~What it is to be me~

[drkangelmemnoch]

I feel it building up
I feel it starting to build
like water behind a leaking dam
I know I am about to have an explosive spill
I feel the urges to run and hide
to bury myself in the sand
I am shying away from all that I know
I am even letting go of your hand
I feel the darkness rising
it comes with the tears and the pain
the closer I get to making it out
it seems I have to start all over at the beginning again
So here I am standing
pouring my heart and soul to the floor
watching spread like blood in a pool
watching as I close that final hearts door
Why does it have to be this way
why do I feel so cold
I ask myself this each and every day
why I am I beginning to feel so old
Why cant I just find my happiness
that one that I can love and hold
instead I search like the lonely for a home
and I am spoiled and dusty,a broken and disfigured mold
a mold of a human being
of the person I have tried to be
of a person that I never was
a person that was never me
So there it is
that is how I feel deep inside
I can pretend with the best of them
while inside I hide and hide
this is the person that I have become
this is the person I will always be
I am destined to give and be taken
because thats just what it is to be me.