*beware* read at your own risk this is a depressed writing *beware*
i miss having friends. i really do. Of late i haven't seen anyone who isn't my boyfriend or know through him or my brother. no one wants to see me except Jared, and even there i dont know if he really wants to see me or if i'm just someone to have pity for. All of my brothers friends just pick on me. Jareds friends don't seem to be particurarly fond of me. i'm just "the girlfriend". Robert and Cat seem to have abandoned me and Jared. Stanton doesn't want to see me apperently...
i used to have friends. Or maybe that was just a dream? things in my waking life and dreaming life are equally confusing. i used to have really good friends who i could count on for... well someone to talk to sometimes. Some one i could trust who i wasn't sleeping with. i don't know these people Jared knows. I don't know my brothers friends. i feel all alone again. Am i really so bad? What is it that drives people away from me? i thought i was a good friend. i tried my hardest. what more could you ask?
is it the world that really sucks... or is it me who is bad at living? i don't know. What i do know is that i try and i try and i hope for there to be people who will help me when i need it- at least a little. But they're never there. It's always me who is there for everyone but no one to catch me when i fall. Or even to steady a slight wobble. All i want is a friend. just one. a true one.
i used to have friends. Or maybe that was just a dream? things in my waking life and dreaming life are equally confusing. i used to have really good friends who i could count on for... well someone to talk to sometimes. Some one i could trust who i wasn't sleeping with. i don't know these people Jared knows. I don't know my brothers friends. i feel all alone again. Am i really so bad? What is it that drives people away from me? i thought i was a good friend. i tried my hardest. what more could you ask?
is it the world that really sucks... or is it me who is bad at living? i don't know. What i do know is that i try and i try and i hope for there to be people who will help me when i need it- at least a little. But they're never there. It's always me who is there for everyone but no one to catch me when i fall. Or even to steady a slight wobble. All i want is a friend. just one. a true one.