Stupid Crap
It will be ten months since we began dating, at the end of this month. I'd say ten month anniversary, but he gets all peckish and states that an anniversary is an annual celebration and ten months can't be an anniversary, so I'll let him have his cake and not use mainstream slang.
I'm moving in. I've been staying there part of the week off and on lately, and a lot of my stuff is already there. The essentials are going to go next, so I can stay permanently and just go back to Mom's for the rest of the crap.
The whole situation makes me happy. He makes me happy, I really enjoy my time with him.
But sometimes I do that damn thing I do, with the doubt and jealousy, the fear and nontrust.
I have a strong commitment to him, even with my trust issues, I can't imagine doing anything to wrong him. I'm honestly accepting of the fact that we could get married someday. And after that Rob mess, I can't believe I'm even considering this. But I am. I must be happy.
However, I have this nasty feeling that he doesn't share the same ideas. I don't know why. I just have this belief that I could spend years beside him and never hear those four little words, never see a band on my finger. I want to be married someday, want to try to have a family that involves human children and not just furry ones.
By the way, http://www.oinkoinkmoo.com/kids contains a lot of photos of our new doghter, Trisha. =)
I don't know. I have illusions of grandeur, and high hopes and expectations. I want to see the proposal come in the middle of a crowded place, where he gets on bended knee and asks...and doesn't leave a stupid little note and take off before I can answer him, out of fear of rejection in public. He knows I'd say yes.
Am I damned for wanting a fairytale?
I'm moving in. I've been staying there part of the week off and on lately, and a lot of my stuff is already there. The essentials are going to go next, so I can stay permanently and just go back to Mom's for the rest of the crap.
The whole situation makes me happy. He makes me happy, I really enjoy my time with him.
But sometimes I do that damn thing I do, with the doubt and jealousy, the fear and nontrust.
I have a strong commitment to him, even with my trust issues, I can't imagine doing anything to wrong him. I'm honestly accepting of the fact that we could get married someday. And after that Rob mess, I can't believe I'm even considering this. But I am. I must be happy.
However, I have this nasty feeling that he doesn't share the same ideas. I don't know why. I just have this belief that I could spend years beside him and never hear those four little words, never see a band on my finger. I want to be married someday, want to try to have a family that involves human children and not just furry ones.
By the way, http://www.oinkoinkmoo.com/kids contains a lot of photos of our new doghter, Trisha. =)
I don't know. I have illusions of grandeur, and high hopes and expectations. I want to see the proposal come in the middle of a crowded place, where he gets on bended knee and asks...and doesn't leave a stupid little note and take off before I can answer him, out of fear of rejection in public. He knows I'd say yes.
Am I damned for wanting a fairytale?