At my most beautiful
Sometimes I sit alone in my room late at night and I cry.
It is a good thing though, it means I am alive- all of me, and that I have so much still to lose.
Which is also a good thing, for it means I have much that I love.
This might not make much sense to any of you.
In fact, it might just sound like a bunch of emo drivel, and that's okay.
For a very large portion of my life I could not cry.
I thought I had already lost too much; where I should have felt life, I felt only numbness.
I was trapped in a winter of my own creation; built for survival when I lacked the ability to cope.
Now I can begin to let go, to remember, to forget, to forgive, to cherish, to heal old wounds I thought would never go away.
Now I can cry.
It is a good thing though, it means I am alive- all of me, and that I have so much still to lose.
Which is also a good thing, for it means I have much that I love.
This might not make much sense to any of you.
In fact, it might just sound like a bunch of emo drivel, and that's okay.
For a very large portion of my life I could not cry.
I thought I had already lost too much; where I should have felt life, I felt only numbness.
I was trapped in a winter of my own creation; built for survival when I lacked the ability to cope.
Now I can begin to let go, to remember, to forget, to forgive, to cherish, to heal old wounds I thought would never go away.
Now I can cry.