(no subject)
What have i become? I used to be lovely. I used to be cute and loveable. What has scorned me so that the thought of myself sickends me. Is it the failure of life i have undergone but i have time thats what i always think. What can make me happy these days...i dont know i used to know but that was awile back. Am i having a manic moment or am i fully undersatnding where i am and what i failed to accomplish. I need to be who i want but unfortinately that would take confedence. I dont wanna smoke myself stupid. But it takes me to a place where i dont have to worry. I want to have friends who love me again. I want to have people enjoy my company and not feign it just for the approval of everyone in the room. Ignore me again i love it let me wither away alone like i entended in the first place. What cant feel what i did as a teen. Why cant i grow into a person of......yay an adventure so now im going on some run for some substance unknown to me but its far from here and with shadow hes fun(well not now hes been kinda depressed cause he and his girly seperated or she seperated but hell be fine)but yeah waht was i getting at oh well at leats i wont go threw the motions today. Time for my manic mood to change. I need to learn if i finally becaome and show myself i will be loved. I can do what i want i just need not give up every problem i encounter. people stoped talking to me recentally so yeah id be sad but thats okay.