Jul 27, 2006 02:10
so life is difficult at the moment...
certain things seem to be trying to stress me out.
but.
i did my first abdominal exam skills session on tuesday, which was fun (however, i still don't know quite what i'm looking/feeling/listening for...but i shall figure that out, hopefully *before* the end of the semester...)
i had my short story looked at today(yesterday) in creative writing - the class was very positive about it, and so i'm quite happy with how it went - especially having read some of their examples...(they don't know grammar, or in fact, that psychiatrists are not surprised by "reformed alcoholic/drug user/suicide attempter/mental patient/troubled child"... after all, that's what they trained for for about five years of their LIFE...
life is secrets and decisions
but the secrets aren't as scary as usual...
and the decisions are easier to make.
the work this semester is quite hard, but it feels like we're more like doctors now. i don't know whether to be terrified or elated, but perhaps a combination is a good place to be.
i have an inkling that two of my friends are sleeping with each other, but are avoiding telling me for some reason - or making it at all obvious while i'm around (i don't expect people to TELL me, but i'd like to have some concept of what's going on...)
this is hurtful, but given time, i'll get used to it.
i don't mind what's happening? but i'd like to know...
kiwi introduced me to this flash cartoon called 'salad fingers'...highly disturbing, and really sort of sums up my life at the moment - random snapshots of a surreal universe that is my brain. i'll let myself out shortly, and maybe it will all feel better.
in other news, i have become autistic.
not literally, fool, autism is a birth thing...
but i've begun to hate people touching me,
even accidental bumps...and i can't seem to connect with people or talk to anyone and occasionally i find repetitive movements, like rocking, soothing.
i hope that this is all merely loneliness and will be cured shortly by me feeling not so lonely.
i'm going to sexpo on the weekend - and wollongong. should be fun.