I need to leave
I want to go to the midwest...where there are less people, and I can curl up into a ball and just cry by myself.
Today has sucked majorly. Life sucks majorly. It's the end of the semester, my first grad school semester. I don't like it. I enjoy classes, but not work. I like learning about forensics, but don't want to write papers. I just wanna be in the lab and do it. I am really not liking my job. I want to find a new one...in my field. I hate where I am living. The complex sucks, management is a whore, and maitinence (why can't I fucking spell today?!?!) blows cock. I'm unhappy...in life in general.
Back to today...I woke up 10 minutes late, left the apartment only 5 minutes late though. Almost locked my keys in the car, while it was running. Got stuck in traffic becuase 1) I was late 2) there was roadwork 3) there was an accident.
I've been thinking lately...about the things I have lost in life, my friends, loved ones....it hurts...all of it. I feel very alone except for a few people (Chris, Joe, Ashley and my roommates) Those five people I talk to everyday...I guess I only matter to them. They are the only people who make time for me anymore..I cherish my friendship with all of them. There is one other person who has expressed to me that they want to spend time with me, but can't solely because he is in a different country. He told me that he feels the same way...that since he left, he doesn't feel close to him friends and that I am the only person who talks to him anymore. And everytime he is over in Iraq, I'm afraid for him. I'm afraid for other people too. But I'm sure you are all sick of hearing my depression over him too. Lastly, I'm afraid for me. I feel like I am a failure..that I am going to fail in my career. I wish I could be wiped out of society.
Today has sucked majorly. Life sucks majorly. It's the end of the semester, my first grad school semester. I don't like it. I enjoy classes, but not work. I like learning about forensics, but don't want to write papers. I just wanna be in the lab and do it. I am really not liking my job. I want to find a new one...in my field. I hate where I am living. The complex sucks, management is a whore, and maitinence (why can't I fucking spell today?!?!) blows cock. I'm unhappy...in life in general.
Back to today...I woke up 10 minutes late, left the apartment only 5 minutes late though. Almost locked my keys in the car, while it was running. Got stuck in traffic becuase 1) I was late 2) there was roadwork 3) there was an accident.
I've been thinking lately...about the things I have lost in life, my friends, loved ones....it hurts...all of it. I feel very alone except for a few people (Chris, Joe, Ashley and my roommates) Those five people I talk to everyday...I guess I only matter to them. They are the only people who make time for me anymore..I cherish my friendship with all of them. There is one other person who has expressed to me that they want to spend time with me, but can't solely because he is in a different country. He told me that he feels the same way...that since he left, he doesn't feel close to him friends and that I am the only person who talks to him anymore. And everytime he is over in Iraq, I'm afraid for him. I'm afraid for other people too. But I'm sure you are all sick of hearing my depression over him too. Lastly, I'm afraid for me. I feel like I am a failure..that I am going to fail in my career. I wish I could be wiped out of society.