(no subject)
"Yeah...Well when it first started, before I even came over that first time we admitted to each other that we have had crushes on each other the whole time we've been friends. I said I liked him and he said 'I like you I've ALWAYS liked you, that's part of the reason I stayed away from you'.
I told him I wanted to kind of explore this and see what happens. He said he didn't want a relationship but he thought that we seem to be on the same page. When I came over that night he kind of freaked out when I mentioned our conversation and started to diminish and deny everything he said. So I told him we weren't on the same page and that I didn't want to do this with him.
He called me back the next day and apologized and said he over-reacted. He said he is scared of an emotional connection and that he's been under pressure to stay unattached and single and he's not sure if that is the right thing. He said he wants me to know that he does like me.
The next week he texted me relentlessly and flirted with me in a way he never had. When I came to see him again he was very emotionally open and intimate and romantic. But it was kind of scary, kind of too much too soon. I was nervous I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And it slowly did. He started to get more distant and started to treat me as a sexual object only.
After a month and half I asked what was going on in his end. He said that he kind of experimented to himself to what it would be like to try it and realized he's not ready for it. He said he was too young for it and that it was too intimate and maybe he'd be ready for something like that when he's older. He said some things too that made me feel very sad for him because I realized how scared he truly is of an emotional connection. Most of the time though, he was super cold and mean and denied or diminished every thing he said to me about his feelings, and kind of twisted his own words to fit his decisoin.
It was pretty traumatic for me because like I told him in the beginning, I did like him and I wanted to explore. I didn't really process it until much later though. He said he was open to still seeing each other "unattached", which is very easy for him because that's what he is used to doing. I tried it that way and it hurt too much. That's kind of when I started to unravel, my emotional state became very unstable.
I hadn't really faced my feelings for him. I kind of compartmentalized them pretty deep in my brain for the past couple years. I didn't really even let them out when we were experimenting at the beginning of the summer. When he kind of pulled the rug out from underneath me I think I just didn't have an outlet for my feelings and I lost control of my emotions."
I told him I wanted to kind of explore this and see what happens. He said he didn't want a relationship but he thought that we seem to be on the same page. When I came over that night he kind of freaked out when I mentioned our conversation and started to diminish and deny everything he said. So I told him we weren't on the same page and that I didn't want to do this with him.
He called me back the next day and apologized and said he over-reacted. He said he is scared of an emotional connection and that he's been under pressure to stay unattached and single and he's not sure if that is the right thing. He said he wants me to know that he does like me.
The next week he texted me relentlessly and flirted with me in a way he never had. When I came to see him again he was very emotionally open and intimate and romantic. But it was kind of scary, kind of too much too soon. I was nervous I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And it slowly did. He started to get more distant and started to treat me as a sexual object only.
After a month and half I asked what was going on in his end. He said that he kind of experimented to himself to what it would be like to try it and realized he's not ready for it. He said he was too young for it and that it was too intimate and maybe he'd be ready for something like that when he's older. He said some things too that made me feel very sad for him because I realized how scared he truly is of an emotional connection. Most of the time though, he was super cold and mean and denied or diminished every thing he said to me about his feelings, and kind of twisted his own words to fit his decisoin.
It was pretty traumatic for me because like I told him in the beginning, I did like him and I wanted to explore. I didn't really process it until much later though. He said he was open to still seeing each other "unattached", which is very easy for him because that's what he is used to doing. I tried it that way and it hurt too much. That's kind of when I started to unravel, my emotional state became very unstable.
I hadn't really faced my feelings for him. I kind of compartmentalized them pretty deep in my brain for the past couple years. I didn't really even let them out when we were experimenting at the beginning of the summer. When he kind of pulled the rug out from underneath me I think I just didn't have an outlet for my feelings and I lost control of my emotions."