist afraid that it all will unravel. so instead he will let yoochun come too close, let himself believe that please yunho let me this will be the last time really is the last time, let himself think that this is the right answer for something yoochun will never ask from junsu. yunho will help him with unfastening the buttons on his shirt, fingers sure and steady alongside yoochun's trembling and uncoordinated ones.
yunho will never tell yoochun yes, he will settle for this.
when yunho comes, his legs will tighten unconsciously against yoochun's head, his earrings will scrape bare skin and they will both fracture simultaneously.
yoochun will be thinking of junsu focusing on him, only him, no chortles or red face behind blankets no more stupid jokes told against a veil of heated skin or lidded eyes. yoochun will never tell anyone but if junsu returned his gaze with even half of its original intensity he would give up everything else in a heartbeat.
yunho knows that yoochun will never tame junsu, and he is secretly grateful.
-
when yoochun washes his face in the bathroom one morning, he will first realize that he is in love with junsu. he will catch himself in the mirror, when he hears junsu's voice downstairs asking for his eggs to be a little runny, whining, laughing. yoochun sees his eyes light up, features soften and his lips upturn into a smile. yoochun will remember seeing the exact same smile of his reflection on junsu's face, and yoochun will be terrified because he doesn't suspect, he knows.
-
yoochun will find messages like you've been looking like less of a colorblind retard lately, did you have to bribe someone in wardrobe? in junsu's sent messages, and jealous much, asshole? in his inbox and his heart will wedge in his throat.
when junsu comes back into the room, yoochun will shove the phone back in between the cushions and pretend to read yesterday's newspaper.
hey, have you seen my phone?
huh? no.
yoochun will wait a few minutes to make sure he is gone and reads the same 78 messages over and over again, until his eyes tear and the pixelated hearts and insults and i love yous and i hate yous are too blurry to read anymore, so he closes the phone and hears them inside his head.
-
do you like me like you like him
like who?
hyukjae
what about that idiot?
you like him, right
yeah, like the way an older brother would like his mentally challenged younger brother who drools a lot
and me?
what about you?
-
yoochun will walk in, one nightmorning he forgets, collapsing on the sofa laying his head in junsu's lap he will try to be innocent but the way his lips breathe hot through junsu's cotton pajamas will expose him quickly. so he pretends to be drunker than he actually is, and will turn over so he is looking at junsu, the light and shadow of the television flickering across his face. junsu will adjust his legs uncomfortaby so that yoochun's neck rests at an awkward angle over junsu's left thigh.
whatcha watching?
oh nothing, junsu says, just some nature show. how was your night?
missed you.
what, you and jaejoong didn't have fun?
i know exactly what he's going to complain about before it even leaves his mouth, it's like talking to a broken record
that's why he's your best friend, you think alike, junsu says threading his fingers through yoochun's hair.
what is hyukjae like?
again?
what's the problem, is he like a secret? yoochun fails miserably to keep the bitterness out of his voice.
no, no it's just um well. yoochun feels the smile on junsu's face as he begins to talk about how clumsy he is everywhere but in a dance studio, the unfortunate way his facial features are arranged on his face ("i even told him one day after he messed up my favorite shirt that he would never be famous because he was so awkward looking that they would send him to a circus instead"; "but then he cried for like an hour straight and then i cried for making him cry and then he called me a pussy"; "he's so gross when he cries too, i don't know where all that snot comes from"), the time when hyukjae liked a girl ("but she actually liked me, so i had to avoid her for the rest of our highschool career, she even came at me in an empty classroom and i sort of punched her accidentally in the stomach but hey, bros before hos i always say")
yoochun watches the underside of junsu's jaw as he talks, the gesticulating of his arms as his rambling slowly becomes static in his ears and something ugly and messy is ringing in his ears, and if he hears his name again
junsu
and it came out green! he left it on for too long and he looked like such a freakshow!
junsu
donghae must've read the instructions wrong
goddammit it junsu
huh?
doitdoitdoitaskhimaskhimnowNOW
did you two ever ... you know?
junsu looks down at him, confused
y-you know? fucking junsu just this once catch the clue bus please don't make me say it
his eyebrows furrow, and yoochun knows him all too well to actually think that this way is going work.
let's play a game junsu, says yoochun props his head on his bent left arm between junsu's legs, looks up and forces a shit-eating grin, hoping desperately that it says hey this is gonna be harmless, pure and innocent fun, it's not like anything you say here will mean anything, i'm not going to ask for anything you can't give me.
ok!
um, so i'm going to ask you five questions and you have to tell me the truth
ok
then you can ask me five questions and i'll tell you the truth
that's it?
yeah
that doesn't sound like much of a game
before we start, we have to promise on our friendship that we won't lie
ok! sure of course, junsu beams, extending his pinky.
yoochun feels his conscience splinter and protest as they link fingers, guilty for leading him into this bear trap all doe-eyed and unassuming but he can't wait anymore, needs to know the truth
so he takes the gun to the head
did he ever do this to you?
yoochun pushes himself up and presses his lips against junsu's hoping maybe, just fucking maybe this will make him feel what he feels when junsu laughs smiles and sings never off key years months seconds of shared history and then oh junsu shifts, kissing back?
but junsu is pulling away, and yoochun remembers the the game he can't bear to look up into his eyes while junsu's lips say
y-yes
yoochun's heart, oh his heart, cocks the trigger and
shoots, and he straddles him, fixes on the contour of neck and shoulder because he is scared and brings his hand under the waistband of junsu's pajamas, rubs his palm against him, slowly looks up
did he ever do this to you?
junsu swallows and answers,
yes
he takes yoochun's hand and pulls it away, rejection soft and considerate, stopping yoochun before he does anything even more stupid, before he continues down this path of sheer complete utter fucking stupidity and yoochun even thinks to say thank you if he didn't feel like roadkill on the side of the road so instead he climbs over junsu and sits next to him, staring at the television
i'm so sorry please i don't know what i was doing
it's ok
i just wanted to know if he, if you, if you both
we did.
do you still, i mean now?
y-yeah, when we get to see each other
sorry, i'm gonna go--
you have three more
huh?
three more questions
yoochun knows he has played this like a fool, forgot that he was the one in control of the game and got himself stuck in the trap, and he is the one caught between metal jaws as junsu watches expectantly for his next move, so yoochun will struggle to get out
do you love him?
yes
do you love me?
yes, with all of my heart, please, you know that, right?
do you love me like you love him?
but all yoochun does is twist himself the wrong way, so he prays for a miracle, for the trap to spring because junsu is too honest to lie, because junsu knows the rules, and they swore on their friendship, and junsu would never
c'mon yoochun, please--
just fucking answer me, yes or no
no
yoochun doesn't hear anything after.
-
yunho will watch the back of yoochun's head against the pillow and think that maybe junsu will never be able to take care of something as fragile as yoochun, because yoochun needs lies, needs to be yoked and comforted and whispered to.
yunho thinks it is okay if he is the one who has to do this, because nothing is perfect.